when encouragement doesnt help

[FabFiona]

Hotl you and I are in exactly the same position. The more I encourage, the less he is interested but will occassionally just disappear and then come out of the toilet to say he has done wee or poo.

I would bite the bullet and give it a try. I would chat to her about it, but not directly about her toileting needs. Something like mummy needs to go the loo before we leave because its a big drive. Then when you get to the shops, say mummy needs to go to the loo, pick the parents room that has the big loo and little loo in it. She may ask to go because she is in a different environment to home. Pack lots of clothes and perhaps a nappy just in case she wants it after an accident.
DD2 was very similar, the more we pushed things and talked to her about it, the more she rebelled. So in the end we just went round like normal, but I vocalised everything we were doing, did what I suggested above. Once she realised it wasnt really about her, but everyone needed to go out every now and again she started to open up to the idea.
Good luck though

This advice probably resonates the most with me. I have to talk to him about this, but not about going to the toilet.

I'm finishing work next week and we have a month off so will bite the bullet and see how we go.

[HotI]

I wasn't so sure about just biting the bullet, but thought i would give it a go. Started with a short trip in the car to visit ZF, (dd has used potty there before and i knew ZF would be ok if there was an accident), and success! DD wee-ed at ZFs place and was dry in the car. Went to fire station, and same thing so I was starting to feel more confident. Went to another mate s place that involves an hour drive, still dry and wees in their toilet. So, DD is pretty much in nickers all day, and just a nappy at night. She has had couple of accidental wees, but tells me or will go to toilet and change straight away. She is also more receptive when i tell her we are going for a big drive and so she might want to try to do wees before we go. She has to watch herself and makes the funniest faces "I did it!" she yells. We had one time in the back yard when i had to say "do you want to go wees on the grass?" cos i knew she wasn't going to make it back to the house, but her nickers stayed dry.

i am going to make some sort of mat for her car seat just in case, but she is doing really well.