Parenting after Loss or Miscarriage ~ February 2011

Ferrals- Yay on dh having a job now! :) Do u think he will enjoy it more then securitying?
So.. is he going to get the snip do u think?? Ur just using the withdrawal method for now arent u..? Can u go on the pill??

Kit- Thanks for the advice on cloth nappies.. i dont feel as bad now hearing that u didnt use them for the first 12 weeks.. i really didnt want to give up on them altogether but i might just wait a bit longer till i start using them all the time. I so want to hear one of ur little songs! haha how cute! :) I saw on fb that ur mothers group didnt go very well, wen ppl say stuff like what are u gonna do when Sammy is 20.. reply with do u know any boys that age still sleeping with their mummys??! Hardly! Dont let anyone make u feel bad for doing what ur doing.. its their problems. We have to enjoy every minute of them being little! :) I am freaking out about Sienna getting a bit older (by that i mean about 3 months old) and having pressure from dhs family to put her in her own room. When she was first born and they were staying with us his mum was always saying she wanted to take Sienna for the night and just bring her in for feeds so she cld learn to be in her own basinnette (i was sleeping with her on me each night) and wait 3 hrs between feeds. There was no way i was going to let that happen. Thank goodness they dont live in this town.. altho they are visiting in a couple of weeks and staying with us so it shld be interesting! Oh and dh is going to be away so im gonna have to stand up for myself.. and sienna.. on my own! Anyway enough rambling.. sorry! :) Hope u and ur dh are getting over the flu and little Sammy boy hasnt got it.

Mildez- Did u get the test results?? I hope little J is doing better xx

BW- Good to hear Sam is doing a bit better, i hope he keeps improving. I also hope u and ur dh are feeling a bit better soon too.. hopefully u dont need to take the ABs. Gosh u do have a busy schedule with all these appointments!

Forshelby- I know what u mean about ur dp not wanting to be too old to have babies, my dh feels like hes too old for kids now.. and hes only 28! He always wanted them young..like at the age of 20. Im so glad he didnt have them then.. i think hes happy now he didnt either!

Audax- Wow one disposable since Eleanor was born? ur good!! :) The nappies u sent are great but the 3x fitteds dont fit her yet.. the leg holes are too big, we used the petite one a few times but now its too small.. it was very cute on tho! Yesterday I used the 2 magicalls and loved them! They were a great fit! Only thing is as soon as she did a wee in the beigey coloured one i cld smell it, not an actual wee smell but a damp kinda yucky smell. Is this normal for cloth or does it need to be soaked a bit more and sunned?? I actually got all excited again to use cloth and went on the Baby Beehind website and bought 7 more nappies! I bought 2 of the AIO velcros (are these ok??) they were on sale for $14 each and if u buy 2, u get third free so thats what i did, 2 of the fitteds plus 1 free (i am kinda hoping the legs are a little stretched on the ones i have already and thats why there not fitting too well.. hopefully these newer ones are a better fit til her legs get a bit chunky and she can fit in the ones i already have!) and 1 of the MagicAlls. Oh and i also got another nappy cover, thinking now tho i shld have bought a couple more nappy covers but oh well. My MIL also gave me about 12 terry nappies like the triple J one u sent..that shape. Except they are too big on her legs too..they are the ones i had on her when we had the poo explosions! Probly if i used a cover on them it wldnt be too bad tho. The magicalls definitely hold the poo in ive realised which is great.. i really think they are going to be my favourite!
Anyway i have just realised i really shld have written this in a pm to u or atleast in the cloth nappy section.. sorry! I didnt think i was going to ramble on for so long about it all!

Hi Laney!

AFM- I am going really well with Sienna on my own. She has been the perfect little baby so far! Thank goodness! She is sleeping really well during the days and at night times. She is feeding every 2-3 hrs day and night but thats ok cos i dont have much else to do anyway! With dh away i am finding i dont even really need to clean up the house very often.. its very obvious who makes all the mess around here! :) I swear im spending more time on BB and fb now then before when i was pregnant.. how does that work??! Im sure that will change soon enough tho as she gets more demanding!

She had a pretty big vomit last night just before we were going to go to bed.. poor little thing, it covered us both. I was just going to change her and put myself in a new nightie but thought a lovely warm bath first sounded pretty good.. and it was! She laid there smiling and making noises the whole time, so beautiful and special :)

Anyway better go, expecting her to wake up any second for a feed then we're off to bed!

Nitey nite xxx

Ferrals - Haha, no I'm not suggesting he's old at 34, but he doesn't want to be in his 50s or 60s still with kidlets living at home.

Loops - Hi! Thankyou for your well wishes :)

Audax - I do remember when you were 'the pregnantest'.... we both had a bit of a rough time being post-dates, I think! Axel was born at 11 days 'late'. The floods must have been ummm, challenging with a newborn! You poor thing. Good work using the cloth nappies. I wanted to, but omigod I would struggle so much dealing with all that mess as well as everything else. I hope the conjunctivitis (or con-CHUNK-tivitis as I fondly nicknamed it once upon a time) is gone by the time you're reading this :)

Mildez - Wow, becoming a dad at 73? That's crazy!

