Parenting after Miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

[Willow]

Yes Jayney, we're moving 2 hours up the north coast, very close to where Mako is V will be changing schools, which I am nervous about. But I figure she is a pretty easy going and adaptable kid, so it'll probably be me who doesn't cope with the change! LOL Especially because I have now made some pretty good friends with some of the mums at school. It has made such a difference for me, having that adult interaction on a daily basis and I will miss it.

[Michelle71]

Willow - I don't talk to anyone much at the moment so it really isn't you. I promise. I am just finding it hard some days to talk. It is hard work to be human when I just don't feel like getting out of my shell. And as the days and months pass by I feel like people won't want to hear about my world and I don't want to burden them either. There is limited sunshine at the moment and I hate making others blue with me. Don't give up on me - you have no idea how important it has been to have you and Freya and Mako around locally. Even if we don't get to see each other often.

Thanks girls. Where would I be without you It is just another rough month. Hell - every month is rough, this one just sucks lemons. And facing the imminent need to get my gorgeous, sensitive little man some help to make sure he is going to be ok in the long term is hurting. I wish I could make him feel secure and safe but at the moment he is scared and worried I am going to leave too or something is going to happen to me. He is three. This shouldn't even be on his radar

Anyway - I will pop in and out. One day at a time. Jayne - I will see you on skype

[mako]

Jayne I have to say I love your new profile thingy and look at your ticker!! Well Done. You are doing soooooo well.

Willow I will do my absolute best to help keep you busy enough to stop you feeling homesick I just hope I get to change my career path in the very near future so I can earn more money but work less days and after chatting to an old friend from school it just looks like that may very well just happen..Just keep your fingers crossed that this new path works out for me even with still ttc.
I will fill you in on this as I find out more hopefully tomorrow and see if it is actually doable financially to begin with.

Michelle I want to wish you a Happy Birthday for tomorrow. I can only imagine that it will be another tough day for you but please know you will be in my thoughts and I hope you have some friends or family around to make the day as enjoyable as it possibly can be for you at this time.( I know probably not the right words but hopefully you know what I mean )
Big for Oscar too. I wish all this was so very different for you all

Hi to everyone. I hope you and your little ones are all ok.

[BekZ]

Michelle on this day your Birthday I wish for a little ray of sunshine to appear to warm and comfort you. Happy Birthday hun, you'll be in thoughts all day, like you are so very often. xxoo

Hugs to all

[Willow]

Oh Michelle, please hun, you certainly do not need to offer me any sort of explanation. I can't even begin to imagine what each day is like for you. I didn't mean anything by that at all, just that I wanted you to know that even when weeks pass by and I haven't spoken to you, you and the babies are very often in my thoughts. Give up on you? Not gonna happen

Happy birthday babe I wish you a tiny bit of peace and comfort today.

[~Jayne~]

Happy Birthday to my beautiful friend Michelle. May you be able to soak up even just a tiny bit of warmth of Greg today. Know he is always with you. I think of you so much & feel so stupid because I just can't find the words to say that will make things all ok.

[~Jayne~]

Sorry ladies, I just HAD to brag.......... Jessica came home from school today & is writing some words in chinese symbols!!!!!

[Janie]

Oh man, I finally get some PC time, and what do I do, I waste it on ebay Too much goodness on there (and also some effing ugly shoes ). I want to do personals, but I want to do them for EVERYONE, and well, we know how long that will take. Hello to ALL of my lovelies, I will endeavor to get back in here over the weekend and post properly. And you know I'll be back soon, because we have a big week coming up ladies, with a very special little bubba arriving

Jayne, that is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!

Love to all xoxo

[kellym]

Poo... I just did a really long post with lots of personals and LOST IT!!!! Not happy. Ok here goes again (sorry, it won't be nearly as long this time)...

Eeeekkkkkk... that very special little bub is only 5 days away now!!! I can't believe it and am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed and underprepared!!! It's such an incredible time and I'm trying to soak it all up as much as I can. After everything we've been through, we're finally going to get this little one in our arms and I couldn't be happier. I'm trying so hard to enjoy this special time, not only for me, but for everyone in here too as I know how lucky I am to be in this position.. and god knows we need something to celebrate in here!! So I'm glad I'm able to provide that!! It's so strange, knowing the date and everything... I'm so glad now that I don't know the sex as at least we've still got that to 'speculate' about!! My days seem to be full of 'lasts' atm... the last full day with just Luke and I, the last weekend with just Ryann, Luke and I... and so on... it's very strange but very exciting. I think Luke understands and ever morning and every night, we count down on our fingers the number of days left before we get to meet the baby! It's very cute. Mum arrives on Monday, so I'm trying to focus on that to start with, then on the baby coming!! Amazing.

