thread: Screams when sits on potty

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jun 2007

    Screams when sits on potty

    I have started trying to tt my 21mth DS. He will sit on the potty fully clothed but as soon as I take his nappy off and put him on the potty - he scream blue murder. I am sure the whole neighbourhood can hear him
    Is this because he isn't ready? He isn't showing any "signs" of wanting to go on the potty.
    Should I use pull ups or go straight into undies?
    I would like to get him started before Baby #2 arrives in just under 11 weeks.
    Please Help

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    Where the heart is

    Jo, poor you! I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news for you - you may be ready to wean DS off nappies, but kidlets need to be ready in their own time. Actually, it could be counterproductive and create anxiety if you push him according to your own time schedule, and against his readiness. I know this is very much what you didn't want to hear
    What I'm doing with DS is that whenever DP needs to pee, I tell him to take DS out to a tree and show him, with no pressure, just show him what is done. Of course, this will be different for poo!
    The most counterproductive thing would be to act as if doing a poo in his nappy, or anywhere for that matter, is shameful - it's a great way to get a kid constipated.
    Just keep being loving and unconditionally accepting of him (no "if you do this, then...", whether it's a reward or punishment, cos that teaches the child that he has to do more than just be himself to be loved, even if that's not what you mean by it) is the best preparation you can do with him for the next child

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Somewhere Over The Rainbow

    Doesn't sound as though the little one is ready at all. Let him be ready in his own time, or you will cause all of you too much stress!!

  4. #4

    Mar 2004

    Maybe try a different approach with introducing the potty.
    Just let him go bare-bummed for awhile and put the potty out so he can sit on it if he wants.

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Jan 2005
    Down by the ocean

    Back right off! I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear but you will be making things worse if he isn't ready.

    Also remember that while it seems like an ideal time to TT the arrival of a new bub can be traumatic for a little fella and regression can happen which will frustrate you no end!

    Like Dachlostar has suggested bare bummed is a good way to get him to see his gear in action. Take him outside and give him lots of drinks. It may get him going and spark a little interest and get him aware of what is going on.

    My boys weren't TT till 3 1/2 for Mason and 2 1/4 for Angus.

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jan 2008

    is he scared he may fall in? alot of kids are scared. I used to put the poty in front of the tv or take in bathroom with me depending if i needed to go

    if taking in bathroom he would eb on it as i would on th big toilet.

    but trying to pass the first hurdle of getting him to sit on it i did this with bribery. Cup of milk and a cookie and pout it in front of the toilet. the eating seemed to distract him quickly and the tv wiggles hi5 what ever helped to. i dunno if this will help you but its worth a try.

    worked great for me my son is 2 and a half fully trained day and night

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2005
    Where the heart is

    I would strongly advise against the use of bribery or 'positive reinforcement'. TT is not a 'behaviour' that needs to be addressed; it's a function that develops with nurturing, not approval and rewards. It's far more preferable for long term success, and beneficial for his little sense of self, if he learns to TT because of developmental readiness, than because it will make mummy happy

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Add aussienic on Facebook

    Feb 2005
    Boyne Island

    From personal experience with potty's.. don't use one.. and IMO don't use pull ups.. although it is a personal choice these.. none of my boys liked the potty.. They hated it so we just bought a little kids toilet seat that goes under the normal toilet se\at..

    But there is also a chance your son isn't ready.. Maybe wait another week or so and just let him see you and DH go to the toilet and talk about toileting in general and where things go and how it all works..

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Lower Hunter, NSW

    My daughter (who is now 2 1/2 ) did exactly the same thing for a few months when we first started TT. I put it down to her having an issue with the release of her urine. She understood what the potty was for, she was interested in what mum and dad did on the toilet, she was aware of her bodily functions (i.e she would come and tell us if her nappy was wet or if she'd done a poo). While this was all a great forward step, it still didn't equate to her being ready to let go of her wee on the potty!! She would sit and scream the foundations down, and almost make herself sick! So we stopped trying for a while, tried again in a few weeks time. It took several attempts over the course of probably 4 mths before she actually managed to wee on the potty.
    While i understand the idea that TT is not supposed to be a "rewarded behvaiour", i think that in the initial stages it can go a long way towards helping. The children are often a bit daunted and sometimes frightened of this new bodily function, and some positive re-inforcement can help smooth those issues away for them. I have used either sugar-free treats, favourite snacks (eg fruit salad, carrot sticks, sultanas etc) and special activities to help my kids to associate TT with being a positive function. Showing them and talking about how proud we are makes them feel more 'grown up' and indepenent. I don't give my daughter a 'treat' every time, but i make sure that throughout the day or at the end of a very good TT day, that she knows why she is being rewarded. Every family has to do and try whatever is best for them selves and their own beliefs/circumstances.
    I would say your son is not quite ready to go it alone, so to speak, but perservere on and off over the next few months and he will gradually become accustomed to it. I had the same idea about getting my daughter TT before the birth of my baby in September.....HA!!! So much for that. Then when the new family member arrives, its not advisable to try too much TT, as your little boy will be emotionally overloaded with accepting and loving his new sibling and asserting his position in the new family order!
    Hang in will all happen eventually!

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