I feel... weird.

[butterfly_warrior]

I feel a bit like my heart is torn in two right now.

Today is the second anniversary of my third angel baby, but I still remember the pain as though it were yesterday.

I feel sad... but at the same time I almost feel guilty for feeling sad as if that baby had been able to stay we wouldn't have Sam, and how can I wish Sam away?

I didn't keep track of due dates - too much pain from earlier losses. It really only hits me on anniversaries, and it just sucks that this anniversary is so hard to forget - being sandwiched between my mother's birthday and Australia Day (kind of explains why I always forget mum's birthday now, shame Australia Day isn't as easy to ignore).

I guess I also feel guilty as in all the flurry of arriving home with our premmie bub and trying to organise moving house, I completely forgot this angel's last anniversary.

So, I'm sorry, little angel - you are not forgotten.

But I also feel so strange as wishing it hadn't happened is wishing Sam away and he has brought so much joy to our lives.

BW

[Jakabella]

I completely understand! And my angel babys anniversary is early next month.
I have had those thoughts go through my mind a million times Hun. I think its only natural - we love our Earth babies but dont want to forget our angle bubs either.

Hugs hun.

Kate

[BekZ]

:hugs: Anniversaries are never easy. I always think about the what ifs too.

[mako]

BW

[Laney]

BW, I feel the same way. I can't imagine life without Grayson but I miss Parker and Shelby like mad. I would love to have all three of them with me. I am so glad to have Grayson though. I am a stronger woman and a better mother because of everything that I have been through.

[rufalina]

remembering your little angel today with you. xo