Laney - Hope you don't mind us attacking your thread, lol...

BW - Gosh I don't envy your specialist co-ordinating antics. Blech! I get frustrated with all the extra appointments I've had to go to, I don't know how you do it on an ongoing basis. I hope your cold disappears pronto!

Kit - Not you too, everyone is getting sick! :hug: Feel better soon

Reet - Lol, your DH amuses me. Old at 28? Doubt it hehe. I'm so glad you're doing well with Sienna while he's away. Sounds like she's got a good feeding routine going there, pity about the broken sleep though huh? I struggled a lot with the 3hrly feedings mostly because Axel would sometimes scream the entire time until he was due for the next one. It was pretty rough! Nice work turning a yucky vomit situation into a lovely bonding opportunity with the bath, too. Very cute!

AFM - Tonight is my 'night off'. That means I get to sleep for maybe 8hrs solid while DP wrestles with Axel during the night. Yay for that! Although sometimes I find it hard to 'switch off' and ignore the crying. I feel like I should be getting up and the guilt kicks in bigtime. Lucky for me my body is always so tired it overtakes the mind and I stay in bed, lol. In other less interesting news, my stupid body is doing strange things.... (Warning, TMI upcoming)..... AF left the building a week ago, and it seems she's back again. Very confusing. I'm assuming my hormones must be a bit out of whack and it's taking a while to stabilize. DP thinks she's making up for the 10 or so months I had off... haha. I hope not!

Axel is sitting on my shoulders being bounced by DP as I type this..................... lmao! He just lifted him off me and I noticed little mister didn't have any pants on. :redface: Dangit, daddy!

Forshelby-doodle on the back of the neck lol so cute lucky he didnt pee on you or worse.

Reet-cant use the pill never have been able to so we use withdrawal method until DH decides what he want's i think he want's one more :o i dont i am done but he can always dream lol.

Audax-my step daughter has shocking dermatitis at the back of her neck her mother (the moron) has left it for so long she never made E wash her hair so she had dirty hair with cradle cap build up and E scratched all the time until it is now full of scabs and is itchy so i went and brought pinetarsal it helps with the itch and helps heal the sores and gets rid of the craddle cap NOW! just to get her mother to make her wash her hair every day.

AFM-I have been busy spent the day in sydney doing all the factory outlets and visiting DH's step sister and his neice who had a baby at 17 the day before Ella was born what a big bub he was born 4.9kgs and is black as black can be but so cute Ella hated the in and out the car trips all day so she played up when we trying to get her to sleep at their house she wanted her own bed as soon as we got home and put her to bed she was out like a light.

Anyway have another day of shopping and getting stepdaughters hair cut to a bob above the shoulders ooooh! wont her mother hate that!

Ella had some farex tonight i am so sad she actually had no problems swallowing it and there was no sign of her reflex with her tongue to push it out she has been real windy from sucking air with her bottles we can hear her doing it the cyst under her tongue is causing problems so the doctor said try farex with her bottles until we get the growth removed and my baby had no problems taking it i didnt want to but DH said we will just try it.
So now what do i keep it up we see the surgeon on thursday she is 3 months on friday i started the boys at 4mths i just feel guilty now even though Ella is happy and sound asleep.

Heeelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Anyone out there.

Ok so it seems i am on my own so i will tell you how my weekend went.

DH and i went to sydney to catch up with friends and family and to do some BDay shopping for my son who is 18 on saturday we got some fab bargins here is what we got him as he will now be clubbing/nite club age he needs some better going out clothes
$140 quicksilver jacket for $70.
$100 quicksilver jeans for $50
$140 DC shoes for $60
$60 quicksilver shirt for $30
$60 Tapout shirt for $27
$40 billabong belt $10
$20x 3pkt of quicksilver socks for $15
$60 ripcurl back pack for work for $20
So $620 worth of really nice stuff all for about $250 and i got DH a pair of Billabong jeans for $40 and me a Roxy jacket for $30.
I LOVE DFO FACTORY OUTLETS.

