As a mother you are supposed to say your child is wonderful, perfect, the most amazing thing you have ever done with your life. You aren't supposed to admit that as a newborn he or she was actually quite ugly (in retrospect, of course) or that sometimes you don't feel like picking them up when they cling to you. But you are not abnormal if you feel these things.
Anna I have quoted this passage from Adrienne Rich's book, "Of Woman Born : Motherhood as Experience and Institution" so many times I think it should be in my signature:
My children bring me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between bitter resentment and raw edged nerves, and blissful gratification and tenderness. Sometimes I seem to myself, in my feelings towards these tiny guiltless beings, a monster of selfishness and intolerance ... I love them. But its in the enormity and inevitability of this love that the sufferings lie.




) or that sometimes you don't feel like picking them up when they cling to you. But you are not abnormal if you feel these things.
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