Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

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Willow, could you be anaemic? You know how common it is in busy mums with young children. Or (don't cyber-punch me LOL, I hate to say it, but I know too many people who have had problems) could it be the Mirena? I hope whatever it is you work it out and feel better soon. Is it possibly just the sheer exhaustion of running around after three kids????

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Have considered all of these things Janie which is why I'm not overly worried. I have been having the headaches since the mirena but it could also just be the heat, I don't handle it very well and always get the really bad headaches on the 35+ days. I've taken more panadol the last few months than I have in my whole life I think! That's why my mum mentioned it to me, I was asking her for panadol again yesterday.

Other interesting thing is when I had my cards read, she said something was not quite right with my health (was one of the first things she said actually), she thought it was hormonal or gynae stuff. I freaked a bit because of my history which we talked about and she said maybe it was all the scarring and damage she was seeing :think: In any event, I'm going to discuss it with my ob and get him to do a thorough u/sound.

Bek - Maybe we're just exhausted from these kids!! She said this supposed 4th (or 5th, however you look at it) child would not come in the next 12 months, but not long after that :o

I just got my mirena info book thingy out - one of the side effects is lower back pain. OMG, my back has been killing me for two weeks! I honestly think its from lifting my buddha boy in and out of his cot though. Headaches are definitely listed though

Sequioa DS is doing really well these days. He's such a happy little boy who lights up our world every single day. He's just a little fella but hey someone has to be smaller on the scale ;) I think he's having a growth spurt atm though as all he's doing the last couple of days is eat eat eat :) and he's asking for "more meat" lol. that is devon or sausages or little frankies lol.
Its great to hear your DS is coming along well too :)

Jo Please don't apolagise to me about you posting about some fantastic news. I'm so happy for you and can't wait to hear how your POAS test goes tomorrow.

Freya Wonderful news that Jett hasn't got chicken pox after all. So what about your nephew? Has his rash gone too or is his c'pox? What has your sister said?

Janie I'm not too sure if I'm on cd 34 or 36 depends on if I should take the 1st day I went to hospital as cd1 with spotting that got worse or the 2nd time I went after everything had gotten really bad.Either way I'm thinking af will be here sometime soon. I'm actually hoping it happens before I go back to work next Thursday.
How are you? Did you start the meds the other day?

Michelle I agree with the other girls ;)
So pleased Omar is wriggling around lots and that you have done some more scans. How are you and DH doing?

Willow Go to the DR hun. Hopefully they will have some answers for you too. You have so much going on atm too hun and you need to take care of YOU too :hug:

Bek Oh hun I hope you are feeling better soon and get some answers from your DR too.

I'm not doing so great today. MIL took Sage out for a play date (cos I told her I was going to put him into daycare 1 day a week so he could interact with other kids and she got upset so she said she would make more effort to organise play dates with her friends with grand kids similar aged if I didn't book him into care). So anyway she came on picked him up just after 8 this morning and I was meant to go out for lunch with some friends but I just couldn't do it today. It's the 1st day I've actually had to myself since my m/c so I'm needing to just spend it by myself and have a good cry without worrying about anyone walking in and catching me out.

BBL should go and vacuum while DS isn't here to "help" :rofl:

Mako - Just wanted to give you a hug. :hug: Have a rest hun.

My nephew must have just had heatrash; he ended up in hospital night before last with a vomitting bug that made him dehydrated but no chicken pox.

:hug: Mako.

Mako - I agree with Bek, go watch a DVD or have a sleep. :hug:

big :hug: Mako

mako - :hug: that was how I coped after my m/c. Take it easy today while you can.

Willow - I'd be off to the dr too if I was feeling like that. It must be so hard to cope when you are feeling awful. I hope things are OK today with your nan. And OMG at the Little Squirt dying, I'm lost without mine! I nearly died without it when we were on holidays LOL

Lee - Oh NO at AF showing up - how ripped off! I'm 5 months down the track and I would still feel ripped off if she showed up now LOL

BW - Sorry to hear about Sam, I can understand your stress. If it makes you feel better though, I would be getting the referral too.

Kelly - Hope AF shows up for you soon :hug: So very sorry for your loss hun.

Bonham - GL with testing tomorrow - fingers crossed for you!

