Tegan, What helped with Kat, and she's only just clicked a few weeks ago, was giving her a blanket to cover herself with so she didn't feel exposed. I just gave her a wrap and put it over her lap. Also, kat did not like the conventional potty, she wanted a toilet. So I compromised (she came in and told me potty when I was on the loo so I grabbed the bucket next to it, put the insert in for our big toilet to convert to toddler size seat) and she sat happily on it. From then on, we'd let her drink all the juice or cordial (very weak of course) she wanted to and just keep her close. She got fidgitty when she needed to go so we'd sit her on every 10 mins and make her sit for a while. We even got her to colour in using the coffee table in front of her while she was sitting on the bucket contraption. It took a few days (3) of doing this and sitting her on it every time she started getting fidgitty and cheering her like no tomorrow when she finally went. She now does not have any accidents and can even go driving without a nappy on. She goes to toilet when out and at pre-school she tells us now when she needs to go. it takes a while for them to learn to control the release part of going to the loo. I'd say Lily just needs to grasp that part and I hate to say it, it's the hardest part for them to understand. What I did may not work for everyone. But it has for us and I hope what I have said makes sense......
Goodluck hon.....it takes patience and practice and praise, but it's so worth it to see their proud face when they manage to go!