Oh darl, big 's to you.

Your doing a wonderful job, it's so hard not to loose it at times they just push and push and push until finally we snap and the do get a smack, as a last resort.
I know you are doing the coin thing which is fantastic and its great that she looks forward to getting her coin at night-provided she has behaved. Have you though about doing a rewards chart to coincide with the coin giving at the end of the day....so she can stick stickers on here chart throughout the day to reward the good behaviour then at the end of the day she can count up her stickers and you can give her the coins based on our many stickers she has, if she is naughty then take a sticker off...ykwim?
I really hope DD starts to understand soon what she is doing is wrong and not only that her behaviour is unsetting you too.

Thinking of you x