Well I've completed the dr Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training course (27 hours over 9 weeks) and I couldn't recommend it enough.

Although the techniques don't work on my mother. Apparently she's the world's best parent because she's parented for over 100 years and I've only parented for 7 so she always knows best. But I digress.

I've used the techniques with Alex quite a bit, but I think what's really worked is that I sat him down and explained that having a brother is like having a friend over all the time. He'd just had a kinder friend over, and had an absolute ball. I explained that if he was like that with DS2, then they'd be great friends and could play together lots and lots.

It's been pretty good since then. However, he has been playing up (aggressive/angry) after seeing his Dad, or mostly when he's hungry or overtired. Or when I'm annoyed or overtired myself (and mostly when my parents are around).

Eg tonight he didn't want to put his pjs on. Kicking and screaming and hitting me in front of my parents. So I took him into the back room and sat him down and explained to him why we needed to put his pjs on, and after the discussions it all went fine. I can't use the techniques in front of my mother because she pi$$ES me off majorly by all her side looks etc. It's really depressing.

But he has improved. I didn't end up taking him to the psych on the 29th May because XH refused to give permission for him to go. But we're having "family therapy" in November so we'll see how that all goes.

THanks for all your suggestions.