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You're all a help to my fragile self tonight. Thankyou.
H....yes that's what keeps me going. It can't go on forever.
Olive, did you start the failsafe diet? I did look into that, but that is a seriously restrictive (and not particularly nurticious) diet.
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i did look into it but sort of didnt make it past that!! i did change to nuttalex and sometimes get A2 milk but that was it, im going to take DD2 to a nautropath near me that checks for allergies to milk/soy/wheat
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More enormous hugs from me darling.
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Kim, sorry you are having such a difficult time with Nate hun xx What is it with these terrible boys?
My first thought while I read your OP was food intolerances. Taking him to the Chiro or Osteo surely cant hurt either.
As for you and DH not being on the same page when it comes to parenting, I am in the same boat with DH too, sucks big time. We are atm trying to get DS to sleep in his own room but he is coming into our bed several times a night anyway, persistent little beggar! If it were just up to me I would have done the whole gentle/attatched parenting thing the whole way since birth, but its hard when you know your DH doesnt agree with it and is quite miserable sharing your bed with anyone but you. Its a bit like having 2 kids that each want you to themselves really?!!
I hope you are feeling a little less stressed about it all tonight xxxx
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Thankyou my friend Rach.
Woops snap Elissa. Yes that's exactly what it's like.
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Massive hugs! Sleep deprivation is nasty! And cosleeping can be a pain when they're unsettled. I have said some mean things to dd and dh in that half awake half asleep state, when dd is clawing at my top and pinching my face. Urgh. I woke up this morning because dd head butted me and it left a lump!
You are an amazing mummy and when your ds is a grown man, you will know this tough time was worth it, and your love and committment will shine through in him.
It sounds like some more regular breaks would help you. Can you try and get a regular afternoon off, perhaps look at occasional care? A nurtured, well rested mummy is more equipped to deal with a needy bub.
Hugs to you!!
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Amen Anna, that's so true.
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Oh hun
DD also HATES her cot and rarely sleeps in it. Day and night she is in our bed... we put pillows all around the bed and on the floor incase she decides to crawl/roll off the bed.... but we don't have the choice not to leave her there because she hates her cot too. (I always worry she'll fall out of bed but i guess thats a risk we have to take to get her some sleep!)
'Sometimes' she will have a day sleep in the cot, but rarely. It's a miracle when she does!!
DD wakes every 2hrs on average every night and we haven't had more than 3hrs sleep in a row in probably 4mths so I know exactly how you feel......
If she wakes during the night she needs boob to get her back to sleep and screams at me if I don't give it to her.... I try water but she just wants boob. Comfort sucking mainly.
Not actually drinking milk. I am looking at starting her on night weaning soon as I've had enough of no sleep at night time.
DD is generally an unsettled bub too and teething makes her even more extreme!
I know how you feel when you say you don't like evenings because you know you aren't going to get much sleep and it's going to be a struggle to get your DS to sleep... that's how I feel sometimes. It is hard when you put in the effort and they don't want to sleep time after time after time
My DD is asleep at the moment in bed with DH and I should go in too but I know that when i go into bed and start falling asleep she will no doubt wake me so I find it hard going to sleep these days.... I bet you feel that way too??
I find with our bedtime routine, after dinner, bath, boob, books.... I turn off the lights and lie down on our bed with DD in darkness, quietness, no talking and I have to wait til she stops rolling/crawling/kicking/talking/moving etc..... and after about 20-30mins sometimes less she will go to sleep. But then she might wake again few mins later so i'm back in again settling her and sometimes have to go back in again a few times like tonight we did. Other nights she isn't too bad. I'm guessing you've tried lying down to get him to sleep.....
My DD has always been quite clingy too and has had separation anxiety BADLY since 8mths when her sleep went down hill.... she won't settle easily for DH either. She'll scream and scream until I hold her even though i'm right next to her. It's alot of pressure on us Mum's isn't it?
Just letting you know you aren't alone. It must be hard for you though having 2 kids to look after and your DH isn't on the same page as you in terms of parenting styles. That must be very hard. Hoping things turn around for you soon hun..........hang in there.
I've always found with this parenting thing... when i feel like I'm right on the edge like I can't take any more of the sleepless nights etc.... things turn around a bit and I find new ways of coping.... hoping you can do this too my friend.
xoxoxo
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Ren you're right about the edge and turning a corner....here's hoping eh?
Tha'ts exactly the way I feel at bedtime (now is a good example).
