I've been in a similar situation to you Bec, in that I worry that other people have perfect children, and there's Jacob throwing a monumental tanty. I ask myself "where did we go wrong?"

It's not until a day or two after the event that I realise that we haven't done anything wrong as parents - we always put our children's needs first and try to set the right example. What Jacob does is simply what a lot of toddlers do - I remind myself of this a lot (of course I still have meltdowns!)

There's been many a time when I'd have Jacob at playgroup and he'd throw a wobbly - throw himself down on the hard floor, kick, scream, hit me, bang his head on the ground - all the while others were playing happily, not making a fuss, and I'd have other parents staring at Jacob and I and whispering amongst themselves. It was awful. Personally if another child is throwing a tantrum where we are, I just ignore it - much better for all involved I think.

Jacob also had issues with communicating and was a bit on the later side to start talking, so a lot of his tantrums at that point, stemmed from not being able to communicate effectively, and from us misinterpreting whatever other signals he was trying to give us. In the end he started walking over to his stroller and sitting in it - that was his cue that he'd had enough and wanted to go home!

It was a whole new world once he started talking.

Now we still have tantrums, but it's because he's pushing boundaries and wanting things he can't have. Those kind of tantrums I am much more tolerant of because I know what they are about. Sure some of them might be a bit peculiar (perhaps I rubbed a moon we had drawn, off the blackboard when I shouldn't have done LOL) but at the end of the day, I do know what they are about and we can problem solve and negotiate.

The other thing too I found, is finding an activity that is suitable for Jacob. I found that playgroup just wasn't his bag at all - he's so physically active that he needed something more than playgroup where they sit and do playdough, painting (he dislikes having his hands dirty and freaks out with paint LOL) etc. So now he goes to Kindergym instead and what do you know - a lot less tanties! Sure we have them because he doesn't want to get off the trampoline or something, but overall, he enjoys Kindergym IMMENSELY and it's much more appropriate for him. Do you think it's possible that sometimes Eliza isn't enjoying where she is or what she's doing??

Jacob's latest trick is that he is refusing to say please. Instead, he will pat you gently on the head/face/shoulder/leg, give you a big kiss and cuddle whilst smiling ever so sweetly, thinking that that alone will suffice. So he's being 'nicely' defiant. Very clever little boy - but it ain't workin'!!

Chin up Bec - you're a great Mum and Eliza sounds like a special little sausage who is asserting her very unique personality.