Oooh, two juicy topics!

One, Mrs NB, I've been there too. Thankfully DS and I have a game of me throwing him onto his bed and bottom-smacking is a sign of affection. We have a screwed-up household. I know and I'm OK with that. However, me completely losing my rag and having a tantrum terrified him. It wasn't until I stomped my foot (yes, I did!) that I realised how stupid I was being, laughed at myself and apologised to DS. We got over it. DS didn't provoke me for a while after that. Wonder why...

I have the advantage of having interacted with you quite a bit on these forums and know that this is unusual for you - however, if it's just the owning up that is unusual, it is time to get help. A one-off is usually just that. If you want help, do get it, even if you are normally quite placid. (Although you're not really - maybe you need to dish out more Melly-bashes so it doesn't spill out into IRL?)

Two, I agree with MissEm's posts. What I think people didn't like was the tone. There were no hugs. On an on-line forum, they are the difference between waiting until your father gets home and support. I didn't think MissEm meant anything nasty by her post, just how it was read. Even I read it as slightly blunt, and I come in on spoon-level rather than knife-level, bluntness wise, usually. Apologising without justifying your behaviour is something I want my son to learn, and so that is what I model. I do ask DS why he thinks Mamma was so cross and we then talk about his behaviour - but I still let him know even after we've talked about it that I was very wrong in my reaction and him upsetting me shouldn't result in me scaring him so much.

I will commend Mrs NB on losing it over her book though. I have lost it over DS tearing one of his own books by accident before. But I am a bit precious about books.