Awwww hun you might find that now you've passed this rather large clot/placenta that the bleeding will settle down - it could have been preventing your uterus from contracting and expelling everything (I'm so sorry to have to use these words ) hence the on again off again bleeding, but I think that it's time you did go and have a scan and a D&C to see that everything has come away because it sounds like you've had a bit of retained product this time and you need a little help

Most importantly though, you are not stupid, you knew what you were doing and now it's time to get a little help and you know that