Lisa - Glad everything is going well, GL with your next ob appt.

Hi everyone else :hello: Sorry for no more persies, have been out swimming with DD1 then shopping and now have to go and deal with Mount Washmore LOL On the bright side though, at least it is so hot that it will all dry fast. DH has been away for work most of the week, so have had the 2 girls to deal with by myself, it has been very busy. At least he will be back tomorrow night, just in time for the weekend.

OMG, how rude of me - I forgot Bun! Congratulations and well done, what a fantastic job you did hun by the sounds of it. I'm sorry it didn't go as you hoped though :( but all the very best for a quick recovery. The bath idea sounds fantastic, I had a LOT of stitches with DD1 and stuff like that was just heaven :o

mako - big hugs sweetie. I agree with the others, take care of yourself today and put your feet up. It sounds like you need some time to yourself so make the most of it, cry all you need to and know that we are here for you if you need to *talk*.

janie - thank you so much for your advice. I had forgotten about feeding with bubs chin closest to the lump, but I don't think I can this time as the lump is right at the top of the boob! Hopefully it will go away soon. There is a great ABA group here, I am friends with one of the girls so may come along to a meeting sometime. So sorry for not responding to your post about your little bub, I am sure it will be fine but I can understand you worrying. I am passing on some grow baby grow vibes!

Michelle - i am also sorry for not responding to your news. I am so so sorry you are going through this, it must be so stressful for you and DH. It sounds like you have given it a lot of thought though. I will be thinking of you next week.

Willow & Bek - I hope you are both feeling better soon. It must be so busy having three kids, make sure you make some time for yourselves too!

sequioa - I had Dr Blair with C's birth but have moved interstate now so had to find a different OB. Luckily he turned out to be great too!

BW - sorry to hear about Sam. I know it is so hard not to stress when the drs say to wait a while. I am hoping that it will resolve itself in the meantime.

Lisa - glad to hear all is going well with you and your little one.

Thanks everyone for your comments about the birth. I am still struggling with it a little and it is nice to hear from others who have been through a posterior labour and understand how horrendous it is. Now things are getting worse. I had some really tight stitches which were cut the day I left hosp and gave me a huge relief but I am still in agony in one spot. I have been trying to work out if there is another too tight stitch in there but everything is so swollen it is hard to tell what is what! Anyway, the pain was so bad today and last night that I phoned the OB today and went in to see a midwife about cutting the stitch. She decided it was too hard for her as it is so sore and swollen so got an OB to have a look (mine wasn't in today). Anyway, it turns out that the knot in the stitch is actually under the skin so he can't cut it, basically it is soooo tight that there is nothing they can do other than cut the skin which won't really help and it will be another week and a half before the stitch dissolves so I have been told I just need heaps more pain killers in the meantime. I am trying not to take many as J is that sleepy anyway, and now I have been told to take three times what I have been taking, so my little guy will never be awake! I have to go in again tomorrow for another check and may need antibiotics to avoid infection. Sigh... as if the birth wasn't bad enough, now the recovery is getting even worse!

:hug: to mako and Bun.

Ladies,

I'm exhausted, you guys have been talking up a storm. Please forgive me for the short persies, I promise to try to keep up from now on.

Bun: Hun, you sound like you've been through so much. :hug: It is going to take a while to process it hun but you should be so very proud of the amazing job you did getting your bub here. DS1 was posterior and because he was stillborn the mw didn't seem to give a stuff about me and just left me alone. I was in pure agony, I thought I would die and I ended up asking for an epi so I can get where you are coming from. I hope the issue with the stitches sorts out and you can get on with your recovery soon. BTW I've seen the pics of J and he is just so very cute.

Sequioa: Welcome hun, I'm sorry you've had to join us IYKWIM but the ladies in here are just awesome.

Mako: :comfort:

I promise to come back later and chat some more. Off to clean the bathroom before the boys wake.

Lv Spring

Just wanted to send everyone some big hugs... think I need them atm too. Sorry for the little whinge but if I'm not going through enough atm, I'm now having to bite my tongue with my step dad. It's so hard. I love my Mum soooo much and we're extremely close and as much as I love me step dad too.. we just don't always get along and it's really hard 'living' with him. We're only here for three more days before heading back to Melb but I swear I'm REALLY close to just blowing up and telling him what I really think sometimes. It's only stupid small things but right now, they feel like they're massive and I just don't need it.

