Admittedly I avoid this section of forum as much as possible but its the only place to turn to when these little things come up.
After Nikita died we used some money and bought a lovely antique cabinet to store all the "special" things. We always had the intention on putting her Urn in there but we've had it in the living room for over 3 years now.
It was there, people could see it, but I always felt it wasn't in "peoples faces" so to speak.
Anyway,
Recently I brought a cabinet for the same spot int he living room, something that has been needed for 6 years. Hubby was finishing what he needed to do to it so I could pop all the trinkets and photos etc up.
I asked him what he thought we should do with Nikita's urn because it s a low line unit and we don't plan on blocking it off from DD anymore and she likes to grap things and pull them down etc ... the last thing we want is to find those final ashes that didn't get scattered all over the floor.
DH decided it was time to move her urn into the cabinet in the other room because "it was a bit like a shrine" I told him that was ok and that I was still going to keep a photo of her in the living room because I don't want her put away and forgotten about.
Just after that I just burst into tears, I don't feel ready to move her out of sight. I have a lovely photo of her on the unit as well as a candle but its very, I dunno almost confronting, not having her there.
It sounds silly but I cannot feel upset by this decision. I am going to leave her int he Lounge on top of the cabinet and have set a few things up around it but it doesn't feel the same.
I just feel so sad .......
who would have thought that a little wooden box could mean so much and a simple shift could be so upsetting ...... its crazy!
OK so now I am just going to blame pregnancy hormones
We always kept Zahra on our mantle peice.. then we moved to a house without a mantle peice and i was lost- i didnt know what to do. We also have two loungerooms now so i was doubly lost!! She now sits on a special bookshelf- in between the two lounge rooms- and i walk past there every day. She is with her pictures and her special cross stich and it feels right, but it was a hard thing to know what to do.
Just do what feels right- if it doesnt feel right to have her in the cabinet, then thats not were she should be
why would you not be turned inside out and upside down about this Nae?
I'm sure there are many people who would feel exactly the same. it's hard. moving the urn after such a long period of knowing your princess was right there all the time would be a massive upheaval for anyone. you will find a new feeling of normal, but you're entitled to feel torn - hell, i would be worried if you weren't. it is sure to stir up your grief all over again
Things like that are so important, to always have our angels as part of the family.
We have the boys' urn in the bedroom now. I suppose we have a shrine for them there too. I dont care. We have their pictures up all over the house. In the last place, Leo's urn was on a shelf in the dining room. We moved the urn when we moved house. We wanted Leo closer to us. Now he shares with Jude so they're both close to us.
Ianto was buried, so we don't have ashes, but just the thought of moving the photos and his "stuff" makes me feel sad. We've got a shrine, too, and very easy for little hands to reach.
I am another one with a 'shrine'. I also agree with Lisa and hate packing away Taite and Seth's ashes or pics when I move.
Is there anywhere else you could put Nikita's ashes so it doesn't feel like she is hidden away? I know personally I have always had to have Taite and Seth's ashes in the lounge room. I hope you find somewhere special to put them that makes you comfortable..
Diamond Girl you are so right. Where to put your child's ashes is definitely a decision no Mama should have to make
We moved her Urn
I have a lovely photo of her on the unit as well as a candle but its very, I dunno almost confronting, not having her there.
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