And the other thing i did on the weekend was de-nit my stepdaughter you would not believe the state of her head she came to us on friday afternoon for her normal fortnightly visit she was scratching and had sore's and scabs all over the back of her neck i said what is all that and she says mum has said i am allergic to shampoo and she has sent some gloves and tape to put on my hands at night to stop me scratching and some detol cream to put on the sores :o i said did mum check you for nits she said yes so i txt her mum and asked she said yes on the thursday before she came so i said ok no worries anyway E (i will call her) was scratching and scratching and her hair just looked filthy so i said go have a shower and use my organic stuff it is chemical free it will help your scalp but before you do let me have a look.
WELLLLL HOLY F#CK!!!!!!!!!!! i took her hair out of the band and parted it and there was friggen nits running everywhere i was horrified i was nearly sick i called DH (her dad) and he was shocked so i jumped in the car and went and brought some sensitive organic nit solution i couldnt use the normal stuff it would have burnt her head and i got some pinetarsal for the sores and scabs and some organic dry hair shampoo and conditioner and then spent the next 3 hours YES! 3 hour combing nits out of her hair they were even falling on the floor as i was combing her hair it was the most disgusting thing i have seen her poor scalp is covered in sores from the nit bites and she has patches of missing hair where she has scratched so much the poor little thing so after i got all the nits out i washed her hair and soaked her head in pinetarsal to stop the itch and help the sores heal then i got on the phone and blasted her mother and her excuse was.
Well i checked and didnt see any and i said well they have been there for weeks for her head to look like that and there is adult nits and babies and her head is full of eggs and then E tells me mum knew i had nits she has been using teatree cream to try and get rid of them and told me not to tell anyone at school:o WTF!!! tea tree cream that wont do a dam thing so i blast her mother some more and she says.
Well i am not paying that much for organic stuff and nit stuff i cant afford it if her scalp is so bad its her fault from scratching she buys E $1.90 shampoo thats all she will spend and E is only allowed to wash her hair every 3rd day so it lasts longer OMG!!! so i blast the mother some more and tell her i have spent $50 just on nit sh#t and speacial shampoo and conditioner plus the pinetarsal to try to fix her head and i said the her mother i will send it all home with E for you to use on HER head not your own and she needs her hair tied up and plated every day and if she comes back to us next fortnight and you have done nothing to keep the treatment up i will call doc's and show them all the photo's i have taken of her head and the nits all over the bathtowel, floor and in her hair.
What a penny pinching cheapskate slack lazy mother that poor little girl would have been so uncomfortable all that time so i hope she does what i have said and next time E comes over i am getting her hair cut as her mother wont pay for a hair cut.

OMG Ferrals that is terrible about your step daughters hair. What a B of a mother. That is just plain neglect. How old is she again? Sounds like you got a bargain at DFO. I went there a few months ago and didn't find a thing.

BBL J is crying.

She is 10 in August but is very young for her age her mother babies her.

Reet I don't have J's results. Went to my GP on the weekend to get them and she tried to give me the old results and insisted they were negative and refused to call the hospital for the results. So I don't know but I am confident it mustn't be whooping cough as every Tom, **** and Harry would have let me know by now. When DD had it 2years ago I had multiple calls in a matter of an hour of the results been available. I think because its a notifiable disease I had population health, Dr's the nurses and pathology all call one after another to make sure DD was getting treatment and we were staying away from the community. If J had it I'm sure I would definately know by now. I do wish I knew if she had the RSV or Rhino virus.

Ferrals I wish you were my DD's step mother. Your more then welcome to have her hair cut to a bob. She is refusing but wont brush it. I so want to just snip it of. Its long and very very thick but she is refusing to have it cut but can't look after it.

So there is only a year between my eldest and her. I am really struggling with that age. Give me triplet newborns over a 10yr old girl anyday. Well my 10yr old. They sound the same. My DD is very young for her age and I don't baby her. She is very immature but I think its because she wants to be treated like her sister who is 4. Its ridiculous she has crying fits and agressive tantrums throwing things as she isn't treated like her sister. She would seriously let me wipe her bum and be happy about it. Vent over.

Mildez-lol that is so funny (sorry i know not for you) E is like that because her mum is nuts she still buys E Hi five and dora the explora undies in size 5-6 she is in year 4 at school and i can tell she is embarrassed by the way her mother is with her and you can hear it in her ph convos with her the attitude comes out where with us we dont ever see it but i am pretty strict as is DH and i wont treat her differently then my boys and i think she really likes that i buy her clothes appropiate for her age and will take the time to brush and plait her hair ect and show her how to do things she should be doing for her age.

She is a very clingy needy little girl and can drive me batty with asking to help do housework ALL THE TIME she just wants to be with me 24/7 and i need room to breath but god love her she is a good girl just doesnt know how to play or amuse herself but i am pushing her to be a little bit more independent getting her to wash her hair every night here at our house and keeping her room clean and showing her how to dress nicely so maybe thats why she loves me so much her mother has no dress sense and really wont spend money on E unless its on sale she even gave E 6 pairs of shoes for xmass all bigger sizes so they wont fit for years but they were on sale so what a great xmas present for a 9 year old.

God i could go on here is another example we brought E a DS with games and she is not allowed to take the things from our house home with her otherwise they will never come back anyway her mum say oh i will get you one when i go to bali ( yep she goes on holiday and dumps E with her mum) anyway she comes back and says they were not on sale so i will get you one for your BDay when her Bday comes it was oh i couldnt get one in the colour you want (bullsh#t) so it's wait until xmas then xmass comes and E comes to our house and i said did you get you DS from your mum and E says mum cant find it she brought it and when we moved house it got packed away so she cant find it and i have to wait until she unpacks everything OMG! you have got to be kidding so anyway when the new DSI came in her mum got a 2nd hand old DS for her with no games so the next birthday she promises E some games but again they are packed away when they moved and she couldnt find them it took 4 months before E got some 2nd hand baby sh#tty games for the DS she had sitting in her room.
NOW! if she had 6 kids and was single on the pension i would give her some slack but she works full time and goes away with her boyfriends (yes boyfriends not 1 but 3) all the time and E is getting bare essentials and sales only and $1.90 shampoo which has to last a month:o and is an only child should i go on i could be here all day.