Sorry guys.. it's just hard because I love being here and there's part of me thats dreading going back to Melb but then again.. there's now a part of me that just can't wait to have some of my own space again.. I know that feeling won't last long though, when it's just DS and I home every day again with no more help. I just hate feeling like this.

Sorry again.. there are much bigger problems in here right now and I hate to be petty.. just need to get it off my chest.

Kel xxx

Hugs Kelly I completely know how you feel. I always bite my tongue when my step mother is involved. She is a great Nanny to the girls but she is hard woman to get along with some times. I hope your last few days with your mum are special

Jo How did your POAS test go this morning?

Kelly I too have to bite my tongue where my stepdad is concerned although I certainly let him know when I don't approve of the way he speaks to me or my child at times :shakehead:
Enjoy your last few days in Perth with your mum though. How are you feeling in general now?

Willow thanks for letting me know what the lady said about me ;) I will keep it in the very back of my mind and see what happens down the track.
Hope you have a better day today :hug:

Michelle How are you holding up hun?

Deb How's your BP? I hope its dropped down a bit too.

I have a busy day today. Heaps of washing (yeah Mount Washmore here too Megsmum lol) to be done luckily its going to be a hot day so won't take too long to dry and then I have to go shopping for a birthday present for my niece and I have no idea what to buy her.

Hope everyone has a good day. BBL to check on Jo ;)

Kelly & Mako: sending more :hug:

Michelle: thinking of you :hug:

Deb: i hope you are doing ok with your BP :hug:

AFM: Well i got up at 7.30am as i couldnt sleep any longer and POAS AND the 2nd line was darker, so i'll be making a dr appt later today for sometime next week. My visitors arrived last night around 10pm and we didnt get to bed until 1.30am :lol: so today i want to get some washing done early as it's suppose to be 42degrees here.

Bonham - Congrates hun. Plenty of sticky vibes coming your way

Jo - CONGRATULATIONS!!! Fantastic news hun. I know you're extremely nervious but try to enjoy it at least for a moment!! We're all here for you and praying that we finally get some luck in here... surely it's gotta happen this time!!! Exciting!!!

Have another busy day today and will be catching up with Jayne this avo... yay!!!

Kel xxx

Bonham: Yay hun, I am so happy for you. I hope and pray you've got a sticky little bub there.

Thanks ladies, i've rung my Dr and cant get into see him until alteast Wednesday if i'm lucky, i have to ring Wednesday morning to see if they can fit me in. The other option is to just see 1 of the other Dr's for now, but my Dr is only 1 of 2 OB/GYN Dr's in this town.

I'm hoping that this is the start of something good in here, surely it has to happen soon.

quishy :hug: to everyone

WOOHOO Jo thats fantastic news. I'm sending you many many :stickyvibesboy::stickyvibesgirl:

Kelly and Jayne I have to say I'm jealous lol ;) Hope you both have a great afternoon.

Jo - nothing like a BFP to get me in a good mood :D Congratulations hun, sending you all the sticky vibes I can muster and wishing you a happy and healthy pg!!

Jayne / Kelly - enjoy your meeting ladies!

Q - when do I start taking EPO and RLT?? Can you believe im asking this already?? Im scared LOL!!

Lisa -

RLT you can start at anytime really, preferably in the second tri. So you are fine to drink it now. 3 cups a day, and then around 35 plus weeks go to 5 cups if you can stomach it. Or go to a naturopath and get a liquid version and take it once or twice per day.

The EPO start orally around 34-35 weeks, just 2. And vaginally 37 weeks - 2 capsules in the night before bed, 38+ weeks can up it to 3 or 4.
Remember to wear a pad. What goes in, will come back out.

Bonham - Yay, congrats on the BFP!!! Heaps of sticky vibes coming your way :D I have a good feeling for you.

Kelly - :hug: It must be hard for you without the family support around, I know I wouldn't have coped well without mine, but on the other hand there was some that I could have done without :rolleyes:

Have a nice day everyone else, and a nice weekend :) Its going to be a hot one here. Had best be off, have to take DD1 to the podiatrist for a checkup, fingers crossed he will be happy with her now she has had orthotics for a while.

