I dont really have the answer, except to say they do learn in thier own time. She sounds like she is doing well being aware of where to go to the toilet. I am trying to TT DS at the moment ( he turns 3 in sep ) and he is great during the day with no undies or anything on ( he will take himself to the potty and do wees ) but the minute you put undies or pants on he will just wet them!. We havent got number 2's in the potty yet. It is very hard when you hear other people talking about how they are potty trained already, you start to question your child. It sounds like you are doing a fantastic job and hopefully she will do it in her own time. Sorry this wasnt helpfull I just wanted to come and say that I understand your situation in some ways.
Good luck