Why do people insist on saying this??

[blessedatlast]

After hearing about the twins people love to say "I believe everything happens for a reason" OMG!! It's so easy to say that when your children are alive and healthy!!! There is NO possible reason I can think of that makes the death of my babies make sense. Why can't people just say "I'm sorry, that so sad you lost your babies. It is totally unfair" Vent over now

[glenny_c]

I think maybe some people need to think that everything happens for a reason to make it easier for them. I think a lot of those kind of comments are about making the person saying it feel better rather than trying to make you feel better.

Also- I think it totally sucks that your babies are gone. It is totally unfair and I can't think of a reason.

[Ginger]

i don't believe that 'everything happens for a reason'. not for a second. i actually really hate that saying and it grates on me like fingernails down a blackboard every time someone says it to me. ignore them hun. it sux and its unfair and there is absolutely no reason for it.

[kelebek]

[toomanyshoes]

I agree, people suck sometimes

[lilima]

It must be hard for you. It truly must. But I suppose some people really believe it.
The thing we have to remember is some people might think it, but must be mindful that you are talking with a mother who has lost her precious baby.

[NaeNae]

I am sorry people are not more sensitive when it comes to losses.

That said, I am a real believer that "Everything happens for a reason" I believe whole heartedly that I have been through hell and back for a reason, that NIkita's death happened for a reason, that my miscarriages have happened for a reason.
I hate that I have been through it all BUT I am who I am for ALL my experiences and I would not be the mother I am if I had not been through such devastation.

Hun its not always what we want to hear though and I am sorry that people cannot just say "I am sorry" to you

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

hun, i'm sorry people can't be more aware of what they are saying.
personally i think it's just something people say because they don't know what else to say, IYKWIM.
Like when someone is hurt we always seem to ask "are you ok" when well clearly they are not.

[krystals]

"Yeah, well, I just punched you in the face - guess the reason"

hahaha, that's exactly what I was thinking!!! Slap them and say "I guess that was for a reason too"

*hugs*

[blessedatlast]

Thanks for the replies. I definitely agree that people just say it because they have no idea what else to say, but I think it's worse now that I'm pregnant again. It's like if I take home this baby people think "See it all worked out in the end".. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally blessed and grateful to be having this baby, but it doesn't change the fact that I should have 2 and a half year old boys. My first born son's died and there will ALWAYS be a piece of my heart missing. This baby makes things better, gives me hope and brings a smile to my face, but ultimately it doesn't change what happened with Taite and Seth..

Which brings another vent.. When ever you see stories in magazines or the paper about baby death eg: Stillbirth or premature birth they always show the stories that have subsequent children, which I think sends out the wrong message to the public. It's like they try to soften the horrible reality of it by saying "But look at them now" With pictures of their subsequent living children.. Some people aren't lucky enough to have a more children after their babies die, and as I said, even having another baby doesn't change the reality that they are missing their babies that died.

*Sigh, Maybe I'm being too picky, I just had to get that out!!

[TeniBear]

"Yeah, well, I just punched you in the face - guess the reason"

There should be compulsory tactfulness classes for everyone before they're unleashed on the general public, that should stop them saying stupid things


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks

[Jennifer13]

I think your babies lives were all for a reason, they were meant to share your journey. But i don't think there's any reason they left too soon. That just sucks. But their lives were full of meaning to those they've touched, especially their parents.

[Charlotte91]

BAL, I'm so sorry. People just don't know what to say.
DP and I watched your video of the boys and we both cried through it. They are beautiful angels and their spirit will live on forever.

To all you angel-mummies -- I'm so sorry. It's not fair what you went through. I haven't lost a child, but I was at my sister's 20 week ultrasound when we found out that Abigail was gone. I was heartbroken, I was at her appointments and was going to be there for the birth. I know how hard that was for me. I can't imagine what you went through.

Having a living child doesn't make up for an angel. My beautiful 10mo niece doesn't make up for my sisters firstborn.

I've been thinking of you alot lately, BAL. I just want to send you lots and lots of hugs.
xoxo