Can a strong trusted friend or family member go with you? Or meet you for lunch there? Even before we started having visitors I would try and have someone come and see me when I would have lunch or a coffee for a sanity break. Strong and trusted sounds a bit naff I know but a friend like that visited from interstate and came with me for a few days when I was really low and boy did her strength lift me up.
hope you get more cuddles soon and she gets back to her milk.
I used to be quite distressed about my different boobs, but your rightie is not a dud performer. It is doing its best too. I used to ask new nurses on if they know what I could do, asked an LC, midwife, etc. Finally I accepted it and thought if the visible difference remains this bad I can get a "booster" for the leftie. It settled down after a few months but I still would not wear a bikini top in summer if you know what I mean LOL!
The NICU journey is tough. Real tough. And you are doing it with a toddler - you are absolutely admirable.
Everyone hits the wall at least once. It's part of the journey. I hope the hospital has a social worker/psychologist you can talk to. I found them invaluable to just spit out EVERYTHING that was going on in my head and just to let go.
With the boobies - mine were different too. Somehow my left is the dud one. Chocolate comes from the right.... I named mine chocolate and caramel - chocolate flows beautifully but caramel was a bit gluggish...
You are doing a marvellous job with Heidi. She chose you for her Mummy for a very good reason. You can do ANYTHING.
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