I could start also Ferrals on DD's biofather. The one who went 8yrs without seeing her. I stopped sending DDs things with her when he insisted he had to buy her clothes as I didn't send her any which was a load of bull. She has one outfit in summer and winter each and one pair of undies at her Dads. The most scabby clothes you can imagine. Her summer outfit is a dress that looks like one of the $6 beach dresses from Big W with no shape what so ever.. It looks like a wheat bag with a head hole. I could sew something nicer myself and I don't sew. He is too occupied with his 18yr old gf (his 31) to even see DD now which suits me but I have another mediation thing coming up over it.

Anyway about starting Ella on solids. I gave J a taste of pumpkin yesterday. When I said taste it was only enough to taste not even enough to swollow. Pretty cute she just kept poking her tounge out like she was licking it. It was cute. DD2 started solids at 3months after she got stuck into a pear that fell out of the shopping bag into her pram. She had almost devoured it when I found her and she didn't look back after then. But DD2 is a huge eater. She was 8.5kilos at 3months (only 3.5kilos born) she has never stopped growing or eating. At just 4 she is 115cm and 21kilos. At 18months she was the same height and weight as DD1 was when she was 4. DD1 started solid at 8months as she hated them. I tried her on and off since 5months but she just wasn't interested. Although J is only 10weeks old I'm going to continue to give her a taste of food but not enough for her to need to swollow just a lick. I chipped DH for giving her a lick of icing. Just abit sweet. Poor bub she might end up diabetic. Do you give Ella the plain rice cereal? I should take notice next time I'm in the super market what is available. I'll be making most of my own but I'll buy those boxes of flavoured cereal when she gets older.

Yeah you think with 1 child you would care for them better. My kids miss out on things I wish I could get them but half of that is so they dont expect everything. I want them to appreciate what they do get and I tell you neither of them do. Ok DD2 is only 4 so I get that but my eldest should appreciate her belongings more then she does. There will be no brand names (other then her school bag) until she can actually look after her things. I've lost count of how many shoes of hers have been left out in the rain or left for the dog to chew as she is to lazy to go get them.

Ferrals do your younger boys get many or any hand me downs from the oldest brother? DD2 gets some hand me downs but not many but J so far hasn't needed anything of her own as I have it all from DD2. I don't want her to miss out when she is older and feel everything she gets is 2nd hand but at the same time what a waste if there not used. What do others do? At this stage J looks like she is in brand new clothing in perfect condition and has more things then she could wear. Then when she is older I'll be able to afford it but then it seems so wasteful not giving her DD1&2s things.

Hi Ladies! My ban didnt work, the notifications in my emails have been haunting me! hehe. I havent hd time to read up yet, hope you are all well. Boy have i got a lot done since my computer ban! Will be back next week when i have finished everything on my list!

Yes i got the plain rice cereal she loves it and even opens her mouth when she see's the spoon she only has about 1 teaspoon mixed with a bit of formula after her bottle which she never finishes only has about 140-160mls but she is a porker.

BBL Ella wants a feed

Mildez-they did when they were younger now they are such different sizes my 18 year old is a size mens 34 my 15 year old is a mens 32 and he is real skinny and my 13 year old is also a mens 30-32 he is real tall and being boys their clothes get trashed so cant hand any down now.
The way i see it if the clothes are still in good nick and look nice hand em down i had my favourites that i wanted to keep but after the 3rd boy they looked ratty so had to bin them.
I also buy brand name for good going out clothes only and if i find them on special i will buy them some extras other wise Jay Jays is great for teeage boys.
I do buy expensive DC shoes only because they last the whole year i was sick of buy 2-3 pairs and i get the brand name school bags on sale i refuse to pay full price so my kids are well dresses but they dont need to know their mother is a bargin hunter and haggler lol.
I do spoil them but i also make them work for it so they appreciate what they have and if they give me any grief they lose it so they no mum means it they all have set chores and i expect them to do as i say when i say and if they back chat they lose their laptops or PS3 or we turn the broadband internet off for the night which they hate so i really dont have any trouble from them so far.

Your ex sound's like a cheapskate too i love the remark about the wheat bag with the hole in it lol.

Hi tegam.

