Why am I this way?

[rosehannah]

I don't remember when it started, but I struggle with having a peaceful relation with my mum. I think about it a lot and it is effecting my relationship with my DH and my children. If anyone asks me what I want, then it would be to have a happy family where everyone gets along. (This is not going to happen I fear as there are too many strong willed family members who live in the past). When I was eight mum and dad divorced and this was a really hard thing for me and my sister to go through.(I chose not to go into details as it is unnecessary). I think that a lot of people say that they don't want to make the same mistakes as their parent did, mum does,I do, but I fear that I dwell on them to much and that those worries live so close to the surface that I panic if I see any signs of them in me. I have heard it said that if you concentrate on the negatives, then negative things will happen, so I do try to find good things in mum like, she is giving of her time and she loves us, its just that we clash in our way of doing things and our opinions on things, I struggle to find common ground. We have had several frank discussions and it has helped in some ways, and we are both making a effort to get along.
Sorry if this is a little disjointed but I had to deal with a pootainment issue from DD2 in the middle of this LOL, thanks for reading