Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

................nearly 3 years of only seeing her twice, TWICE. And she shows up in the middle of the night. I thought if babies were still feeding overnight she doesnt show. Explains why I feel like crap. I dont even have anything better than panty liners :lol:

So far she's being nice to me though so lets hope it stays that way, my periods are usually shocking. 10mths was a good wicket after bub I guess, sucks though I was enjoying not having to worry (and the minimal risk of babies surprising us...........)

Willow: hun, I am so very sorry to hear about your nan. By the sounds of it you guys have a very specail relationship. I just don't have the right word babe, I wish I could make it easier for all of your family. Please know I'm thinking of you and sending you my love.

Freya: You sound exactly like me. AF came back when O was 11 months old and I was still feeding him through the night. I hope she is gentle with you. Ever since having kids my periods have been so heavy, I don't know why they changed so drastically. How are uni preparations going? Are you excited/nervous. I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job.

Lee: B is going well thanks babe. Had a tough night last night with him having an upset belly but he managed to poop out whatever was bothering him by about 1am and was settled thereafter. He is just growing so quick, 3 weeks today and already in 000 and I'm even getting out some 00. He is just such a long and sturdy lad. O is doing a fantastic job, he has just taken on the role of big brother wonderfully. He is a very nurturing boy, very gentle which is a relief because I was worried he'd be a bit rough. Sounds like you've got your hands full. It must be tough with two littlies and two older kids but by the sounds of it you are doing a great job. Remy sounds just delightful, I'm sure they will have a very close bond as they grow together.

Deb: Great news that the mediation went well. It is a bit hit and miss with mediators but by the sound of it the universe was on your side. Immy is such a doll, it must have been such a special moment to see her embrace the NICU doctor. It also must have been very rewarding for him to see what a beautiful little lady she is growing into. I hope and pray the increase in the antihypertensives does the trick for you babe :hug:

Michelle: Just wanted to say you rock babe. You are always so generous with your time and advice for us when we are in need. I think the world would be a much better place if there were more health care professionals like you.

Rach: Glad to hear E's sleep study went well. I don't blame you for having a restless night that night. Which monitor are you using? I use and Angel Care and I find when they kids are tiny if it is off centre it can sometimes cause false alarms.

Laney: Wow, 11 -12 hours, Grayson is a champ. I'm stoked if B goes 3 (lol). Hopefully his sleeps sorts out again and you can get back to TTC next month.

Janie: Vent away babe, sounds like your hot and bothered and TBH I don't blame you. Being pregnant is hot work as it is but to have no electricity must be terrible. I hope it is back on and you can get some rest today.

Jayne: Spill woman, who is the visitor? I'm interested. Hey how is Banjo going? Haven't heard about him for a while.

Mako: Hope you manage to stay cool this weekend. Sounds like the lake/beach is the place to be. Pump up the aircon and watch some DVD's.

Well I have friends staying at the moment which is so nice. A very dear friend of mine has come to meet B. Unfortunately he had one of his most unsettled nights last night but it's murphy's law isn't it. She has a little boy and it is so nice to see how excited O is playing with him. I can't wait until B is old enough to play with O. When I hear them giggling and squealing with joy it just warms my heart.

Anyway, better get back to it.

Hi to everyone else.

Lv Spring xx

Hi everyone, I'll be away for a week, having a small procedure done.

Before I go, I wanted to send a :hug: to Willow and wish Michelle all the very best for Monday week, thinking of you.

Willow I'm sending you a huge :hug: babe. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Nan. You and your family are in my thoughts. Please call me if you want to chat about anything at all. My Grandad went through all the cancer treatment and then finally was told "no more".
I truly do hope your Nan has a pain treatment plan happening and the support of Pallative Care Team too :hug:

Freya Bummer about AF showing up but thats a pretty good effort in 3 years ;) I hope she stays being kind to you.

Rach I had tears in my eyes(and rolling down my face) when I saw Evangeline's pics of her sleep study. But she passed with flying colours so that's wonderful news. Your business sounds great too. Love the name you've chosen for it. Just beuatiful. Now I need to have a girl to buy all the pretty hair clips ;)

Michelle I hope you managed to get some sleep last night. De Nile sounds like a good place to be right now :hug:

I'd better go. Sage is driving me nuts today. All he wants to do is go outside and jump jump(on his trampoline) and swing lol but its just way too hot atm.