I am in the middle of ironing washing and bathrooms i just have a breather every now and then so back to ironing talk later ladies

Thats too cute Ferrals Ella opening her mouth for more at that age. Are you finding it helps with her reflux?Are you still using the angelcare movement monitor? I've been using ours religiously except during the day as J follows me around in the pram or bouncer. When do you plan on not using it anymore? I'm thinking like 12months. Initially it ****ed me off but now I can't sleep without hearing the beeps. I'm trying to convince myself to put her in her cot in another few months which is in another room. I've never done that before but I think I should seeing as J sleeps fairly well and the $1350 cot we brought 4yrs ago still hasn't been used

Ferrals - What exactly is farex? Your poor DSD with all those nits.... that must have been awful for her. When you described the missing bits of hair and scabs it reminded me of my poor kitty when she gets a flea bite. She's allergic so she just scratches herself to pieces and rips all her fur out..... oh it's awful enough seeing my cat like that. How could her mother allow her to get so bad??? It's unimaginable! I spent $240 in 3 months to get my cat well again, because she's part of our family and one of my babies! Ughhh I'm disgusted in that woman right now. You poor thing having to fix her mess. :hug: IKWYM about the clinginess too, my little niece is a bit like that with me. She loves me to braid her hair for her, and always wants to cuddle up and be right on top of me lol. It does drive me a bit batty sometimes but like your DSD she's a good girl and I love her. It sounds like you're exactly what E needs right now. A solid mother figure, and someone who cares! She'll come to YOU when she has a secret, or a problem, and that's the best position to be in. The more I hear about her mother, the more I wonder what your DH ever saw in her. I'm sure you've had the same thought process though..... Hooray for the bargains you got at DFO though, I got some new mummy clothes at the Brissie one when Axel was about a week old. Best fun ever!

Mildez - Sounds like you've got your hands full there hun. I get told all the time daughters are more difficult than sons. I wonder sometimes if that's true. Good luck with the battle over the haircut hehe. Tough one! How cute letting little J taste the pumpkin.. awww. Oh and I had to laugh at the incident with the pear... lmao!

Tegam - lol, you're doing well to stay away this long!

AFM - Once again Axel cries when it's time to update on me. LOL. So, another quickie. I'm a bit irritated at SIL after visiting them last night. Her 9y.o daughter was cuddling Axel a lot of the time I was there (as usual) and as we left she says to her: Oh, A, don't go outside to say goodbye it's too cold and you were up all night last night coughing and sneezing you're probably getting sick.

:o GREAT! Thanks for letting me know AFTER I let her hold and kiss and cuddle my baby! All I can say is fudgebucket. I hope my little man doesn't get sick.

Thats terrible forshelby that your SIL could allow her daughter to potentially spread the germs. My sister is like that but I was very cruel and said she can't come with her son as its not worth risking my kids getting sick when J is so little. Although J doesn't have whooping cough and is getting better my sister doesn't know that PMSL. Its been my secret to keeping her away with her son. Maybe you need to make a lie and say Axel has whooping cough or Gastro or something.

Forshelby God help me if all my daughters are like my eldest. I do feel very sorry for my eldest. She hasn't had the easiest of lives with the other side of the family F with her head when she is at such a vulnerable age. They tell her she isn't really apart of our family as now its mum with her knew husband and her HALF sisters. Her whole other family are horrible people. Told her she is ugly just like her mother because she has freakles just like her mother blabla bla. I just wish she would tell them to go jump. She doesn't have a problem telling me where to go. She is scared of them. Can't wait until she gets to an age where she tells them where to go as she wont tolerate what they say to her. They wont know what hits them especially if she does her lolly and smashes there furniture or throws something through a window (she smashed her door of the hinges in her room, smashed a few of her things throwing them at me so I can't wait until the day that she does it to something of theirs. They wil send her home quick smart.

Mildez - That's just horrible to say those things to a child........ there's got to be something deeply wrong with them to do that. I'm shocked! Poor little sweetheart. Hopefully one day she'll open up a can of whoopage on them........... :(

Yeah forshelby they are horrible people. Well its DD's grandma thats horrible and she fuels everyone else in the family. She is the undoing of the whole family. Can't believe one of them (there are heaps) haven't put her in her place. But then she looks after her own. She tried to help ex get out of child support and all it did was give him a massive debt. If she had half a heart she would have wanted him to help raise her but nope. Told him to run and said he didn't owe DD anything and I can provide everything for her seeing as my family is rich. Mmmm its not the point (not that my family are just are incomparion to her) Atleast I got 8yrs of peace from him so I should thank her for that. Can't wait until DD give it to them as I know with her behavioural problems its only a matter of time and they wont know what hit them. (Probably a fan or book, pair of shoes or saucepan PMSL) It will be the one time I don't care that DD has some major anger management/behavioural problems.

Mildez-actually yes i didnt give her any zantac last night and she slept fine until 3:30am so this morning i gave her half the dose and i will slowy wean her off it.
And i use our angel care religously too even during the day as ella sleeps in her cot she lets me know when she has had enough of the bouncer and wants her bed i actually just finished vaccuming and mopping the floors and she just sat there and watched me.
And i will proberbly stop when she using it when she goes into a bed but will proberbly cut down to only night time use when she is getting close to 1yr old.

ARE YOU SERIOUS! you have not used the cot at all tell me how do you and your DH get noisy in the bedroom with a baby that is my domain i need my lovin so it's a kid free zone after 8 weeks old unless they are sick.
And you sound like you have your hands full with your oldest daughter i have 3 ADD boys and thought they were a handful when they were younger but good lord sounds like she has a shocking temper!

