thats just brought tears to my eyes i remember the first time i got to hold chakotay or change him such a special moment. What a trooper hey I totally understand why you have not told everyone.
Not sure what hospital you are in - but when I had DD at 31 wks the WCH had a 'wookie' system, where DD and I would have a piece of material each which had a sphere at the top (like a head) and a material hat was sewn into it (if you can imagine casper the ghost in bright flowery colours wearing a floopy wizards hat we are on the same page). I had one wookie and DD had the other, and at each visit I would swap them so we could get used to each others smell. I had my wookie stuff down my bra ALL the time lol....and it just made me feel closer to DD when I sadly couldnt be by her side. Once I thought I lost my wookie and I was in hysterics - but phew, found it next to my bed.
leesa i agree good idea i was sick and could not visit my son in nicu so i sent up my nighty for the nurses to make his bed in (my dad said to do this) and got them to take pictures for me . It helped alot.
Congratulations on your tiny little bundle arriving safely and for her strong start so far. I saw your birth announcement and you have not left my thoughts. My DD was 29 weeks 6 days and was home in 6weeks 4 days. I shared a NICU room for two weeks with two 27 weekers a little bigger than your DD before moving on to special care.
LIke Leesa I carried around something sort of as a "baby replacement". Mine was a small hand knitted teddy from a friend and I could not sleep without it in my hands. It is really good to have something constant. I would hold it when expressing, and look at my collection of photo's of DD constantly.
I really wish i had written everything down as it is a bit of a blur now, so grab a diary and start writing down how many mls of EBM she is given, weight, when you did nappy changes etc.. You see how her feeds increase and it fills you with hope and purpose that you are part of her care.
We only had family visit for the first week, luckily our friends did not mind as she was too precious to share at first. I could not emotionally cope with others being with me other than DH and my family at first. It was like an intrusion in to our fragile new relationship now that she was out of my womb. I also swallowed my pride and told the social worker asap that I needed to see a counsellor because of past depression and that was so necessary. I saw her weekly for a bit as well as the social worker who i saw every two days or so.
If you do not have one see if you can get a mobile that does internet. I had one in the last two weeks and it was such a relief to be able to connect to the world when I would have a break, email, facebook. I discovered BB after she was home.
I cried at the drop of a hat after the shock wore off. So did the other mum's in my room. My DH did not fully understand. The tears would come mid meal, having a cuppa, talking to someone etc no warning. It is normal.
All the best and you are getting so much love and support from all at BB. Ask any questions, share or just vent. We will be here for you.
I'm glad you're in a place where you feel comfortable, and able to rest and recharge. Good on your for being so determined to keep going with the pumping - it's amazing that they need so little to start with (although my DS was bigger and having more, 10mls every 4 hours) but soon enough you find that their need increases, and the milk starts disappearing from the fridge and freezer so much faster! Which is why it's so important to establish a good milk supply at the start, so it's there for them when they're bigger. Do you have any literature about breastfeeding prems? If you don't have the ABA booklet 'Breastfeeding Your Premature Baby' I'd love to organise to send you a copy. My DH found it a really helpful thing to read too. If you don't have it, swing me a quick PM with your address and I'll get a copy off to you.
You're doing so well by the sounds of it, just hang in there, and keep doing what feels right for you
Janie, you're a sweetheart. I've been meaning to track down a copy of the ABA prem booklet but haven't got my head on straight yet! I will PM you, thank you so much. I don't have the words. The nurses suggested that for the first few days I don't get myself up at night to pump to try and rest a bit which was very kind of them, but now that I've had a few good nights sleep to re-charge, I'll be getting up to pump at least once overnight. I'm so determined to keep my supply strong, I don't want it dwindling.
DD is still doing really well. She will have some big changes today though with her central line so one step at a time.
Wishing your DD well with her big changes today. Looking forward to hearing more about her progress!
