the good thing is that you know it wasn't right & you're not happy that you did it. i agree with audax that maybe she's reaching out to you - not in the way you might hope, but she's trying to capture your attention.

techniques to help you work through anger & calm down would be good (i think i need them too!), and maybe some time out for you as well - you're with the kids all day, every day & i never see you getting time for yourself/a rest. i think you need some time to spend on being you, rather than being mum (i know that's easier said than done but i truly believe you are sooo worth it)