Forshelby-farex is just rice cereal its very fine and plain but a good 1st solid to introduce babies ella loves it.
And i asked my DH what the hell he was thinking marrying her and he said god only knows he was young and he didnt know she was like that as they never lived together before they got married she lived with her mum and he use to stay there so her mum did all the cleaning ect it wasnt until they got married and brought a house that they moved in together and he found out she was a dirty lazy pig like i said many many post's back i dont condone cheating but now i know why DH did and why he worked away from home and only came home to her on weekends poor man he cant get enough of me and we have never had a night apart except for when i have been in hospital.

And sick people pee me off that dont consider new babies if i see or hear a cough or sneeze i tell them to stay away.

Ella is now makeing the cutest noises to talk to us she holds her dummy with her hand in her mouth and coo's away so cute.

Mildez-my 3 boys have ADD so it has been a challenge with behaviour.

My eldest has ADD/ODD AND OCD.
My 2nd has mild ADD only effects his attention and concentration i honestly take my hat off to him he put's 110% into school because he finds it so hard with his ADD and it has paid off he is doing well.
My 3rd has ADHD and is hyper and struggles with concentration and comprehension.
But they do get better with age my boys all went to tutoring after school and all had regular visits with their behavioural specialist and pyscologists and i had to be really strict and out smart them to keep on top of there behaviour and it has paid off so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
They got it from their moron father.

Oh! i forgot to mention when DH's mum asked when he is getting the snip his reply was i'm not ready if sandra gets pregnant it's ment to be so if it happens it happens.
I was like ummm what about our genetic 1 in 4 chance of a bad outcome and he said we wont try to get pregnant but if it happens then so be it.
So looks like i will have to watch my cycle carefully and make sure DH withdraws or i could be back in the old thread:rolleyes:

far out ferrals...thats a big decision within not actually making a decision. I am all for people having loads of babies but god doesnt he know what you went thru to get Ella, now the old saying 'it was worth every minute' is great fantastic wonderful in hind sight but really do you need to be caring for Ella and going thru all that cause DH says 'what will be will be'??

Dont get me wrong i am 100% behind you if you decide to go again, id be pleased to support you!

You ly really need to decide what you want huni!

My heart says no more i will have to have a talk to DH he will understand i hope.

I wrote a huge post yesterday and lost it :wall:

Ferrals my DD has had a range of diagnosis over the years ranging from ADD, ADHD and DD (developmentally delayed) I've been against any pharmacutical treatment but I think we might have to give it a go. Have a specialist appointment on the 21st of this month. She see's a counsellor but thats not going well. She lies through her teeth to the lady and last time told her how DH and I fight so much and she is really scared of what is going to happen to me and her. Thing is DH and I rarely fight and the few times we have there is definately no way she heard and DH is not violent or agressive what so ever. We don't raise our voices. She's told a number of other porky pies also. Says she wants to go stay with her Dad but here she flatly refuses to go and almost always comes home crying when she goes there and says she is never going again. Now she is threatening suicide if she doesn't get her own way. This has been going on about a week where she says I wont have to worry about her anymore as she will be dead and it will be over something stupid like me asking her to brush her hair or teeth. Its a big worry. I don't even like mentioning it as things are very bad. Thank God for my parents as they have been really great about it. DH parents on the other hand blame it on us. They have no understanding what so ever that sometimes things are outside your control. Like when there Son in Law was really depressed they told him to snap out of it. Anyway hopefully this new Dr can help as I'm at my wits end and I find myself praying everyday she hurries up and grows up. Its really sad as there is little enjoyment in been her mother anymore between the suicide threats and dodging flying objects. Its a very lonely road as I can't say I know anyone going through the same or similar thing with a child of her age. I've certainly heard of others but they are all very disfunctional (like into drugs and that sort of thing) DD has been this way right from the start but its gotton worse and worse the older she has gotton. I think other then mood stabilisers I've tried everything (from parenting courses, behavioural therapy, family therapy, councelling, to just ignoring daily activities like not showering, brushing teeth and nothing works) I'm just glad I have school to have a little break from it during the day but problem is the school rings 2-3times a week to come and get her. She isn't a dump child. There doesn't look like there is anything wrong with her and she is about average at school (in a tuitor english group but advanced in Maths) but its her lack of ability to control her emotions. She is laughing hysterically in one second to bawling her eyes out and throwing objects the next. I'm confident she will eventually be diagnosed with bipolar but right now there is no way I'll allow them to put a label on her although I know there is something bad going on inside her head and what ever it is she was born this way :cry: so please don't shoot me down. Thats why I don't talk about it as I'm sick of well wishes giving me that bad parenting line like its something I have done to create her like this. My parents went through something similar with my brothers which is why they are so good with DD. The thing is with them they got better with age where as DD just gets worse.

