I have been where you are.... it does get better she will start to understand... it does normally take, a very strong teacher type person to knock it into them... Kindy will help next year, and even better school the year after... ATM she is testing the bounderys and waiting for a weak spot...

your sweet little girl will come back to you, soon, until til then keep doing what your doing, as its the only thing you can do... if there is ever a small little ' good ' thing even if it is very small, be very quick to notice and reward it...

I hope you manage to get though all this...