I know everyone in the same position as I am with a baby in the hospital would feel the same but I am finding it harder and harder leaving my baby boy every day.
I have a 5yr old daughter, whom I love to death, as well and I was discharged from the hospital about 2 weeks ago now so I have been home and trying to get life on track as well as being there with my baby and looking after him but its so hard.
I love him so much as well as my daughter but I find it so hard leaving him. All I want is for him to be home with us even though I know he needs to be there for his own good and to grow and stuff.
I guess I am just not good with the patience thing and I need more support for my husband (which he's not good at) and I will get through it but I am going to talk to my GP about the chances of having PND as I think I might and that doesn't help.
Anyway sorry needed to get that out I hope it is ok I posted this here
Hun you have been through so much any wonder you are having a hard time dealing with things. Don't be too hard on yourself, it must be hard having to leave your little man behind every day. Hopefully the time will go quick and you'll all be home as a family again.
Thanks Em
Delphmoon Flynn is doing so well and I know he is being well taken care of, most of the nurses r fantastic, its just really hard to let them look after him when it should be me cos I am his mum.
I think I will cope reasonably well with a bit of help but I know I have past the first step in admitting that I am not coping that well. Getting grief from DH about not being home doing the cleaning and cooking has not helped but I am not a miracle worker and I cant be on 100 places at once and he will just have to deal with it. If that means take away for dinner then thats what will happen I just dont have the time or energy to waste on fighting with him
i have not been there but have had a friend who has and it was heartbreaking seeing the pain she was going through not being there all day every day with her LO.
Firstly your husband needs to realise you have a child PLUS a baby in hospital, THEY are your priorities.
Do you have anyone than can come around and help with cleaning, family etc that might be able to make you some meals.
If you need help don't be afraid to ask, people will realise your going through a tough time and i think ANYONE in your position would be feeling the same stresses.
My family r great but after me being in hospital for 8 weeks before I had Flynn and now they still need to help look after DD while I am in at the hospital with the baby I dont want to ask too much.
I am managing to do bits and peices around the house including cleaning a kitchen that didn't look like it has been touched in weeks (long before I came home from hospital) and feeding DD and myself breakfast and stuff so he can stick it. I need to be with Flynn and if that means I dont cook dinner he can get over it theres no reason why he cant cook (except I have to clean up after him or it wont get done)
I have had all three babies in the scn, two I had to leave behind and it's heartbreaking each time. It was hardest with Ds as the two girls were at home. Thankfully it was only four days but I felt like I was on autopilot.
You need to tell your dh to go jump! Sorry but he should be the one cleaning the house or arranging for family to do it. You need to keep your strength up when you are not at the hospital you need to rest not run around.
Thanks for the replies
I am doing a bit better after a crappy morning. I had a meeting with a social worker at the hospital and that helped alot.
I am going through PND and I have taken the first steps and admitted it and have made and appt with my GP
Flynn had a rough night and that took things a step backwards but after some tests and a good day we can try bottle feeding him my breast milk again. I still am not coping with leaving him every day but I am hoping I manage to get through it and things get better (or at least no worse) until we can bring him home.
I'm glad the talk with the social worker helped hun, and I'm sorry Flynn took a step back last night - I hope he comes pouncing forwards in leaps and bounds and you get your little man home soon.
I found it gut wrenching having to leave DD in that massive hospital, I could only ever leave her when she had settled back to sleep, but I didn't have any other kids to consider at the time so you have it much harder than I did. Don't be too harsh on yourself hun. Maybe your DH is feeling the pain, just not sure what he can say or do - so he's not doing much (other than maybe thinking?)....Just a thought.
I did consider that too Leesa and I think ur right.
I have been thinking I need to be more aware that he's probably not knowing what to do or say or even feel himself let alone thinking about how I am doing so I should be a bit easier on him but its very hard when I feel like he expects too much of me right now.
I guess we will just manage the best we can and hopefully things will settle down soon.
Flynn is doing much better for now I am just praying he behaves over night and we can get him transferred ASAP
DH tells me that men just want to fix things - and if they can't be manly and fix things they are lost with what to do (not all men are like this, but mine certainly is).
I'll light a candle for Flynn to make a speedy recovery!
Thanks Leesa
Ur right my DH is the same so he must be feeling pretty useless. Ah well we will plod along and hope things just fall into place and be as they should be all of us home together
yep he was born at 31 weeks and 5 days
I have had a better couple of days and I am hoping it will continue to get better and Flynn does too cos if he stays being good then he can be moved to a hospital closer to home then all I need is to get him home from there.
I have been doing all his cares, baths, weighs and tube feeds the last couple of days too so I am hoping it will help to get him home if I can prove I can do it all
He's home now
it was a hard and long almost 6 weeks but we did it and he is doing well at home.
I have the nurse coming again this morning to weigh him and I am hoping for a good result on that but he is happy and alert and feeding quiet well so I am happy
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