Parenting After Miscarriage or Loss - January 2010

[LisaL]

Hi ladies,

So hard to keep up with everyone atm so forgive me for the brief personals..

Willow - aww hun this is such a difficult time for the whole family. Ive been there before sweety and its heartwrenching but try to spend as much time with nan as you can. Its the memories that will last you a lifetime

Deb - Immy sounds sooo adorable, and if you move down here then im sure going to give that precious little princess a big hug myself. I understand what you mean about the circle being complete and she sure has come a long way, so have you my dear.

Rach - what a fitting name for your business - wishing it all goes well hun.

Anna - bugger about af! Im sure the kids will love a pup - not sure how mummy will be with another littlie to look after

Janie - how are you today?? Im getting lots of lower back and period type pain to the point where i think labour is imminent - with me i think its purely b/c its baby no. 2 and im not getting much rest, but i feel like this one is going to fly out..

Bek - thanks for the advice hun, id better get cracking on RLT!

AFM - not much going on other than im freaking out that im sooo not ready at home yet, the spare room / office needs a make over as DH will be sleeping in there while bubs is in my room with me and we dont have the cradle set up or a big girl bed ready for Miss A and ive only bought two outfits for bub and a couple of singlets. Im going to make a list of what i have to do and enlist the help of mum and a couple of friends to help me clean clean clean!!

Hope your all having a super weekend, and hugs to all, even those ive missed

Lis xx

[mako]

Hi girls.
I have a question for you all

AF decided to show up earlier so it has got me thinking about whether or not I should start taking Clomid now or should I wait until I see my Ob in just under 2 weeks time? I'm not sure if it would do any harm in taking it this cycle or if I should just wait. I really want to be pregnant again and am ready to be pregnant but just not sure if this medication can be taken so close to having a m/c. So I guess what I'm asking is would you take it before seeing your Ob or would you wait to see what the Ob suggests?

Sorry if that seems all over the place but just want your thoughts

[Michelle71]

I would - but I'm the wrong one to ask

[Inanna]

Me too - but I am the Queen of self medication!

[Michelle71]

I knew you would answer the same Deb

[Freya]

Id do it Mako. I had a m/c the cycle before we conceived Ripley and my OB put me on clomid that cycle after. Im pretty sure you'd be fine to take it if you want to.

[mako]

Thanks girls I'm seriously thinking about taking it and just get my ob to write a pathology referral when I see her.

Freya I hope af is being nicer to you than she is to me atm. The tummy and back pain is killing me so far. I hope it eases off soon cos it's driving me mad

[Janie]

Hey Mako I think if it were me, I would ring my Ob and check. I'm sure that it will be fine to take it, but I would want that peace of mind, IYKWIM? But hey, many others would just take it so if you feel comfortable with it, then go for it!!!! But if you're hesitating, just give her a call and ask

[butterfly_warrior]

Mako, I'm another self-medicator and would be fairly likely to jump onto the clomid.

But... I always had the strong suspicion that I had an auto-immune issue going on (just simply from other health issues I have) and for quite a while was adamant that I would see Dr S before we started IVF. I was talked out of it in the end... and have regretted it ever since. If I'd followed his treatment plan with my first pregnancy, then there's a chance I would not have miscarried (part of his plan was to stay on metformin at least through first trimester - I lost my first baby when my GP talked me into reducing my dose of metformin) and I don't think I can ever get that out of my head...

So, while part of me would be wanting to take the clomid and just hurry up the process of getting pregnant ASAP, there's another part of me that would be very reluctant to do it until I'd had all the testing in the book done just to be sure. I'm certainly not going to say don't take it, but I thought I'd put my story out there to give you some more to think on. I don't know where you're at with the Dr S plan these days, though.

Us - still plodding along. Completely freaked out about going back to work on Wednesday, but Sam appears to have survived his first day of daycare ok on Friday. Really stuck with deciding what to do about his testicle issue. Just can't make a decision on where to go from here - don't know that I feel comfortable just watching and waiting for another 6 months, but also not very comfortable about what could end up being unnecessary surgery if I push the issue now... If it were me and my body I think it would be easier to decide - it's just overwhelming to be entrusting with the responsibility of making these decisioins for another human being.

BW

[nicjay]

Mako, I'm sure it would be fine to take it too. I started back on Clomid as soon as AF arrived after my m/c. But having said that, I would personally (not saying that you should listen to me or anything LOL) not take it without talking to my dr. But hey, I'm ultra conservative with taking any medication too Can you ring her in the morning?

Good luck hun

[Willow]

Mako - Sorry babe, but I'm with BW on this one. I would wait until you've seen your ob/Dr S before *I* tried to fall prg again, however, the choice is of course yours. I just think it's pretty likely that they will want to try a new protocol with you and I don't want you to ever have any regrets or any more 'what ifs'. I truly understand the desire to be pregnant again, I really do, but I would wait.

I know that if you do go ahead and see Dr S he will advise you to wait until he's done all the testing he will want to do. He is very thorough.

