This is going to be really disjointed...beware.

We've always have dramas getting DS to sleep and staying asleep.
We co-sleep as since he is awake anywhere up to 15 times a night I would go insane having to actually get up that many times. DH sleeps in the spare bed since he doesn't need that many wakeups and he's scared he'll squash DS. DS doesn't do that cot at all. He goes in and seems to be aware and either wakes instantly screaming like we're pulling his toenails out or lulls me into a false sense of security and sleeps for maybe 10mintues before his eyes spring open and he does the screaming thing. He just will not settle (and this is not through want of trying on my part) in it. I've tried resettling, playtime in it so it's associated with happy times, me being half in it...you name it. So we've just sold it.

He will sleep on our bed, so that's where he sleeps in the day as well.

He is still nursed/cuddled/fed to sleep. I've tried all the techniques we used with DD without success. Since he was born I've been really aware of just going with him and knowing he will get there eventually. I remeber how stressed I got with DD and then when I figured out to chill out so did she, but not DS. I know all kids are different, and that it's only an issue if it's one for me...but that's just it....it is becoming an issue.

DS is SO combative. When you're putting him to sleep, when he's feeding, even when he is asleep. He's always flailing his arms around, kicking, rolling and tossing. Many many times I've thought he's broken my nose and I have more bruises than I care to even count. It's like he just cannot keep still.

You know when you already find something annoying (for me it's fidgeting) and then it happens over and over and over.....and it's akin to water torture every time it happens.

He doesn't sleep for longer than an hour at a time. He does go straight back to sleep with some resettling, but not before he's crawled over me.

I've tried a matress on the floor but that's as bad as the cot....he has to be able to touch me at all times.

The other thing is that he's weaned himself back to one sleep most days - fair enough it's the right age, but then he's exhausted at 'bedtime' (6-7.30ish) and wants to go to sleep. If you don't let him go he just puts his head on your shoulder and sleeps anyway. However, he treats this like a nap! No amount of resettling gets him to go back to sleep after his 45minutes is up. Then he's awake until AT LEAST 10.30, but usually nearly midnight. And it's not a nice awake either. It's a needy, whining, whingy, crying walk around with me time. I have nursed and danced and rocked and swayed and sung etc for hours...all to no avail. He just will not go to sleep.

When He finally goes to sleep, I just want some time on my own so often don't crawl into bed unti after 1am...partly because of the time out factor, partly to do stuff I want to do and partly becasue I know he's only going to wake up in a short time so why bother?

DD then is an early riser (thank goodness she goes to bed at 7.30) and gets up at 6 so add in a million wakeups and I'm seriously getting by on about an hour's sleep. If he's not awake, he's rolling, kicking, tossing and belting into me.

It's causing issues between DH and I. We had a domestic at 4am this morning after i yelled at DS. Instead of pacing the floor to try and calm him, he took him to the spare room and put him on the bed and let him cry.....yeah I'm going to be able to chillout and calm down with that.... For those of who have read some of my past posts, DH and I don't share a true kinship on the whole parenting thing. We have totally opposing views but he's not home enough to make a difference and hasn't really had much to do with the kids until he went on LSL 4months ago - now he thinks he knows best
He thinks we should let DS CIO and when I am defiant he won't listen to reason and thinks all my reasons why are just made up (no he won't read anything to support the theory but that's a vent for another day).

He has shocking separation anxiety. He will not stay with anyone else. Not even DH. I thought he would grow out of it, but no. He has been like this since birth and DH reckons I have made him like that.

I am so desperately unhappy and dread the evenings. Sometimes I just want to put the screaming child down and walk away. I feel so bad for feeling bad thoughts towards him.

I don't really know what I wanted out of this post. Just a vent i guess. If you got this far you are a legend and I should be offering you a hug I think

eta: we have a very strong routine in the arfternoons too. He does know what comes next.