Spring - Um Ive got my textbooks sorted out just need to pay for them. Daycare is sorted out; I managed to get the boys into one down the road (the older two for both days and Stells for one because they dont have space on the other right now) which will be handy for Ryan picking them up. I think a friend will watch S for me on tuesdays for now. Im stressing about leaving him; he is such a mama's boy and so attached to booby, he does alright for Ryan but anyone else he just screams and screams *sigh* Ive made the decision to wean him at 12mths though so its only going to get worse I reckon. Im excited though!

Mako - so far only little cramps and just a tad over spotting. Bit weird actually because my AFs between kids were horrible as per usual. Would breastfeeding affect AF like that?

OMgosh its so quiet without the boys. Stells is sleeping. Im getting sick of traipsing back and forth between houses; will be so glad when the army do something about housing so we can move back in together. I'll also be glad to not have to penny pinch so much, trying to stretch what little I have left after rent is a nightmare. I dont know how single mums do it for years.

On the upside we are getting a puppy in April! Friends of ours breed Aussie Bulldogs and want someone to place a puppy with for breeding in a few years. They have two girls of their own but one is on her last legs breeding wise and they want to keep the bloodlines going. So I convinced Ryan we should help them out seeing as we have breeding experience. So we get a pup for free and in exchange when she is 2 we breed her for two litters (with 10% of each pups sale value given to us as well) then we can desex or breed ourselves. Jett is so excited, he loves dogs and has already said he is going to train her and feed her everyday lol Rip is borderline scared; he takes a few hours to warm up to friends dogs everytime we go there..........last time it started with a few scared yelps when they walked near him, then an hour later he was *almost* patting them and then squealing and running when they turned to him, then an hour after that he was asking for pats, then at the end he was trying to ride them like horses :rofl: Stellan kept feeding them out of his bowl at dinner so Im guessing he is a fan because they like to eat too! They name their litters by letter so this one will be Litter C - Im either going to name her Caoimhe (kee-va) or Chaya (CHYE-uh).

Michelle :hug:
Rach :hug: Glad Missy moo passed her sleep tests but I sure its still a worry for you.

Thanks girls for all your kind words. To be honest, when I'm not around her or my mum I'm kinda OK with it. But being with her is hard knowing what's going to happen :( But this time is special and just the other day she told me the story of her wedding day, which I'd never heard before. I found myself walking around her house looking at all her things wondering what would happen to it all once she was gone and her house was empty :cry:

I'm not sure what's happening with palliative care. I know that a palliative nurse has been coming to the house as has a community nurse. My mum and aunties are taking turns staying with her so she is not alone. As her condition worsens I guess they will need to make a decision about whether or not to keep her at home. My aunties and mum think she feels more secure when she's at the hospital, so it may be her choice to go into care permanently as time goes on.

Michelle, will PM you her name. Thank you :hug:

Well looks like my dream run with D's sleep has come to an end :wall: He has been shocking at night lately and now the last few days his sleeps have gone to pot too. DH is driving me nuts with it saying we have to 'fix it' because he's not 'going back there again' (ie the issues we had with DS1) I just want to scream when he says that!!!

Hi ladies,

So hard to keep up with everyone atm so forgive me for the brief personals..

Willow - aww hun this is such a difficult time for the whole family. Ive been there before sweety and its heartwrenching but try to spend as much time with nan as you can. Its the memories that will last you a lifetime :hug:

Deb - Immy sounds sooo adorable, and if you move down here then im sure going to give that precious little princess a big hug myself. I understand what you mean about the circle being complete and she sure has come a long way, so have you my dear.

Rach - what a fitting name for your business - wishing it all goes well hun.

Anna - bugger about af! Im sure the kids will love a pup - not sure how mummy will be with another littlie to look after :)

Janie - how are you today?? Im getting lots of lower back and period type pain to the point where i think labour is imminent - with me i think its purely b/c its baby no. 2 and im not getting much rest, but i feel like this one is going to fly out..