Funny DS seems to know where the edge of the bed is. He doesn't roll off no matter how precarious he gets lol.
I have tried laying down but for some reason he takes that as a cue to play....even though the only time he's in bed is to be asleep.
Thankyou my love. I hope your DD figures it out soon too.
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Have you been consistent every night with the lying down thing? I started doing this when DD turned 11mths as the feeding to sleep thing wasn't happening anymore (for that bedtime period anyway)..... it was either lie down with her until she fell asleep OR leave her to scream cos' I refuse to walk halls rocking or patting as she is too heavy now and she just arches her back and screams anyway and fights me. (she's a fighter too - very strong willed!!). Sooooo every night and most of her day sleeps to, I spend time lying with her.... this seems to work for alot of babies this age I believe.
If she wants to muck around and blow raspberries on my tummy (which is pretty cute) but its sleep time, i let her know after 20mins if she hasnt' calmed down i say "it's time to sleep now im going to leave the room so you can sleep. good night" and she might crack up.... sit up and sit there crying on the edge of the bed (she seems to know its the edge of the bed too and wont move forward either) i leave her for say 1-2mins then i go back in, lie her down, and i dont lie back down with her... instead, i kneel on the floor next to her and put my head on a pillow thats next to her (the pillow is positioned between her and the edge of bed) and close my eyes next to her head and she sees me sleeping (just like when we are asleep together co sleeping) and then she realises 'oh ok mummy is serious' and quite often this seems to work and soon enough she will drift off and i walk out once she is asleep..... lately i've started leaving the room sooner and not going in as much when she calls out and she seems to be getting it.... over the course of a few weeks. its gentle parenting and she is not left to scream or cry it out.
and she knows im there for her.
Try that maybe? I hope it makes sense.
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I have been eliminating food by food from Charlie's diet and I came to the conclusion it was a preservative in BREAD that was the issue....... Don't keep anything but Brumbry's bread in the house now and she's chilled.
Huge hugs to the sleep dep hun... it's like being drunk without the buzz hey?
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In many ways, I can totally relate.
Phoebe is an Awesome sleeper at night - unless I am silly enough to do something incredibly inconsiderate like get out of bed. Mummy and the boobie mooks are the only two things in this world that she will go to sleep with. She'll sleep on my chest for hours but only a few minutes if I walk away. When she falls asleep on me, if i try to put her down she wakes up the second her back touches the bed and starts crying. Even my tried and true trick of putting one of my mummy smelling clothes next to or near her doesn't work. She knows the difference.
Basically - I have no answers, but I can feel your pain.
Seems to be a common thread around here these days though. Think the babies know something we dont? LOL
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Hi Kim,
Sorry to hear your having a hard time hun!
Neither of my girls sleep through yet. Sometime we have a good night where they will sleep through but most of the time at least 1 of them wakes up. Briley is the worst. She is notorious for chucking tantrums for no apparent reason in the middle of the night. Its very frustrating.
Have you thought about taking the little guy to the Chiro?
I have heard stories of babies becoming a different person after visiting the chiro.
I have often thought of doing this myself but never have. With Briley's tanties at an all time high I might have to take some of my own advice!
I hope you find a solution soon hun. Sleep deprivation is a bad thing!
Sending loads of hugs your way hun!
x
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Failsafe is quite nutritious, so don't be scared off about that. I have come across many mum's who have found improvement from it. Even just cutting out dairy and soy has been enough for them to have significant improvement in their child. Also they often feel much better in themselves for it.
From my experience I found that no matter how consistent you are if there is something else going on, it won't really work. I had one time with DD1 that we both got gastro, so really did not eat for quite few days. After that she was such a changed child, she was, for want of a better term, an angel child. She ate more, wanted boobie less, the sleep rituals finally worked! Then we started eating again and then bam, back to what she was. I am sure with her that she could tolerate most foods in small doses, but if she had too much of something, then she was hard to deal with.
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Gee that fact that so many of you are suffering from 'acute lack of personal space' as well, makes me feel a bit normal.
Shanti, you are right. I actually used that technique with DD with great success. Thanks for making me remember. I guess in the despeeration my brain just isn't working properly.
Just me, thankyuo hun. This is actually my second one that's this bad. I'm up to nearly four years of it lol. Finally got #1 sleeping and #2 came along.
Astrid, how do you go about figuring out what is the prob? I was actually 'cleaning out' DD's diet (she is such a hyperhead), so I guess I really need to get serious about it for all of us.
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