Is there something wrong or does she really just not get it?

[Antheia]

Yesterday Lily wanted to wear undies only with no nappy. So we let her and she wanted to go to the toilet. I knew she wouldn't go though because every day she will ask to go to the toilet and say she needs to wee but we sit her on there and she just doesn't go, its like she holds onto it or something.

Anyway...So we drove her to pre-school and she still had no nappy on. No wees so far, great. So she's at preschool and we tell them that shes wearing undies etc and to take her to the toilet heaps today and not have a nappy on her etc, we packed heaps of clothes for her that day.

Anyway, when DH picks her up apparently she had not done a single wee until about 1pm that afternoon, so that's like 5.5hrs since she's done a wee. During this time they were taking her to the toilet every hour or so. Then after 1pm she's wet herself like 5 times and they had to put a nappy on her because they ran out of clothes. So its like she held on again but just couldnt hold it in anymore and hasnt said she needed to go if that makes sense.

So theyve said she either isnt ready or we just have to keep it up and one day she will jusy click. I mean she is showing every sign that she is ready except for actually weeing in the toilet. She can even climb up on our loo at home no worries, likes to sit on it infact, likes wearing undies only with no nappy, knows when shes about to wee because when she does she holds herself and says 'oh oh wee!' and then wees cause she doesnt hold it in. So i cant see how she isnt ready?

But what's wrong? Why wont she wee on the loo, why is she holidng it in, shes not scared of it or anything and shes seen me go to the loo plenty of times, i just dont get it? Also she NEVER says she has a pooey nappy and so cause we cant smell it(they dont seem to smell for some reason until we take it off) she's gone for a while with a pooey nappy and it burns her bum. Why won't she tell us?? She never get's into trouble for it. So why why why??

If youve got this far, thats great, i guess im jsut a little frustrated at it all because shes showing signals but just not doing it.

[Trillian]

It could be that she's a little bit embarrassed/modest about having someone there watching her? I know Lindsay had a huge problem with people *knowing* he was in the toilet and for ages wouldn't do a poo in a public toilet or at preschool - he would do it at home. It took a long time for him to get over it and once he did he was fine. Do you think she is modest about it, especially if she isn't telling you she has a dirty nappy etc?

[Antheia]

Umm maybe? I can't really tell to be honest. I mean sometimes when she is sitting on the loo we let her lcose the door and we stand in the bathroom(next door) but she still doesn't do it, so i dunno? Her not telling us about needing a nappy change though even when we do ask(after we've checked) she still says she hasn't even though she has.

[katkins]

Tegan, What helped with Kat, and she's only just clicked a few weeks ago, was giving her a blanket to cover herself with so she didn't feel exposed. I just gave her a wrap and put it over her lap. Also, kat did not like the conventional potty, she wanted a toilet. So I compromised (she came in and told me potty when I was on the loo so I grabbed the bucket next to it, put the insert in for our big toilet to convert to toddler size seat) and she sat happily on it. From then on, we'd let her drink all the juice or cordial (very weak of course) she wanted to and just keep her close. She got fidgitty when she needed to go so we'd sit her on every 10 mins and make her sit for a while. We even got her to colour in using the coffee table in front of her while she was sitting on the bucket contraption. It took a few days (3) of doing this and sitting her on it every time she started getting fidgitty and cheering her like no tomorrow when she finally went. She now does not have any accidents and can even go driving without a nappy on. She goes to toilet when out and at pre-school she tells us now when she needs to go. it takes a while for them to learn to control the release part of going to the loo. I'd say Lily just needs to grasp that part and I hate to say it, it's the hardest part for them to understand. What I did may not work for everyone. But it has for us and I hope what I have said makes sense......
Goodluck hon.....it takes patience and practice and praise, but it's so worth it to see their proud face when they manage to go!

[Antheia]

That is a nifty ida of the bucket lol. Well i dont really think its about being exposed because she will quite happily walk out of the house fully naked and not care lol. I dunno i just think maybe she doesnt know she has to wee on it? But that is hard for me to grasp as im sure thats understandable? Anyway we'll keep trying, its just hard because i work full time and DH thinks its wrong to take her to the loo cause he's a guy and she's a girl IYKWIM?