Lulu - thanks for the suggestions. I try and keep pretty balanced with how I talk to her but obviously I need to be more conscious and drop anything to do with looks. She came in this morning asking me if she looked beautiful (she had got herself dressed for a birthday we have this morning). I said 'I love the clothes you have chosen and you've done a great job getting dressed'. But I think I probably would have usually said 'yes, you look lovely'. Time to take a good hard look at ourselves and our parenting I think. (And I'm guilty of being a bit free and easy with brackets too! They're so useful )

Lady Zaidie - I asked her why she doesn't like herself and she just said 'I don't like myself in the mirror' when I said why, she just said 'Because' and didn't want to talk about it Good idea about asking her if she agrees. I will try that next time.