Jayne - Woo Hoo to Jess... how fantastic!! She's a very clever little pumpkin!! Sounds like she's loving it over there. And don't worry, you're absolutely on the 'to text' list when the baby is born!! Not sure what the time difference is in China but too bad woman.. you'll get the message when the baby comes out!! LOL.

Michelle - I'm so glad you're birthday turned out to be ok. I was thinking of you all day, knowing it was going to be a tough one for you (as I guess every single day is in it's own way). I'm just really glad I'll be able to give you something to smile about on Thursday!!!

Well... that's as far as I'm going to get I think... I'm getting yelled at from the other room.. have been trying to ignore it but it's getting worse and I can't handle another massive tantrum right now.. so best I be off to calm the situation down - LOL. I already feel like a bad mother after a visit to the health nurse this week... where she discovered some cavities in his teeth!!! NOT HAPPY!! I'm so glad I had Janie to calm me down a bit - LOL. We're off to the dentist in a couple of weeks so will see what they say!

Love to you all.

Kel xxxxx

[~Jayne~]

so so so so so so excited Kelly!!

[Freya]

so so so so so so excited Kelly!!

Ditto!!!

Im lurking, have a 3000 word essay due monday night and not alot of interest in doing it. Add to that a few life issues and things are full on. Im thinking of you all though

[~Jayne~]

Oh Freya, I have just been thinking about YOU! Wondered where my little 'side order' of action has been!!!
My e-mail is working, but of course no FB, so e-mail away (or PM), if you need me!
xxx

[Lee]

Kelly - just dropping to to say HOORAY FREAKING HOORAY to you babe - the arrival of a new bubby is indeed one of the most special things you can experience..... we are all hanging with you as you enjoy your last few days of pregnancy! You are SO strong for not finding out the gender, a stronger woman than I lol...!

Freya - I just did my last assignment too, and have 2 clinics left, then I'm done - and will FINALLY receive my qualification - will be incredibly relieved! You'll get there - it's so hard doing anything extra for yourself with kidlets on the go! Hope you are feeling okay hon, any update on 'where you are at'?

I'm too tired to write any more..... mum leaves tomorrow - it's been a blessing and a curse as always.... back to solo, and dial a pizza I reckon!

Love to all, Lee xox

[Willow]

Oooooh, I didn't realise we knew the arrival date - that is exciting!!

[kellym]

Willow - I was going to keep it as a surprise but I'm bloody hopeless and couldn't help myself!!! LOL... it's too damn exciting!!!

[butterfly_warrior]

Just a quick hello from me.

I am a walking zombie today - Sam decided to bathe us in spew at around 2am last night. Cue showers and bed change... I'm having insomnia issues on top of that so today I have functioned on about 3.5 hours sleep. Blergh!

But the arthritis appears to be settling and I'm starting to crawl out of my hole a bit. Managed a brief phone chat with my mum this evening. But it's a slow process and everything at this point is down to the weather clearing a bit. Still about another 6 weeks before I can expect medication help.

Going to go to bed now. And hope that this time I'm actually able to sleep.

BW

[~Jayne~]

Oh BW, I hope it's just a random upset tummy from Sam & tonight you get a better night's rest. You poor love, you can't seem to catch a break! I really hope you get some sleep, I'm assuming rest is one of the better options to help ease the arthritis while you are waiting for the meds to kick in.

Geepers, looks at his ticker, he's going to be 2 before you can even blink! lol. Amazing how time flies!!!

AFM _ Great weekend here, lazy, lazy, lazy day yesterday in our pj's til lunch time, Skype date to clap eyes on my lovely little niece Lacey after lunch, took the girls for a walk through the shops & got them a fantastic magnetic fishing game, then home & chilled out til Alan got home from work. Dinner out last night, then onto the NY Bar, which my girls both got their groove on to the band!!! I think it might be in there genes, bahahaha. Today was breaky at the crowne, then we went ice skating & then just to a little pizza place for dinner. Bliss!!! All the leaves here are turning yellow, orange, red & brown & it's all so pretty! I can't believe how beautiful it is watching them change like that. Some trees are pretty bare here now, so reminds me that it's going to get VERY cold & VERY soon!

Love Jayne xx

[butterfly_warrior]

I know! It's going way too fast! Michelle and I will have two year olds very soon! I'm not coping with the fact that he's growing up so fast... But he's so affectionate and caring. I have hope that when he's a bit older I will actually feel able to manage a second child just because he's so keen and eager to help out!

And yep, rest is the order of the day. Partly because the RA effects energy levels, partly because doing too much makes it worse. Just waiting for the day my hands go down and I can wear my rings again.

Sam's been completely fine, thankfully! So I'm putting my one episode of stomach awfulness down to methotrexate side effects and ending our isolation and going to play group this morning. He can run around outside and I can sit inside and rest. There's always someone willing to help and I need the social contact after missing church yesterday!

Kelly, I must have missed the actual date. Can't be too much longer looking at that ticker of yours!

BW