Bek - thanks for the advice hun, id better get cracking on RLT!

AFM - not much going on other than im freaking out that im sooo not ready at home yet, the spare room / office needs a make over as DH will be sleeping in there while bubs is in my room with me ;) and we dont have the cradle set up or a big girl bed ready for Miss A and ive only bought two outfits for bub and a couple of singlets. Im going to make a list of what i have to do and enlist the help of mum and a couple of friends to help me clean clean clean!!

Hope your all having a super weekend, and hugs to all, even those ive missed

Lis xx

Hi girls.
I have a question for you all ;)

AF decided to show up earlier so it has got me thinking about whether or not I should start taking Clomid now or should I wait until I see my Ob in just under 2 weeks time? I'm not sure if it would do any harm in taking it this cycle or if I should just wait. I really want to be pregnant again and am ready to be pregnant but just not sure if this medication can be taken so close to having a m/c. So I guess what I'm asking is would you take it before seeing your Ob or would you wait to see what the Ob suggests?

Sorry if that seems all over the place but just want your thoughts ;)

I would - but I'm the wrong one to ask ;)

Me too - but I am the Queen of self medication!

:rofl: I knew you would answer the same Deb :D

Id do it Mako. I had a m/c the cycle before we conceived Ripley and my OB put me on clomid that cycle after. Im pretty sure you'd be fine to take it if you want to.

Thanks girls ;) I'm seriously thinking about taking it and just get my ob to write a pathology referral when I see her.

Freya I hope af is being nicer to you than she is to me atm. The tummy and back pain is killing me so far. I hope it eases off soon cos it's driving me mad :(

Hey Mako :) I think if it were me, I would ring my Ob and check. I'm sure that it will be fine to take it, but I would want that peace of mind, IYKWIM? But hey, many others would just take it :rofl: so if you feel comfortable with it, then go for it!!!! But if you're hesitating, just give her a call and ask :D

Mako, I'm another self-medicator and would be fairly likely to jump onto the clomid.

But... I always had the strong suspicion that I had an auto-immune issue going on (just simply from other health issues I have) and for quite a while was adamant that I would see Dr S before we started IVF. I was talked out of it in the end... and have regretted it ever since. If I'd followed his treatment plan with my first pregnancy, then there's a chance I would not have miscarried (part of his plan was to stay on metformin at least through first trimester - I lost my first baby when my GP talked me into reducing my dose of metformin) and I don't think I can ever get that out of my head...

So, while part of me would be wanting to take the clomid and just hurry up the process of getting pregnant ASAP, there's another part of me that would be very reluctant to do it until I'd had all the testing in the book done just to be sure. I'm certainly not going to say don't take it, but I thought I'd put my story out there to give you some more to think on. I don't know where you're at with the Dr S plan these days, though.

Us - still plodding along. Completely freaked out about going back to work on Wednesday, but Sam appears to have survived his first day of daycare ok on Friday. Really stuck with deciding what to do about his testicle issue. Just can't make a decision on where to go from here - don't know that I feel comfortable just watching and waiting for another 6 months, but also not very comfortable about what could end up being unnecessary surgery if I push the issue now... If it were me and my body I think it would be easier to decide - it's just overwhelming to be entrusting with the responsibility of making these decisioins for another human being.

BW

Mako, I'm sure it would be fine to take it too. I started back on Clomid as soon as AF arrived after my m/c. But having said that, I would personally (not saying that you should listen to me or anything LOL) not take it without talking to my dr. But hey, I'm ultra conservative with taking any medication too ;) Can you ring her in the morning?

Good luck hun :)

Mako - Sorry babe, but I'm with BW on this one. I would wait until you've seen your ob/Dr S before *I* tried to fall prg again, however, the choice is of course yours. I just think it's pretty likely that they will want to try a new protocol with you and I don't want you to ever have any regrets or any more 'what ifs'. I truly understand the desire to be pregnant again, I really do, but I would wait. :hug:

I know that if you do go ahead and see Dr S he will advise you to wait until he's done all the testing he will want to do. He is very thorough.