Ferrals we have been using the withdrawal method also. Its a little risky although when I was doing middy it was said to be the most common and very effective way of birth control but why its such a high failure rate is its not successful in men inexperienced in the bedroom :lol: so basically it ruled out alot of men. It said it all came down to the man knowing when to pull out. That along with me not cycling at the moment with the BF I know we are safe but I've told DH its not a forever solution unless he is prepared from an oopsie. Part of me would love an oppsie that would take all the stress out of ttc but with DD1 I think its a bad idea. I told DH I want him to go get the snip and its because whilst ever he doesn't I hold hope of having another baby and atleast if he did I can deal with it and get along with enjoying my babies without holding hope I am going to be doing it all again one day. I told him I can't have anything done to myself (like my remaining tube tied) as if it was my choice I wouldn't be making it final for me but if he doesn't want more then he should have it done so we can move on and enjoy what we have. DH doesn't want to be an old Dad so having another in 5-10yrs isn't an option.

Mildez-I didnt believe in ADD ect when i 1st had my son and i started to notice a few things that were not the norm and i just always thought other bad kids were due to bad parenting until my 5yr old told me one day mummy i want to get a hammer and hit a nail into my head so i will die :o i nearly died myself and asked him why and his reply was my brain wont stop its going to fast i just want it to stop.
That was when i researched until i couldnt research anymore and found DR mark selkowitz he is a behavioural specialist and i read his 1st book and it was like reading a book about my son what an eye opener i was not keen on medication but thought i would try anyway to cut a long story short WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT 80% inprovement in school work and he was calm and could actually have a conversation for the 1st time i went through all the testing and brain scans ect and still do with the 2 younger boys every 6mths very expensive and even though their behaviour is great they need it for concentration i asked them about it and all of them said when not on meds it's like being in the room listening from above but not really being there and and their mind is spinning to fast to focus on one thing my middle son describes it like being off with the fairies and you just cant pull your thoughts onto what you are suposed to be doing so they all would rather stay on their medication as my middle son says he feels normal on it so i am a believer if they are diagnoised correctly and treatment is of a benefit my eldest son still has ADD and OCD but is no longer on meds he can control most of his behaviours now he has learnt how to but still needs help with memory and attention to tasks that is why his job is through a disability network that keep an eye on him even though he has a high IQ and is normal per say he still has a disability with the ADD and really couldnt focus in an office job ect so is in factory work doing great earning good money.
My middle son is very smart and doing well but he needs meds to focus also and his brain scan shows he is almost grown out of ADD just has a little residule ADD left in the frontal lobes where my youngest is still showing signs of strong ADD with his brain scan and really struggles with comprehension and attention he is always off with the faries and a compulsive liar he cant help himself so that is something we are working on but at least he is being well behaved at school.
So dont dismiss medication all together sometimes you are doing more harm by not helping them i certainly changed my mind when i saw the results.

We co-sleep with our DD. She's so little and precious, and I couldn't bear to have her sleeping in a cold room by herself. We waited so long to have her here, I feel like we should enjoy her because she'll only be little for a short time. I always think that if anyone gives me a hard time for feeding or rocking her to sleep; it won't be like this forever, and I'll miss it when it's gone. So I am loving her babyhood.

She's been an absolute dream come true these last few days, super snuggly and smiley and oh-so-cute. Especially meal times. It's been three weeks since she started solids, but she is eating like a pro now! We had curry together for lunch the other day, she was slurping it off her spoon, and rubbing it everywhere, she was covered in yellow by the end of it. She had a go at the rice too, but not so keen on that. Avocado and cauliflower still truly the favourites.

She was a bit grizzly yesterday arvo, so I put her on my back in the Ergo. She fell asleep and I got heaps done in the kitchen. It was great.

6 months tomorrow! My big girl is half a year old. LOVE. She is the best thing in the world.

Had a good talk to DH he would like to have one more so wont get the snip in case i change my mind:rolleyes: now what i have to watch my cycle like a hawk so i know when to make him withdraw

LOL, ferrals you know the Withdraw method is totally useless, now be carefull!!!

Audax i'm with you on the co-sleeping, our little princess is still in the bassinette in our room, and when she wakes up a little early for her 7am feed, she comed to bed with me!!! My FAVORITE mornings!! Usually getting woken with her finger poking me in the eye or getting grabbed on the nose!

Mildez, Huggs to you, you are a strong woman and have gone through so much, I hope that this upcomming app will bring some light into your daughters life in the future. It's great your parents are supportive with you. I felt a lot of emotions reading your post, we all have these tiny little angel babies, and have no idea what lays ahead for their future, totally out of our control and scares me.

Tegam..... LOL..... XXXXX what Ban ;>

Girls my little princess has 2 eye teeth bulging at the seems....we have had a rough few days let me tell you. I went to the chemist today and got some ointment to put on her top gums, but she is drooling so much I don't think it will do anything.
Last night Alexis had a feed at 1230am, I then couldn't get her to take my boob until 0930am, then struggled with her at 3pm, have been totally besides myself.
So sorry I haven't been up for posting, when I get a chance to myself last couple of days I tear around the house doing 3hrs of housework in 15minutes!!
This happened last month when I got my period back for the first time, but it's only day....20....I think...how bad is that, after 5yrs of counting, now I aren't sure....nowhere near due for AF anyway.

