Thanks for the replies
I am doing a bit better after a crappy morning. I had a meeting with a social worker at the hospital and that helped alot.
I am going through PND and I have taken the first steps and admitted it and have made and appt with my GP
Flynn had a rough night and that took things a step backwards but after some tests and a good day we can try bottle feeding him my breast milk again. I still am not coping with leaving him every day but I am hoping I manage to get through it and things get better (or at least no worse) until we can bring him home.