Rosehannah,

I think that because you seem to be very self aware, you are likely to be the generation that does NOT repeat the mistakes that you feel your Mum made. You are conscious of how it things impacted on your childhood, and seem pretty determined not to have history repeat?

I have heard it said that if you concentrate on the negatives, then negative things will happen
I kind of believe this too, so am super paranoid about conjuring up negative images/thoughts.

All I can suggest to combat this is make sure you have a positive "replacement image or thought" to combat your memories/thoughts of worrying behaviours?

Does that make sense??! LOL!

For example, my mother, sadly, is dependant on alcohol. I have tendencies to be tempted to be a lush too. And it scares me witless that I may be even close to repeating history. I had a big weekend last weekend (and had a fair few vodkas) and spent the whole journey home totally paranoid I was turning into my mother. Then I realised that it was the first time I had had a few drinks in nearly 2 years. And I "replaced" the image of myself as a lush with the image of me playing with the kids bed every morning with peachy skin, no hangover, and zero dependence, which is, I realise, a much more accurate portrayal.

I am rambling. Sorry.

Needless to say I have a pretty tricky relationship with my Mum that is a thorn in my side, so I totally empathise with you there.

Good luck. Your self awareness will be your strength.