Mildez-my 3 boys have ADD so it has been a challenge with behaviour.
My eldest has ADD/ODD AND OCD.
My 2nd has mild ADD only effects his attention and concentration i honestly take my hat off to him he put's 110% into school because he finds it so hard with his ADD and it has paid off he is doing well.
My 3rd has ADHD and is hyper and struggles with concentration and comprehension.
But they do get better with age my boys all went to tutoring after school and all had regular visits with their behavioural specialist and pyscologists and i had to be really strict and out smart them to keep on top of there behaviour and it has paid off so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
They got it from their moron father.
Oh! i forgot to mention when DH's mum asked when he is getting the snip his reply was i'm not ready if sandra gets pregnant it's ment to be so if it happens it happens.
I was like ummm what about our genetic 1 in 4 chance of a bad outcome and he said we wont try to get pregnant but if it happens then so be it.
So looks like i will have to watch my cycle carefully and make sure DH withdraws or i could be back in the old thread
far out ferrals...thats a big decision within not actually making a decision. I am all for people having loads of babies but god doesnt he know what you went thru to get Ella, now the old saying 'it was worth every minute' is great fantastic wonderful in hind sight but really do you need to be caring for Ella and going thru all that cause DH says 'what will be will be'??
Dont get me wrong i am 100% behind you if you decide to go again, id be pleased to support you!
Ferrals my DD has had a range of diagnosis over the years ranging from ADD, ADHD and DD (developmentally delayed) I've been against any pharmacutical treatment but I think we might have to give it a go. Have a specialist appointment on the 21st of this month. She see's a counsellor but thats not going well. She lies through her teeth to the lady and last time told her how DH and I fight so much and she is really scared of what is going to happen to me and her. Thing is DH and I rarely fight and the few times we have there is definately no way she heard and DH is not violent or agressive what so ever. We don't raise our voices. She's told a number of other porky pies also. Says she wants to go stay with her Dad but here she flatly refuses to go and almost always comes home crying when she goes there and says she is never going again. Now she is threatening suicide if she doesn't get her own way. This has been going on about a week where she says I wont have to worry about her anymore as she will be dead and it will be over something stupid like me asking her to brush her hair or teeth. Its a big worry. I don't even like mentioning it as things are very bad. Thank God for my parents as they have been really great about it. DH parents on the other hand blame it on us. They have no understanding what so ever that sometimes things are outside your control. Like when there Son in Law was really depressed they told him to snap out of it. Anyway hopefully this new Dr can help as I'm at my wits end and I find myself praying everyday she hurries up and grows up. Its really sad as there is little enjoyment in been her mother anymore between the suicide threats and dodging flying objects. Its a very lonely road as I can't say I know anyone going through the same or similar thing with a child of her age. I've certainly heard of others but they are all very disfunctional (like into drugs and that sort of thing) DD has been this way right from the start but its gotton worse and worse the older she has gotton. I think other then mood stabilisers I've tried everything (from parenting courses, behavioural therapy, family therapy, councelling, to just ignoring daily activities like not showering, brushing teeth and nothing works) I'm just glad I have school to have a little break from it during the day but problem is the school rings 2-3times a week to come and get her. She isn't a dump child. There doesn't look like there is anything wrong with her and she is about average at school (in a tuitor english group but advanced in Maths) but its her lack of ability to control her emotions. She is laughing hysterically in one second to bawling her eyes out and throwing objects the next. I'm confident she will eventually be diagnosed with bipolar but right now there is no way I'll allow them to put a label on her although I know there is something bad going on inside her head and what ever it is she was born this way so please don't shoot me down. Thats why I don't talk about it as I'm sick of well wishes giving me that bad parenting line like its something I have done to create her like this. My parents went through something similar with my brothers which is why they are so good with DD. The thing is with them they got better with age where as DD just gets worse.
Ferrals we have been using the withdrawal method also. Its a little risky although when I was doing middy it was said to be the most common and very effective way of birth control but why its such a high failure rate is its not successful in men inexperienced in the bedroom so basically it ruled out alot of men. It said it all came down to the man knowing when to pull out. That along with me not cycling at the moment with the BF I know we are safe but I've told DH its not a forever solution unless he is prepared from an oopsie. Part of me would love an oppsie that would take all the stress out of ttc but with DD1 I think its a bad idea. I told DH I want him to go get the snip and its because whilst ever he doesn't I hold hope of having another baby and atleast if he did I can deal with it and get along with enjoying my babies without holding hope I am going to be doing it all again one day. I told him I can't have anything done to myself (like my remaining tube tied) as if it was my choice I wouldn't be making it final for me but if he doesn't want more then he should have it done so we can move on and enjoy what we have. DH doesn't want to be an old Dad so having another in 5-10yrs isn't an option.
