Oh Hun...Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're a wonderful person and are always doing the best you can for both of your boys especially Brendan and this truly reflects a mothers deep love for her children.

Due to emergency c/s' with DD1&2 and the fact that I can't remember the first 3 days for their lives due to being highly medicated, I never really felt that I bonded with them. DH was the one that gave them their very first baths, changed their nappies and spent quality time with them. Even today, it is strongly evident that DH & DD's still have a much stronger bond with them than I do.

I have some wonderful NICU nurses to thank for the strong bond that I have with DS. From day one, they encouraged and allowed me to have hands on involvement with his care. Nappy changes, temp checks, baths & stat probe changes would be scheduled as much as possible around my daily movements so they could be done by me or DH. They would ensure that we had regular kangaroo cuddles. Many days it would be for hours at a time, the nurses always emphasis that it was extremely important for bonding with premmies.