You're more than welcome hun. The midwives said the same thing to me...........it is very important to recover, but night time pumping is crucial to establishing a good supply. I know as well as anyone that dragging yourself out of bed to sit with a bit of plastic is horrible, and very difficult. I never would have thought it could be so difficult. But it is so so important. Even if you can keep the pump next to your bed so you don't actually have to get up. I know it seems a very long time away, but sometime in the future you're going to bring this little girl home, and she's going to want to feed in the night . Do you have a double pump? It makes a huge difference to you if you can double pump. Can I ask, were you able to breastfeed your son?
Speaking of, how is your DS going so far? And your DH?
ETA Sorry for the million questions. Feel free to answer, or not, in your own time
Thanks Janie for your kind words & support. Heidi is still going really well, nice & stable and doing all the right things. Still has minimal breathing assistance, but she's the most amazing little girl. She's the tiniest one in the NICU but is the most settled and calm which is lovely to see. They weren't able to get a central line in yesterday so they'll be trying again today, probably as we speak. She had an ECG just to check her heart this morning which was all perfect and she is having head scans every 2-3 days to monitor things in her brain. So far so good. Her jaundice and bruising is all resolving nicely too so her pretty little face is getting even more beautiful every time we see her.
As for the expressing, I'm doing the best I can right now. I am sensing my supply starting to dwindle a little bit, but trying not to stress too much about it. I'm just trying to pump more often and during the night. I have purchased an electric pump which should arrive tomorrow hopefully, I've been using my trusty manual pump that I had when DS was born so hopefully that will make a big difference. I've been making the most of the pumps in the NICU when we're visiting too. Breastfeeding DS was an absolute disaster - really long story. I had a great supply, he just managed to rip me to shreds early on and I never recovered. I had a series of infections, one after the other and I got very unwell. We managed to express and feed EBM for 6 weeks then I was just too weak and had to make a decision that I never wanted too and still struggle with every day. So my milk for Heid is so important on so many levels.
DP and DS are doing well. We're all tired and drained but coping ok looking after each other. DS is kind of a bit little to really understand what is happening as yet. He's just spending a bit of extra time with his Nanna's which he loves. But he does know something is up. We took him in for a quick visit this morning and he was more fascinated by the blue lights Heidi was under rather than her! It won't take long and he'll get it though, he's a smart little cookie. DP is being my rock right now. He is still stunned that he has a baby girl and she is alive and doing so well - we both are. He misses her terribly and feels a bit helpless but is supporting me in every way I need.
Have been thinking of you, and glad to hear things are going ok. Great work with the expressing, your milk will be helping your little girl grow big and strong.
Infinity, you are doing so well and my heart breaks for you having to leave your tiny girl behind at the hospital when it's time to go home. I hope your DS is better soon. What a fabulous job you are doing juggling everything! Your expressing efforts are obviously helping Heidi enormously. LOL at the slow rightie. It might be frustrating, but if it makes you feel any better, many, many women have an underperforming bb. Mine was leftie. I'm sure it produced about a quarter of what the other side did. I used to console myself with the idea that if a mother can feed twins, then only one bb needed to be firing on all cylinders to keep one baby going really.
It's great to hear from you. Take care of yourself, it sounds like you are doing a very good job of managing what you can and can't cope with. I am seriously in awe.
I totally understand why you have not told everyone.
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I have no advice, but I am so proud of you and your little girl!
. Do you have a double pump? It makes a huge difference to you if you can double pump. Can I ask, were you able to breastfeed your son?
I hope your DS is better soon. What a fabulous job you are doing juggling everything! Your expressing efforts are obviously helping Heidi enormously. LOL at the slow rightie. It might be frustrating, but if it makes you feel any better, many, many women have an underperforming bb. Mine was leftie. I'm sure it produced about a quarter of what the other side did. I used to console myself with the idea that if a mother can feed twins, then only one bb needed to be firing on all cylinders to keep one baby going really.
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