MAKO _ Do you think you could just give your OB a call tomorrow & doubly check? You know things better than anybody, but sometimes just better to make sure you're OB is on the same page & same train of thinking as you?? How is the jump-jump going? LOL I love he is dedicated to his trampoline, mine are as well. We are up for replacing our net already though as Jess thinks it's hilarious to jump off the nets as well as cartwheel into them, which isn't really the intended purpose of the net. I'm not very happy about it, but it's something that has to be done. I'm just spewing it's buggered after only 13 months!

WILLOW _ How's things on your home front? How's the kids? I hope D begins to sleep properly again soon. Maybe he knows that you are stressed out & he's picking up on that?

BW _ So glad you survived your first day back at school!! Did your brain feel tired when you got home or was it buzzing with excitement? YAY for a good day with daycare as well!

SPRING _ Banjo is banished. Freaking thing digging a monster hole every time I go out. Even if it's just for half an hour! It's not boredom it's separation issues I think. Have been wondering if perhaps i left him inside when I went out, what damage would be done as he just chills out under our table. It's the same hole he keeps re-digging & it's driving me insane. I put the kids climbing frame over the top so he just dug around it & so now I have put the bunny play pen all the way around the 'problem' area, so lets see if that helps. How are things going with you? You are sounding so in love & I LOVE IT! Good on you. Ben seems a very happy & contended little man, as does his big brother. It's fantastic to hear!

KEL _ Hope you made it back to Mel safely & sanely! THanks so much for the catch up! Had a fantastic time & little Luke is just adorable! I love how he asks for Claudia as 'the little girl' when she is bigger than him. LOL

AFM _ Took Jess for her back to school haircut today, so she is loving herself stupid. Thnking about taking the kiddies out to tea tonight, just have to wrangle some friends!

Love Jayne xx

:

---

AFM _ Took Jess for her back to school haircut today, so she is loving herself stupid.

---

:rofl: I love the way you think Jayne!

Jayne - D has been perfect today. I *think* I see another tooth sitting in his bottom gum so maybe that's what has been bothering him. Or the 40+ heat yesterday :dunno: Hoping for a much better night tonight because he's been so settled all day but kinda not holding my breath either!

Hello!

Just a quick one.. we're back home in Melbourne and I haven't had time to catch up on everything yet. Will attempt to do so over the next couple of days and will try and finally do some more personals!!

The flight home was ok.. DS literally fell asleep 2 mintues before landing.. wtf?? He stayed asleep through the landing (sitting up in his seat, with seat belt on and all) and I had to manage two bags of hand luggage and sleeping toddler!! It was a challenge and a half, that's for sure. He stayed asleep though, until we finally got back to the car and he woke up! Bought our dog home too, so it's nice to have him here... but I got really emotional... I think it's all real now.. the whole family is here and I couldn't hold the tears back.. not sure if they were sad or happy tears.. weird. I think I was a bit sad about the m/c too... we're just missing that 2nd baby now.

Anyway must go.. need to try and get DS to bed.. this time difference thing is killing me!

Talk soon.

Kel xxx

Kel - apparently it is the relative lack of oxygen and the descent that puts them to sleep. My two did exactly the same thing flying into Melbourne and back again :rolleyes: Glad to hear you are home - even if it is bittersweet :hug:

Sending sleep vibes out to all households tonight - especially mine!!!!

I am sooooooooo tired. Between Omar and the little people not liking to sleep soundly until after 3am I am knackered. Add some stress and we are having a doozy. Snooze on the lounge while my friend kept them occupied and then instantly fell asleep this evening when DH got home from work - until DD hit me in the head with a maracca because I wasn't paying attention to her :lol: Finishing dinner then I think it is back to bed for me.

Work over the next 2 days, Mum and Dad coming down tomorrow for a follow up appointment on Wednesday and I am back to see the endocrinologist on the same day too. No doubt looking at my fasting BSL's I will be back onto insulin and monitoring every day from now until delivery :rolleyes:

Thanks Michelle.