[~Jayne~]

MAKO _ Do you think you could just give your OB a call tomorrow & doubly check? You know things better than anybody, but sometimes just better to make sure you're OB is on the same page & same train of thinking as you?? How is the jump-jump going? LOL I love he is dedicated to his trampoline, mine are as well. We are up for replacing our net already though as Jess thinks it's hilarious to jump off the nets as well as cartwheel into them, which isn't really the intended purpose of the net. I'm not very happy about it, but it's something that has to be done. I'm just spewing it's buggered after only 13 months!

WILLOW _ How's things on your home front? How's the kids? I hope D begins to sleep properly again soon. Maybe he knows that you are stressed out & he's picking up on that?

BW _ So glad you survived your first day back at school!! Did your brain feel tired when you got home or was it buzzing with excitement? YAY for a good day with daycare as well!

SPRING _ Banjo is banished. Freaking thing digging a monster hole every time I go out. Even if it's just for half an hour! It's not boredom it's separation issues I think. Have been wondering if perhaps i left him inside when I went out, what damage would be done as he just chills out under our table. It's the same hole he keeps re-digging & it's driving me insane. I put the kids climbing frame over the top so he just dug around it & so now I have put the bunny play pen all the way around the 'problem' area, so lets see if that helps. How are things going with you? You are sounding so in love & I LOVE IT! Good on you. Ben seems a very happy & contended little man, as does his big brother. It's fantastic to hear!

KEL _ Hope you made it back to Mel safely & sanely! THanks so much for the catch up! Had a fantastic time & little Luke is just adorable! I love how he asks for Claudia as 'the little girl' when she is bigger than him. LOL

AFM _ Took Jess for her back to school haircut today, so she is loving herself stupid. Thnking about taking the kiddies out to tea tonight, just have to wrangle some friends!

Love Jayne xx

[Freya]

AFM _ Took Jess for her back to school haircut today, so she is loving herself stupid.

I love the way you think Jayne!

[Willow]

Jayne - D has been perfect today. I *think* I see another tooth sitting in his bottom gum so maybe that's what has been bothering him. Or the 40+ heat yesterday Hoping for a much better night tonight because he's been so settled all day but kinda not holding my breath either!

[kellym]

Hello!

Just a quick one.. we're back home in Melbourne and I haven't had time to catch up on everything yet. Will attempt to do so over the next couple of days and will try and finally do some more personals!!

The flight home was ok.. DS literally fell asleep 2 mintues before landing.. wtf?? He stayed asleep through the landing (sitting up in his seat, with seat belt on and all) and I had to manage two bags of hand luggage and sleeping toddler!! It was a challenge and a half, that's for sure. He stayed asleep though, until we finally got back to the car and he woke up! Bought our dog home too, so it's nice to have him here... but I got really emotional... I think it's all real now.. the whole family is here and I couldn't hold the tears back.. not sure if they were sad or happy tears.. weird. I think I was a bit sad about the m/c too... we're just missing that 2nd baby now.

Anyway must go.. need to try and get DS to bed.. this time difference thing is killing me!

Talk soon.

Kel xxx

[Michelle71]

Kel - apparently it is the relative lack of oxygen and the descent that puts them to sleep. My two did exactly the same thing flying into Melbourne and back again Glad to hear you are home - even if it is bittersweet

Sending sleep vibes out to all households tonight - especially mine!!!!

I am sooooooooo tired. Between Omar and the little people not liking to sleep soundly until after 3am I am knackered. Add some stress and we are having a doozy. Snooze on the lounge while my friend kept them occupied and then instantly fell asleep this evening when DH got home from work - until DD hit me in the head with a maracca because I wasn't paying attention to her Finishing dinner then I think it is back to bed for me.

Work over the next 2 days, Mum and Dad coming down tomorrow for a follow up appointment on Wednesday and I am back to see the endocrinologist on the same day too. No doubt looking at my fasting BSL's I will be back onto insulin and monitoring every day from now until delivery

[kellym]

Thanks Michelle.

Oh guys.. I'm so sorry to do this again but there lots of tears here right now and I don't really know what I'm crying about. Poor DH doesn't know what to do and DS isn't going to sleep.. not helping as it's 9.30pm already!! I don't know if it's being back 'home' with our dog now and having our complete family here... and missing the bub that we should have on the way by now.. or if I'm missing my Mum already, or if I'm just scared because it's all so real now... being in a new state, or if it's because I don't have anything to do all of a sudden, after a busy two weeks. I just can't really stop the tears right now and feel a bit sick.

I think I just need a good sleep and hopefully will feel better tomorrow. Sorry guys.

Kel xxx

[Michelle71]

Kel - I think, to some extent, you held some of your grief in while you were away It is a cleansing cry letting out a whole range of emotions. The finality of your move, the loss of your baby, missing family, being tired etc etc Just tell DH he doesn't need to do / say anything. All he needs to do is hold you while you let it all out

I need one of those crying sessions too