I have been a mum for nearly 15 years and I still don't know how to handle this properly. I think essentially you have to deal with each scenario differently as it arises. With your pregnant friend you will have to gauge how receptive she is to a bit of reality... she might just not be interested. I have learned that you can't make people interested sometimes. Maybe in times past people would sit around the fire and share their stories and realise that the challenges were similar and therefore be more supportive... but I think that these days people want to be allowed to dream more. We get very protective of our dreams and hopes for the future. We are told that we have so much more control these days (than in times past) and so therefore we are more determined that this new control will mean that no one can tell us that something might not happen... "by God we'll make it happen". I don't know if I'm explaining it very well. Of course not all people are like that. There are still realists and people who are open-minded and actually curious about the lives of others... but most of us are very self absorbed and more focused on we want rather than hearing of other people's troubles. Some people can get quite resentful if you bring the mood down... they call it "negativity". sorry for the ramble. It's a very thought provoking issue. I don't have a definitive answer other than to assess your friend's receptivity. Try to avoid being too annoyed if she wants to live the dream... that's fair enough. Maybe, if she is not receptive, wait for another chance to debrief... BB is always for good it I'll always listen LOL