Oh guys.. I'm so sorry to do this again but there lots of tears here right now and I don't really know what I'm crying about. Poor DH doesn't know what to do and DS isn't going to sleep.. not helping as it's 9.30pm already!! I don't know if it's being back 'home' with our dog now and having our complete family here... and missing the bub that we should have on the way by now.. or if I'm missing my Mum already, or if I'm just scared because it's all so real now... being in a new state, or if it's because I don't have anything to do all of a sudden, after a busy two weeks. I just can't really stop the tears right now and feel a bit sick.

I think I just need a good sleep and hopefully will feel better tomorrow. Sorry guys.

Kel xxx

Kel - I think, to some extent, you held some of your grief in while you were away :hug: It is a cleansing cry letting out a whole range of emotions. The finality of your move, the loss of your baby, missing family, being tired etc etc Just tell DH he doesn't need to do / say anything. All he needs to do is hold you while you let it all out :hug:

I need one of those crying sessions too :(

:grouphug:

Oh Kel, :hug: and everything is so much worse when you are tired, AND when someone is nice to you, it just sets you off again. Thinking of you...

xx

Sequoia - with you today :hug:

Just a quick one from me. I am still living in the land of De-nile but happy second trimester to me ;) 14w and counting .............

Hi lovelies,

Kel - I agree with what Michelle said, you have had EVERYTHING stressful happen at once - for a "normal" person, just a big move interstate is meant to be one of life's most stressful things, but here you are with loosing a baby on top of that, it's just all too much - you let it all out girl, let the tears flow, allow yourself to grieve, huge hugs, I'm so sorry you are going through this, it's not bl..dy fair xoxo

Jayne - on a much lighter note - I had the some trouble with one of my poochies digging in the same spot - driving me MAD - my DH resolved it 100% by putting the said poochies poo in the hole - she never dug in there again - so, save up a few of the larger more special ones and plonk them in the fave digging hold, see how you go, good luck!

Hi to everyone else - my friends just left, been so busy. Feeling really bad for Flynn, as I have not had time to express much for him, and I hate that, when I put him on the breast he just still nibbles - so it seems he's destined to be fully bottle fed. I just feel crappy about it thats all.

Got to go, he's crying. BBL.... Lee xoxoxo

Lee - sweety I know how you feel, DD was like that, and she refused to suck at all from the nipple so she was fully bottle fed with EBM for the first 10 weeks, after that my supply started to dwindle and she started to want more so I went to formula. I was really disappointed at the time but now I look back and I know I did the best I could do.

Kelly - hun, i agree with the others, i think you are only coming to terms with it all and its good to let it all out and have a good cry...:hug:

Big hi to everyone else!

AFM - big week here, bday party tomorrow, got lots of paperwork to sort out this week, having my nails and hair done and fake tan, need to pick up DD's flowergirl dress and shoes, organise gifts, go to work and we have a wedding on Saturday (my little princess will be flower girl) and a christening and 1st bday on Sunday. SO much for nesting :rolleyes: oh and i have an ob appt later this week!

Kelly - hugs hun.

LisaL - Wow what a big week. Make sure you get some rest to avoid the nasty BH's. Is it your bday? If so Happy Birthday

Lee - Hugs re breastfeeding. Try not to let your disappointment/guilt take over, it can be a killer to mind and spirit. Plenty of mum and bub skin to skin time will help the bonding to continue. I used to bath with my girls just so that I could get the contact.

AFM - Well I just want to hide under a chair until the latest episode with my mum and her illness passes. I am seriously at my wits ends with my family. All else is ok atm thankfully

Love to all

:hug: to all that need them

Kelly: big :hug: hun.

Sequoia: hope your procedure went well :hug:

Bek: i dont know the background of your mum's illness but i wanted to send some :hug: to you

Sorry i've been quiet we had some of my family visiting for Sophie's birthday (she turned 2 yesterday) so it's been busy here.

AFM: I'm doing ok, i'm trying not to stress or worry (which as you all would know isnt easy). Going to ring my dr on Wednesday and hope that he can fit me in, also going to hope he'll let me have a scan between now and 12 weeks to put my mind at ease and then DF & I will discuss whether or not we'll have the NT scan done. I already feel bloated and have these strange flutter feelings but not sure whether to read too much into them as i'm only 6weeks 4days. EDD is September 17th.
Not much on this week, DF heads back to Canberra tomorrow for a shorter week of work and should be home Friday evening but anything can change between now and then.

