So we begin our NICU journey....

[*Infinity*]

Thank you all for your hugs, they were much needed. I'm just feeling so bloody helpless right now, its so deeply frustrating. And to see her unwell and so so flat is just terribly hard. Its always hard when your kids get sick, but such a tiny little girl who has been through so much already doesn't need to be going through all this again. She's barely moving, just sleeping away and hardly manages to wiggle around at all. When she's well she's normally very active & responsive. She'll open her eyes every so often, but just doze back off again. And she's not really tolerating being handled very much either, wincing and crying when the nurses go in to do anything. If she's left alone she doesn't seem to be in too much discomfort though which is somewhat positive I guess. Her poor little tummy is so round & tight.

She was stable enough overnight and things haven't got significantly worse which is reassuring. She's more bradycardic than she normally is (dropping her heart rate suddenly) but she manages to self-correct most of the time and its normal for them to do it when they're unwell. And they haven't ventilated her again yet which I am surprised about, I think they're just waiting to see how she copes for another day or two, and respiratory wise she isn't quite as compromised this time so I'm hoping so much that tube doesn't go back in. The treatment is much the same as last time - antibiotics, rest her from feeds for a good while and just see how things respond. They're xraying her tummy regularly to watch for any damage and the surgeon is popping back to see her just in case we need to go down that road. I think if she keeps having episodes like this we'll have no choice but to go in and have a look.

[thepixie]

Lots of hugs and positive thoughts for you and your tiny little fighter xxx

[JennaJayen]

Sending out lost of healing vibes to your little girl! She's been through so much, it's not fair that she's so sick!
Also sending out huge hugs to you & your hubby & family too!

[shazzi]

Infinity my heart goes out to Heidi and you and your DH. I always check up on how you are doing but do not send you my well wishes enough. But you are often in my thoughts. I hope that she keeps stable and improves and does not require surgery or any other intervention. It is horrible seeing them so defenseless I know.

lots of hugs

[*Beema*]

Hold on to all the positive signs hun, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you all, having only just passed the recovery period for the first hit of NEC, I pray that Miss Heidi remains stable and takes steps for improvement.

You are such a strong an amazing Mumma, who shouldn't be having to go through this rollercoaster, but you are doing so in such an inspirational way.

Thiking of you all often, and sending more strength and stability to Miss Heidi xxoo

[Cassius2]

I'm sorry sweets that Heidi is going through so much . i reckon Beema is right...hold onto those positives when the darkness comes down as i reckon they will help when light comes up again xx
There is good news (i can guess) that she is self-correcting...and that this is a 'normal' reaction to a difficult situation itms. and i can only imagine that the time off ventilation even when during the illness is a positive for her and a reflection of her strength.
These must be such scary times, know that we are thinking of you and sending all our love and strength

[Jennifer13]

That's such fantastic news, Infinity!!

How exciting will it be to see her in a proper cot for the first time. Well done to everything you've done to get her this far, and to the drs and nurses who've done their best with her as well.

[Amity]

September 2, 9:50pm
Heidi has had a restful day today and she is recovering well. Still on morpheine for pain relief so she's fairly drowsy but still managing to wriggle around and respond to us.

I'm wrecked, no other words for it right now so I'm off to bed.

September 4, 11:04am

DD is still going well, nice & stable and recovering nicely from the op on Wednesday. She is still ventilated and they have weaned her off the morpheine today so she may come of the ventilator shortly too which will be great for her. Once she gets more alert & active when the pain relief finishes, she is not going to like that tube down her neck!

Well I afforeded myself a sleep in yesterday which I desperately needed but back to the around the clock pumping today. The only way I can sleep longer is if someone else is in the house to watch DS while I pump and shower and get ready in the morning. Otherwise I have to be up super early & get it all done before he wakes. Arrrrgggggh. DP is working for about the next 5 days so my stress levels are at the max right now, I think I'm about to have a meltdown. I don't have any baby sitters around - my family are all either working or away for the weekend. And of course it means I cant get down to see DD which is really stressing me out. She needs me, I need her. And DS is unwell again too so he's miserable. I just feel like screaming & crying. I'm trying my best to suck it up and keep my mind & hands occupied. DP will be home later, that's what I keep telling myself.

Sorry these are the only two I can rescue for you honey.

Thinking of you and hoping someone can rescue some more for you. Hugs.

[Sally2]

Clever little girl Miss Heidi! Here's hoping that she's turned the corner now and is well on the road to coming home to her Mummy, Daddy & big brother! It all sounds really wonderful!

[*Beema*]

*Infinity* I have got a copy of all of the parts of the thread that were lost over the past couple of weeks, so you will have all the precious memories to show the beautiful Miss Heid when she grows up

Thinking of you and hoping you have had many wonderful cuddles BF's and precious time with your little girl
Take care xxoo

[shazzi]

Wow Infinity. Her weight gain is great and I hope she hit the big 2kg at the weigh in. Talk of moving to an open cot soon is brilliant. When they get growing, boy do they go fast. I was really anxious when they moved DD to an open cot, and then even more nervous when they took off all monitors just before coming home. I think we get very medicalised coming out of NICU and SC. Well done on the continuing breastfeeding. I used to think that each breast feed is a step closer to home. So happy to hear it is going so well.

[Jennifer13]

Oh yay on the big girl cot!!! I bet she looks so much more like the baby you'll be bringing home soon enough.

I hope you find some answers soon on her digestion.