Rosehannah - I can totally understand where you are coming from. I had a very volatile relationship with my mother, we never got along and she really wasn't very loving or maternal to me and my younger brother. Then she had my other brother, who was born when I was 12 and she totally doted on him. She one day decided that she was going to leave my dad and she did, just packed up without saying a word to anyone and left the country. My brother was nearly 13 when this happened and thankfully he and I have an excellent relationship and he got through it. I haven't seen or heard from my mother in over 8 years and I have just got on with my life.

I am so determined not to be like her, that sometimes I think it consumes me a bit. I make extra sure that my girls know they are loved for who they are and both DH and I are proud of them.

Like you said, we are bound to make our own mistakes but thats OK. At least knowing what not to do, will help us have the happy families we deserve. Don't try and change the way you are, we have a past for a reason and I'm sure you won't have to worry about repeating any of your mums mistakes.

Sounds like you have a great family too.