Hello to everyone else

Michelle WOOHOO on the 2nd tri hun ;)

Sequioa I hope today went well for you :hug:

Jo :happybirthday: to your DD for yesterday. I hope you all had a lovely day. Oh and I'd be telling your DR to give you the paperwork you need for a scan asap too ;)

BW Thinking of you today. Anniversaries are so very hard :hug:

Lisa Wow I want to see pics of DD all dressed up next weekend :) I'm sure she'll be gorgeous as she is already ;)

Hi to everyone. I'd better get off here as we are starting to get a storm and I hate being on here when they happen. I'll pop back in tomorrow to catch up with you all.

Yay for 2nd trimester Michelle! Was nice seeing you again tonight (even if we did waste your time :lol: )

Argh I hate to vent over petty things all things considered but Im sure youll all forgive me!
Uni changed the bloody timetable and didnt bother to send emails out. Hopefully they wont do it again because now Im going to have to go and beg daycare for another day; otherwise Im going to have to fork out ridiculous amounts of $$ for a nanny on top of childcare *sigh* Some days I wonder why I thought this was ever doable, Im already tired of it and it hasnt even started yet. Upside is Tues and Wed will be 9-2 so not full days which should lessen the guilt of leaving them (but esp poor Stell) in care 3 days a week *sigh*

Freya - I feel for you, it's damm hard organising childcare around rigid timetables, especially when availability is pretty much zero! I think you are amazing for taking this plunge, although it'll be tricky to organise at time, so worth it in the long run - improving ourselves I think makes us better parents ultimately. I plan on keeping on with my cert iv in massage starting back in July - unsure about childcare, but thinking a nanny might be the go depending on the $$.

Michelle - I'll second that woo hoo on the second tri!! How are you holding up, glad you are feeling some kicks so soon! Hope you are currently sleeping (where I SHOULD BE lol !!)

Bek - hugs hon xoxoxoxo

Lisa - pace yourself this week girl!

Mako - how you doing, I love a good storm, don't get enough of them in Hobart!

Spring - how's your gorgeous little menfolk???

Gotta tell you ladies, I'm SO IN LOVE with Flynn - he's chubbing up and filling out and smiling - told DH, those early first smiles would surely melt the coldest of hearts????? I think also knowing he is my last bub, I just love him that little bit more :)

Nitey nites now!!

Lee xo

Lee, I didn't last very long with BF and Grayson took to it really well. I had a very hard time getting in a comfortable position after the c-section and pumping was a pain. I really wish that I could have gone longer but I did the best that I could at the time.

Michelle, yay! for second trimester. Good luck at the endocrinologist.

Sequoia, I hope everything went well with your procedure.

Bonham08, I would let your doctor know that you would like a scan. My OB was great about that. He would always tell me "whatever is going to make this easier for you". I think he didn't like all of the tears when he didn't give me what I wanted :D

LisaL, it sounds like you have a really full week. Make sure that you take care of yourself and rest lots.

Kel, I hope that a good cry and rest helped a little. :hug:




Grayson slept great lastnight, first time in 2 weeks! I had to wake him this morning! I noticed a big front tooth coming through yesterday. I think that was part of the sleeping problem.

Freya - Oh no, sounds like a right pain that CC, hope you can get it all sorted OK.

mako - Good storm last night hey? :o

Bonham - I hope your dr will give you an early scan, I know mine was happy to. I ended up having one at 8, 10 and 12 weeks to try and stop me worrying too much. Try not to stress too much, easier said than done I know.

Bek - :hug:

Lisa - Hope you have a good week, sounds like a big one!

Michelle - Happy 2nd tri :)

Kelly - :hug: hun, I felt a bit like that after my m/c when things went back to "normal". I hope you are feeling a little better after your cry and a rest.

Willow - I'm so sorry about your Nan :hug:

AFU, well a shocking night's sleep last night. DD1 was up until 2am freaking about the storm, poor thing they stress her out a bit. And DD2 decided that about 5 feeds were in order, so I'm feeling just a bit wiped out today. The joys :doh: although I wouldn't change it in some ways. Hopefully though I can catch a few zzzz this afternoon seeing as DH is at home though! Have a lovely Australia Day everyone.