Welcome again Megsmum - I am glad you have joined us! It's lovely to see all the pain of the TTC threads ending in this parenting forum. It always warms me... I'm sure in no time you will get to know us all and us you. :hug:

:happyforyou: Bonham!!! :cheer: I am so happy that you have your positive test! I pray and hope this little one is a sticky little person & in about 9 months we are all celebrating your birth.

Mako: I hope you are okay today. :hug: Just want you to know that how you are feeling is so so normal - just take it a day at a time...

Michelle: Your parcel is leaving Maleny today - OMG I can't believe I finally have put it in the post after so many failed attempts at sending things in the past. I hope things are okay? I am here always if you need me or want to talk. :hug:

Willow: I hope you are feeling better soon...

Bun: How are you today? How is that precious little man? :hug:

Kelly: I can understand needing some breathing space after being with relatives for a holiday. Be gentle with yourself - you have been through so much

Me: Well my BP is still up way too high... I have increased my antihypertensives so we'll see how that goes. I will see a cardiologist as soon as I can get an appointment. Immys appointment went as I expected yesterday - but man it was a looooooong day! We left home at 6am - up at 4.30am. Got there at 745 for an 8am start! She did so well my beautiful Princess! She of course is not meeting "usual" two year old tests in the psychology department. I didn't need to explain her preoccupation with lining things up as she lined up the magazines in the waiting room and the blocks and then began on the paper cups... :wall: She isn't showing any other signs of autisim so we'll see...
She of course was told she had poor muscle tone, walks with a head stoop and the obvious... She's small! :lol: She isn't on the gowth charts any more. She is about 12 months behind in height and her weight is in the 3rd centile. (she's 10kgs)... Anyway it was a bit of a waste of time from my perspective but it's interesting I guess. A lovely touching thing the director of the NICU who happens to be a very gorgeous gentleman popped his head in to see Immy. She was in NICU for so long and took so long to improve she remained in his mind... Immy put her arms up to be cuddled (she is very very very friendly and does this to anyone!) but it really touched him & found me sobbing. So many times I had sat by her incubator praying for the day I could come back there and show off my "normal" little 2 year old... It felt good to know we have survived so much together and that my Imogen made it back there - like a circle complete...

I had the mediation in the afternoon to do wiht the relocation... That went really well - she was a lovely woman & very sympathetic to my case. She will write to the FOTY and he has 10 days to make an appointment for a meeting as well. Then it goes to a mediation session...
Someone's coming to look through the house on Sunday - so let's hope that these are the buyers for our home and that the FOTY agrees to me moving & we can all move on...

to you all..xxxx

BONHAM _ I am soooooo excited for you. Cant believe how cool & calm you are, oh yeah, make a dr's appointment for next week, piles of washing, blah blah blah I'd be like oh my freaking goodness, I'm UTD, I can't believe it, I need to see a dr NOW :lol: I am loving your style!!!

Well, must go get the house in order for a lovely visitor that I am getting today......

Love Jayne

Jo - Congrats!! How exciting. We all understand your caution though but I truly believe in thinking positive so I am looking forward to anxiously awaiting your birth announcement in 9mths time :)

Deb - Immy sounds like such a sweetheart, I would have been crying too! What an amazing girl; I think she'll be doing great things with her life. First female prime minister has a nice ring to it dont you think?

Jayne/Kelly - I am so jealous you get to meetup!

SuperNurse - how are you doing?

Mako - is it hot up your way today? I can definately join you and Megsmum in the 'Ive visited Mt Washmore' club; Im so slack at folding clothes :lol:

Freya YES it is HOT!! lol. Poor DH working out in the heat all day. He'll be exhausted when he gets home. I'm waiting on Sage to wake up so I can take him for a swim in the lake. He'll be wanting to play out the back but its just way too hot for that.

Deb Oh hun your little princess sounds gorgeous. I just want to let you know that my boy is only 10.something kgs too and he was born around the same time as Immy :hug: I really do hope the people coming through your home are the buyers you are hoping for. I'm so happy your appt went well too.
Oh and thank you for letting me know that how I'm feeling at times is "normal". I really do wonder sometimes and think I have high expectations of myself. Unfortunately DH has been copping a bit(a lot) of flack from me lately :doh: I feel so bad about that but sometimes just can't help it :redface:

Lisa :hello: I can't believe you are starting the RLT already. Where has the time gone??
Hope you are doing well though.