Ferrals DH and I have decided that if anything happens naturally for us in the next year then we will be on tender hooks with the NKCell problem, but if nothing happened by Jan then we are Thawing ahead again!!!

Have a nice night ladies, I'm off now XX

Hello again,

Well we finally have a diagnosis for baby DD. She has pnuemonia. I'm so pee'd with them but never mind. Hopefully we can get her fixed. They tested her for whooping cough for the 3rd time and said they still aren't convinced its not whooping cough. They said her symptoms are classic for it. I took her to ED last night as her GP is refusing to see her again as I've been back so many times. I stupid RN said oh she is clearly your first (nope cow she is my 3rd) she treated me like a panicking no nothing and then the Dr had a go at me and said because I keep coming back he will do a chest XRAY to make me happy. And guess what a cloudy lung. So thats when they decided she should be there idiots. Completel drove me mental. So for 5weeks I have been watching my bub struggle and get worse and I'm not happy Jan. Then they had 2 paeds come and see her and the consultant thought she should stay in but I said I'd prefer to take her home if she didn't see a problem with that. So we came home at 11pm last night and I go and see her daily in her clinic. She is awesome. I'm so glad we finally have an answer and hopefully the antibiotics kick in soon and she is on the mend. My poor baby.

BBL have a very unpleasant meeting with DD's bio father. Hopefully something good comes of it but I doubt it. Plus I hopefully pick up my kids professional photos. I'm so excited. I hope they turn out decent. BBL for personals after this stupid mediation thing. Can't even keen J at home as its been 8months trying to get him to this meeting so I can't cancel now although I so want to.

Murrycod-yeah so i have heard it has always worked for me my man times it really well and i know when my eggs pop but now i know hubby would be happy for one more i dont think i will be so blahsay about it but i have used withdrawal method my whole adult life but i hate using that method it spoils the mood and after DH and i trying to get pregnant and then being pregnant we havnt had to worry for 2 years and i really enjoyed the not withdrawing if you know what i mean:lol:.

I never had a problem with teething with the 3 boys i was so lucky they were perfect no fuss babies but i have a feeling i am going to get the works with Ella she seems so tempremental and fussy i can just see her being a real shocker with teeth.

And are you talking this janurary for embie thawing?

Mildez-glad you have a diagnoisis even though it was a long time coming i hope they can help get her better real quick.
My dean had pnuemonia when he was 18mths old he was a croupy athsma sickly bub and was always on steriods and nebulisers it was on going every winter until we moved into a brick house with no sign of damp so now anyhouse we live in has to be brick and no signs of dampness as he at 18 will still get very sick with chest colds and ear infections but if stay away from mould mildew and damp he is fine.

Audax-good for you each to their own i say my babies are precious to and Ella even more so with what we went through to have her it's just something i can not do i cant sleep if they are even in the room with me i lasted 8-10 weeks with all my kids and struggled to sleep with all their noises so i had to put them in their own rooms but like i said in an earlier post i make up for it during the day just mummy daughter time lots and lots of cuddles and kisses.
And 6 months god it has gone so quick Ella is 3 months tomorrow.

:shakehead:Oh Mildez, hope she getts better real soon X

Ferrals, yeah Jan 2012. Bring it on WOOOOT the pressures off next time round!

Murrycod-sooooooooooooooooooooooo excited for you i myself told DH last night forget it i am even selling our co co cradle Ella is my princess girl and my last.

Mildez-how's J?

Hi to everyone hope all is well.

Ferrals J is definately no better. If anything she is a little worse. There is definately no signs of improvement yet. I took the video footage of her coughing to the paed yesterday and she said she is sure she has pertussis which has caused the pneumonia which has now spread from the lower left lung up to the right upper lung also. She reckons the reflux has nothing to do with it. She also said whooping cough is hard to diagnoses and her negative NPA results don't mean she doesn't have whooping cough. I sat up to midnight crying my eyes out as I'm so worried about her and its not like she is getting better and the ab's aren't going to fix her then just as I did drift of J woke something I was happy about as she sleeps way to much but then I had to keep her in bed with me which I do love but with no monitoring she was croking away so I stayed awake worried she would stop breathing. A friend of a friends (who I know but not well and was a ltttcer) lost her son recently when she accidently smothered him in bed so now I am freaking out that I could do that also or sleep through her struggling to breath so I do get comfort out of her been in her bassinet with me listening to her monitor beeping away. Her DS died a few days after the incident from been deprieved of oxygen. I've co-slept with my other 2 but after struggling to conceive J I am extra paranoid now.

Farrrkkkk! how scarey i hope she starts getting better soon i took 3 months to get better when i had it.

AFM-i bit the bullet and am selling my cradle and giving away Ella'a newborn clothes so it proves to DH i am serious.