Thanks so much guys. I have to say that I am starting to feel a little better. I managed to make myself get on with things yesterday (even though all I really wanted to do was curl up and lie on the couch all day). So I'm very proud of myself for getting heaps done around the house. I have to be fair to DS aswell... he doesn't understand what's going on. And.. we had a really good sleep last night. Thank god. Although DS was up at about 4am, then came into our bed at 5am... he then slept until 9am!!! That has NEVER happened to us before, so we're pretty happy!! I guess he's still adjusting to the time difference, it's certainly better coming back this way!!

So with all the sleep and crying.. I'm starting to feel human again. I know it's going to be a long road.. with so many things happening in our lives but I'm trying hard to stay strong. I'm sure it will improve once Playgroups start up again next week and I start having things to do again. Then we've got heaps of visitors coming over to see us in the next few months, so that will be amazing.

Just hanging out for my OB appointment on Thursday avo now to see what the plan is moving forward. We need to work out what's causing all my m/c. So far, we don't have any reason behind them.. but now that we've had 3.. it's time to do some more investigating. There has to be a reason and I'm not prepared to wait.. I just can't keep going through this.. not in a new state with no family support.

Well.. must go.. it's aready after 10am and we are in our pj's still and haven't even had breakfast!! So weird. Will try and pop back later for personals.

Kel xxx

I typed up a long reply earlier - then my internet connection dropped out and I lost it. Grrrr. Not in the mood, now.

Anniversaries are hard. I'm glad to have the support of those who understand, but so sad that there are so many of us who do. :(

Tomorrow things will feel better... tomorrow I go back to work for the first time since the 12th of December 2008. It's been such a long time! I think it may just be a case of the sadness at leaving Sam will overwhelm any other sadness I feel, but I'm sure it will all get easier in time.

Sending a load of :hug: to all that need them.

BW

Congratulations Michelle! 1 trimester down 2 to go! :happyforyou: How are you holding up? De Nile is beautiful at this time of year - & I believe those waters are magical! xxx

Kelly - good on you for getting some things done. I really hope you consider seeing Dr S... He really knows his stuff. Without his regime I know that I wouldn't have Immy. :hug:
A consult is really worth it's weight in gold. :hug:

Butterfly: Goodluck tomorrow with your first day at work!

Megs: Was there a big storm where you are? We haven't had rain up here in Sunny Qld for weeks now & we need some again...

Freya: Once you sort out your cc and begin your course it will all fall into place & become the new "normal" for your life. It is doable and you can do this! :hug:

Lee: I understand how you feel with Flynn - I feel the same way with Imogen. I think the sun rises and sets in her!!! :redface: Nothing is too hard or too much trouble. I think it's a combination of like you knowing she's my last baby and the lengths I went to to hold her. Her struggle to live and the bliss of having her here has never faded for me... So, I get it! :hug:

Laney: What a smart boy Grayson is with a new toothy peg! I am glad he slept better for youlast night... :hug:

Well I am grieving that today is the last day of school holidays. I can't believe that they are over. We have had such a nice break. Sleeping in, reading books, beach trips... It's been so lovely. Tomorrow we have to hit the ground running again! DD5 begins grade1, DD7 grade 2 & Finn grade 4! Some mornings it is bedlam trying to get us all out the door on time... I am not looking forward to the mad morning rush again! I am going to miss them all here all day... :cry: I love spending time with them & the Christmas break is such a nice long one... Never mind...

The geneticist phoned yesterday - Immy's results are in & he wants to see us next Thursday at 10am... I hope he has some answers.

BBL

Michelle - Yey on the 2nd trimester. I've been thinking a lot about Omar and I just know he is ok hun.

Deb - Enjoy your last day of hols. How do you keep the kids occupied and stop them from fighting all day?? I am struggling with my 2 older ones atm. Goodluck for Thursday

Freya - I know all will fall into place with cc.

Kelly - Glad you are feeling a bit better. I hope you get some answers

Janie - How you doing?

Lee - I had tears when I wrote about how much you are lovin Flynn atm.
Hi to all.