Registered User
I still cannot see pictures of babies in humidicribs without howling. We had piccies at our antenatal classes of a premmie baby and I had to leave the room I got so distressed. BUT in saying that I have piccies up of Niki around our house and she never made it out of a humidicrib .... go figure!!
Registered User
I can look at Sam's pictures without being upset too. Different situation, I know. The only ones I can't look at are the ones with some particular friends of ours visiting. I remember that while they were there Sam got a new NG tube and my friend hugged me while I cried through the experience... Seeing the pictures with them makes me remember.
And I guess that brings up another positive (with some hints of negative) experience. As it was Christmas and quiet, we were allowed to take other friends into SCN - particularly as the nurses knew that we had no family who lived particularly close. Unfortunately, my SIL used this to her advantage and muscled her way into SCN the day after he was born (with a complete stranger - not impressed!) and demanded to hold Sam... when DH still hadn't... Grrrr. It was good when we could get some friends in, but bad as they also wouldn't necessarily keep others out!
BW
It's such a mish mash of memories isn't it?
I can't speak highly enough of the care that Imogen received at the RBWH (Brisbane) - of course there are always a very few that I didn't feel as kin to but overall they were an amazing bunch of dedicated, caring professionals.
I was in critical care before and after Immy was born. Immy was so tiny that I didn't even get to see her - she was worked on immediately. I remember the words that seemed like they came straight from the mouth of an angel: "Deb she's breathing, she's making small noises can you hear?" "mate she's too small to let you meet her we need to work"... That was heavenly. I truly thought she would die like her 2 sisters and brother before her. I felt like I could fly just knowing she was alive. Deep in my heart I knew then that she would come home.
Later that night the NICU sent a photo up of her. I remember looking at that photo and thinking "there is no way she will live she's too small". It upset me so much & I sobbed and sobbed.
I wasn't allowed to go to NICU for a week as I had influenza A on top of everything else. When I finally went down I was too scared to touch her. I was too scared to give her anything. I was so protective. I didn't want anyone but staff touching her. I was just so afraid.
The smell of NICU is like no other place. The fear as my wheelchair was pushed through the door at her condition each and every time. When an alarm was going the absolute terror that it would be Imogen - then the absolute pain that it was someone elses baby. It was so very very rollercoasterish.
So many veryyoung mothers & I remember just holding and hugging one as she cried for her baby, herself. I can remember celebrating with other Mothers the 1ml of milk they produced!
There were happy times but expectation was high. Finding Immy each time was still in room 1 (highest care) & other babies were promoted but my darling was finding it so tough.
The day she went into an open cot. OMG I cried so much - so much I was so happy, crying so much I had to leave the room.
Her first bath - man oh man to touch my baby all over her body!
Her first cuddle - I sobbed so much she was wet with my tears.
Her transfer from Brisbane to Nambour - I was so nervous that they wouldn't drive carefully enough (it was an ambulance of course!)
The ambos were so amazingly beautiful to me & the staff formed a guard of honor as she arrived - not a dry eye... (she came "home" to the hospital that I was first transferred from and where I had been cared for after so many losses).
Coming home and showing her the sun. I drove so slowly home from the hospital and carried her upstairs and just sat on the couch and cried. Finally...
Registered User
Having you child in the NICU/SCN definitely brings out huge range of emotions ~ good and bad.
Not being able to hold my two tiny prems after birth I found extremely traumatic...especially as they where both emergency c-sections and I couldn't see them in the NICU straight away.
Leaving the hospital 3 days after they were born was one of the hardest things I have had to do. (As you would all know)
It was the best feeling to hold my DD on day 3 and she was not on breathing support.
I remember the horrid feeling when we received the phone call to say our son had NEC and his bowel had perforated and come straight in. Seeing the grim faces of the doctors...telling us he may not survive...asking my DH if he wanted him baptised (he is catholic I am not). The bag in cut into his side...the pain on my little mans face despite the high dose of morphine.
Then the wonderful day when the doctors had a little smile on their faces and said they thought he was over the worst of it.
Waiting 3 long weeks to get to hold my son was so hard...watching all the other parents come in a have cuddles and all I could do is touch him through a little door in a plastic box. It was magical to finally hold him...though a little hard as he was still in some pain...I cried through the whole short hold.
After 3 weeks seeing him finally get his first 'taste' of my BM through the tube (intravenous TPN before that).
His eyes where fused shut when born and when he first opened his eyes to look at me on day 5 or 6 it was just magical.
The precious memory of their first BF ~ both at 32 weeks gestation (5 weeks actual for DD and 7 weeks actual for DS) such a special moment.
Being able to give them their firsts baths, when they went into an open cot and the awesome day when they where wireless and tube free and you knew you where close to home.
The small of the gel wtill takes me straight back to the NICU, watching prem things on TV leaves me upset and emotion.
The bestest day was the day was when we could pick up our precious babies and walk out of that hospital and not look back. (9 weeks for dd and 15 weeks for ds)
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks