Well the time has come, my maternity leave is offically finished and I'm now at the start of my first week back in paid employment. I am going back three days a week, the kids will be in CC for two days (10-15 hours depending on my shifts) and one day at home with daddy.
I'm sitting here in tears absolutely panicked about how I am going to cope/manage and still be a good mummy, wife, worker and somehow still me. i struggle to keep ontop of everything (playing with my kids, spending time with DH, doing the housework) now when I'm a full time stay at home mum so how am I going to do it when I'm home part time and not having to spend all of my days off doing the housework and not getting any time with my kids? I'm terrified I'm not going to have anytime to just play with them.
I have to go back to work - I've got no choice on this unfortunately. Our savings are all gone and unless I go back we will end up in a big financial mess. I can at least go to work knowing that I'm helping keep a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs and food in their tummies but I'm not going to be there to tuck them in and give them a kiss goodnight .
I've had to buy formula because I haven't been able to get enough breast milk stored so I'm not going to be able to keep up with Will's needs. DD weaned as soon as I went back to work and I'm praying that DS isn't going to and I'll be able to keep up with his demands.
I am just feeling like crap because I'm doubting myself because some stupid woman called me selfish because I had kids without being willing to give up a measley 5 years of my life to stay at home with them. Why did I even have kids when I wasn't going to be around to raise them. Talk about a kick in the guts!
I guess I'm just terrified of what is ahead and how we are all going to adjust, all the time with my kiddies that I'm going to miss. So all you working mummies/parents out there how do you fit it all in?? How do you work it so you don't spend all your days off doing housework?
Sorry it's so jumbled. I've got a thousand thoughts running through my head and I guess it's safe to assume I'm a feeling a tad emotional, LOL!

TIA,
Dan.