I hope everyone is coping ok with the heat. Unfortunately its meant to be worse here over the weekend so I can see the air con going constantly and us going swimming quite frequently. Lucky the lake is only 5 mins away and the beach 3 mins ;)

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Lucky the lake is only 5 mins away and the beach 3 mins

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Man, I gotta move...

Jo - congratulations!!! Praying that all will be smooth sailing :hug:

Deb - Glad to hear both Immy's appt and the mediation went well. Are you expecting trouble from FOTY in regards to the relocation?

AFU, Mt Washmore here too but slowly working my way through it today. It's been one of those days today and my boys are testing my limits :(

Got a phone call from mum last night, the oncologist came to see Nan after we left the other day to tell her they will not proceed with any further chemo. Scans have shown no improvement and they feel it is taking too much of a toll on her so they have decided not to proceed :( I just hope she doesn't suffer...she's is in quite a bit of pain now and the cancer is aggressive we've been told. We are all preparing ourselves...

Gotta go, screaming kids hanging off me everywhere (literally :wall:)

I swear sometimes on days like today where the kids will not listen, will not sleep, will not co-operate and I have not left the house other than to go to the clothes line, I feel like *I* have completely disappeared....

OH Willow I"m so sorry bout your Nan, have they told you how long to expect? I"m really sorry.

So sorry to hear about your Nan Willow :( So sad.

Thanks guys.

They said without treatment 3-6 months. We're expecting a few months I think.

Don't mind me, I'm having a bad day. And DH has come home in a foul mood. He's going fishing tonight so at least I won't have to deal with him. Although I'll have the kids on my own.

aw Willow if you didnt live so far I would drive over and we could wrangle the kids together; Ive only got Stelly tonight and we are bored!

WILLOW _ How is your mum taking it? I really wish I could give you a big hug. Your DH sounds exactly like mine, bringing his office-bad-mood home. Love that he's a fisherman, Alan has gills I reckon! Do you just LURVE the fishy clothes smell when they return from a day on the water? Alan drives me nuts with it cos he reckons because he is tired he can come straight to bed. Not on my nice bed sheets you can't my friend! Straight to the shower!

FREYA _ You have 3 boys & tonight you are down to 1 & you say that you are BORED! Holy heck woman, paint your toe nails, soak in the tub, hire a DVD, get a gf over, I can think of 6 million things you could do! LOL

Aargh! I posted earlier but lost it (courtesy of ds i think). And am not in the mindframe for personals now. We have no power, and probably won't for awhile. So i'm hot and bothered, and have two very tired boys on my hands who are trying to go to sleep now. While i log in on my phone! Add to that that after having a fair few tightenings last night, some of them painful, i rang max this morning. By the time he rang me back i was having some more. I'm to double my dose, and hope that it helps, he doesn't want to put me on the maximum dose right now. Which is fine, but the bloody salbutomol keeps me so wide awake! And taking it four times a day is going to see me never sleeping i think :lol:. Better than going into labour though ;). Sorry to just come and just vent, i'll be back properly once we have power. Willow, i'm really really sorry hun :hug:

Willow - just wanted to say that is very sad about your Nan, you are obviously very close with her, I hope you get to enjoy some special times with her now, it's still very sad.... I'm sorry. And I completely understand when you say that you feel you have disappeared, it's all way too easy for this to happen when you have a tribe of little folk - I feel the same way often, but keep reminding myself that "I'm still here, but will be on the back-berner a while longer" - our time will come around again - and what we are doing now is so important and special - you're doing a wonderful job with your boys, under trying circumstances at the moment. Hugs to you.

Deb - I felt proud of your Immy when I read your post, can only imagine how bursting your heart must have been - you write about her with such love, it's so beautiful to see this, you really help remind me what is important in this life, thank you. I pray your BP goes down, you have had that much stress, and obviously are not getting enough rest which doesn't help the BP - pity that FOTY isn't more useful, but you are amazing without him anyway. Hope things settle and your house sells, and you can move much closer to Tassie !! :lol:

Jo - huge congrats on your BFP - like the rest of the ladies have said, we pray for an uneventful 9 months, and we are here for the ride ahead! Enjoy it when you can xox

Spring - how's that boy B and your magic growth booby juice going??!!!! How has O taken to having a babe around? Remy being 16 months is a bit young to be too jealous, she tries to give Flynn her dolls bottle and keeps putting blankets over his head, so cute to see the nutruring coming out so early.