Mildez-I didnt believe in ADD ect when i 1st had my son and i started to notice a few things that were not the norm and i just always thought other bad kids were due to bad parenting until my 5yr old told me one day mummy i want to get a hammer and hit a nail into my head so i will die i nearly died myself and asked him why and his reply was my brain wont stop its going to fast i just want it to stop.
That was when i researched until i couldnt research anymore and found DR mark selkowitz he is a behavioural specialist and i read his 1st book and it was like reading a book about my son what an eye opener i was not keen on medication but thought i would try anyway to cut a long story short WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT 80% inprovement in school work and he was calm and could actually have a conversation for the 1st time i went through all the testing and brain scans ect and still do with the 2 younger boys every 6mths very expensive and even though their behaviour is great they need it for concentration i asked them about it and all of them said when not on meds it's like being in the room listening from above but not really being there and and their mind is spinning to fast to focus on one thing my middle son describes it like being off with the fairies and you just cant pull your thoughts onto what you are suposed to be doing so they all would rather stay on their medication as my middle son says he feels normal on it so i am a believer if they are diagnoised correctly and treatment is of a benefit my eldest son still has ADD and OCD but is no longer on meds he can control most of his behaviours now he has learnt how to but still needs help with memory and attention to tasks that is why his job is through a disability network that keep an eye on him even though he has a high IQ and is normal per say he still has a disability with the ADD and really couldnt focus in an office job ect so is in factory work doing great earning good money.
My middle son is very smart and doing well but he needs meds to focus also and his brain scan shows he is almost grown out of ADD just has a little residule ADD left in the frontal lobes where my youngest is still showing signs of strong ADD with his brain scan and really struggles with comprehension and attention he is always off with the faries and a compulsive liar he cant help himself so that is something we are working on but at least he is being well behaved at school.
So dont dismiss medication all together sometimes you are doing more harm by not helping them i certainly changed my mind when i saw the results.
We co-sleep with our DD. She's so little and precious, and I couldn't bear to have her sleeping in a cold room by herself. We waited so long to have her here, I feel like we should enjoy her because she'll only be little for a short time. I always think that if anyone gives me a hard time for feeding or rocking her to sleep; it won't be like this forever, and I'll miss it when it's gone. So I am loving her babyhood.
She's been an absolute dream come true these last few days, super snuggly and smiley and oh-so-cute. Especially meal times. It's been three weeks since she started solids, but she is eating like a pro now! We had curry together for lunch the other day, she was slurping it off her spoon, and rubbing it everywhere, she was covered in yellow by the end of it. She had a go at the rice too, but not so keen on that. Avocado and cauliflower still truly the favourites.
She was a bit grizzly yesterday arvo, so I put her on my back in the Ergo. She fell asleep and I got heaps done in the kitchen. It was great.
6 months tomorrow! My big girl is half a year old. LOVE. She is the best thing in the world.
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so please don't shoot me down. Thats why I don't talk about it as I'm sick of well wishes giving me that bad parenting line like its something I have done to create her like this. My parents went through something similar with my brothers which is why they are so good with DD. The thing is with them they got better with age where as DD just gets worse. 
so basically it ruled out alot of men. It said it all came down to the man knowing when to pull out. That along with me not cycling at the moment with the BF I know we are safe but I've told DH its not a forever solution unless he is prepared from an oopsie. Part of me would love an oppsie that would take all the stress out of ttc but with DD1 I think its a bad idea. I told DH I want him to go get the snip and its because whilst ever he doesn't I hold hope of having another baby and atleast if he did I can deal with it and get along with enjoying my babies without holding hope I am going to be doing it all again one day. I told him I can't have anything done to myself (like my remaining tube tied) as if it was my choice I wouldn't be making it final for me but if he doesn't want more then he should have it done so we can move on and enjoy what we have. DH doesn't want to be an old Dad so having another in 5-10yrs isn't an option.
i nearly died myself and asked him why and his reply was my brain wont stop its going to fast i just want it to stop.
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