How's everyone else in here??

Kelly - how you doing hun? Are you home yet? Things will get better, but it does take time, meantime, keep your expectations low and be kind to yourself - get yourself a massage, facial, something you enjoy.

Hi to everyone else! I have visitors at the minute, so am a bit pre-occupied, but I'm doing okay, just so busy with four kiddies!

Love and hugs to all.

Lee xoxoxo

Jo - congratulations!!! That is wonderful news :confetti:

Willow - :hug: let me know if you need anything. Even though there is no chemo (TBH - I would have considered not having it too) there is a very definite need for good palliation. By that, I mean properly managed so she is comfortable, pain free and able to enjoy her time with her family. Chemo can really take it out of you and the side effects are often not worth it. You need to send me her name so I can keep track of her if she arrives when I am at work :hug:

Deb - she is such a sweetheart!! And thank you. You have enough to keep you busy at the moment but I may still be calling you. Just the ups and downs are making it hard ........ but I am currently sitting in the bliss of De-nile. It is cool here and without waves ;)

Janie - rest woman!!!

Mako and Kelly - :hug: It is a rough road and you are perfectly normal. *they* just don't get it.

Big hellos to everyone. Not long home from work and debating the best path to bed ;) DH is still at work so it is just me and the kidlets who are (at the moment :rolleyes:) sleeping. Very tired, emotionally exhausted and dealing with so many bl00dy pregnant women at work :wall: Most of the time it is ok but sometimes ................ Will be back to say hello to everyone tomorrow.

Just popping into give you all a hug :grouphug:

Oh Willow I am so sorry about your Nan's illness... :comfort: I understand how confronting the knowledge of her prognosis is. It is very hard to hear this about a much loved one. Big cuddles my love... :hug: FWIW I am relieved that they made the call to not continue the treatment but rather support her & assist her to be comfortable. Chemo can be merciless - especially on one so elderly. I hope that you have been given contacts for good quality palliative care? There are many agencies that do home visits - I can't really help with that as I am in Qld - but perhaps Michelle will pop in & I am sure she will have lots of information.

This is a really tough time for you & your family. Remember her beautiful life & all the qualities that you love - focus on the gift that she gave you all -rather than the sadness of the illness that she has now. Give her a hand squeeze from me - she will be in my prayers... :hug:

Willow, I am very sorry to hear about you Nan. :hug:

Bonham, congratulations on your darker second line!!!

Michelle, I have been thinking of you. I hope that you are holding up okay.

Deb, Reading about your visit with Immy made me a little tearful. I had a pretty good cry when my OB held Grayson a few weeks ago. It was a long journey to bring him into the world and my OB really helped me through it all.

Lee, It is great to hear that you are doing okay. I hope things are starting to calm down for you.

Hi! to everyone else

AFM, I am right in the middle of my cycle but Grayson has been having a difficult time sleeping for a few days. I don't really know what is going on with him because he usually sleeps for 11 or 12 hours. I have been too tired to put much energy into TTC this month :rolleyes:

:hello: girls, :grouphug: to everyone. Seems everyone is ust about having a rough time.

sorry ive been MIA last few weeks. Been busy setting up my home business. Just a little boutique store, won't earn me to much, but am looking forward to it. Ive named it "Inspired by Lilli" in mememorial to my little princess, heheh even have a little pic of her on my website banner :D Once its complety up and running you all must have a look and tell me what you think.

Well last monday Evangeline had her sleep study done. :( So many wires, i hardly slept a wink that night, just watching her with all them wires broke my heart. But she only paused her breathing a few times :dance: Though, cheeky girl decided to have a big deep sleep when we got home, and once again her alarm went off grrr.

heheh you should see missy's chubba rolls now, i love them!!! Also think she may have inherited mummy's thighs, poor girl. We also have or next lot of needles in 4 days :( can't believe my bubba girl is almost 4mths old. Where did that time go. Sorry the about me post, i will be back later for personals!!!