No more baby club

[mrsmac]

I haven't used any birth control in 2 years LOL Its so impractical for us to have any more kids but I sometimes pray for a miracle "accident". The backlash I would cop from everyone around me probably wouldn't be worth it though

[briggsy's girl]

even though there is always a chance we may have a miracle, i am facing this exact situation. DH is older (yeah, it's not really a drama how old he is, BUT, it does enter the equation for us) - and i can't see me wanting to go the AC path again for quite some time - this is where his age enters it - i don't want to still be going through AC when he's 50 - it's not fair! so i have kinda resigned myself to E being an only bubba. we will play russian roullette - and if it happens, fantastic - but with all the hurdles we've faced, i seriously doubt it... it's a tough pill to swallow...

[MrsFabuloso]

I'm feeling the same sort of greif....I'm not completely denying that there may be more, but DH is pretty adamant about it now. I'm praying for a sneaky bub too....

[skeetaboat]

I feel like this too and I think why oh why didn't I cherish my firstborn more in his babyhood. Not that I didn't cherish him, but I just didn't realise how quickly they grow up.. and that once they do, babyhood is long gone. It's cruel in a way. By the time you're getting enough sleep to really enjoy them, they're growing up and becoming so independent... and then you start to want another, which is easy to contemplate when you're getting a good nights sleep.

[Tinks]

We are not having any more babies either.

ATM I'm very emotional because DS is going to high school. It's as though in the blink of an eye he's grown up from a boy to a young man instantly. They don't stay little for long enough.

Sometimes I feel that I could easily have another baby right now. But then the feeling passes when i spend time with my sister and her baby. It makes me realise just how much hard work they are. Although I love my nephew to pieces, I just couldn't go back to the baby stage.

I too look forward to being a grandparent. I love being and aunt and I am at peace with not having any more babies, ever.

[Rivlas]

Enjoy your children now as it wasn't that long ago I thought being a grandparent was ages away. Suddenly DD1 had finished school, then engaged, married and I now have 2 beautiful GS's.
Time really flies and before you know it they have left school and are starting their own lives
It is a sad time when you realise you are finished having children but what lies ahead is a fantastic journey watching your children grow and become adults then the joy of holding your grandchild in your arms

[smiles4u]

... i so understand that Maz, for me to think about being a grandparent personally means a different kind of notion as it means i reached elderly age & also it gives me a moment of release of the grieving feeling i get so much at times now and i make myself see a brighter side of the fence to escape that painful feeling.

DP & i have both said as DD is our only there is a likely chance we may not have grandchildren as i think there will be a day many years away where i will feel sad about that but sad about it for me and ' not ' DD as nothing would make me more than happier than for her to make choices that make her happy & having a child may not be something she wants ... and having a child may or may not be for her who know's, i just hope i'm around long enough to find out

... DD will ALWAYS be my " Bubba " no matter how old she is

[widdly]

maz, thanks for this thread

It is HIGHLY unlikely I will be blessed with any more children, and I have days where I just need to do it one more time...but practically, I have PCOS and dont want to mess with my hormones again, DH is adamant that he doesnt want any more, to the point that he asked the dr or the snip on Tuesday! (hes not getting it BTW) However, I do enjoy not having to take care of a baby or toddler anymore...the next chapter without babies seems pretty exciting too

Lorelle - about the grandchildren thing, it will be sad if Archie never has kids (for me not him) and those thoughts have certainly run through my head before, my chances of being a nana are a lot slimmer than someone with 4 kids. I am just trying to focus on me and be a bit selfish lately to remind myself that there is more to life than having babies

[Gigi]

i relate to the age thing like SMILES 4 U
i relate to the older partner (??) thing like BRIGSY - well the r'ship is so broken now, the bit is prolly invalid, more like "no partner" really. so immaculate conception would be needed.
i relate to the only child not getting to have a sibling thang
i relate to the possibility of not getting to be a grandma, due to my age

so much about motherhood, i feel, you only learn it by doing it, or learning from your mistakes/lack of knowledge in an area. so many things i learnt BY having bilby, i am left feeling, "well i know now, what i would do better or differently - but what's the point of that learning, i won't have a 2nd chance.".

i never planned for her to be an only child, but like many things, her father and i weren't on the same page about that.

i feel this is a taboo subject (to sound ungrateful, when you KNOW at least you've been lucky enough to have the child you DO have) so thanks Maz for opening this thread. nowhere else to put this stuff.

(and i have no wish to offend anyone who is TTC and going thru IVF etc, so it feels risky saying this stuff anywhere else.)

[aussienic]

I would love to go on to have 1 maybe 2 moe babies but alas financially, physically and mentally it is not an option (plus the fact I had a tubal)

Dh said if we had enough money so he could stay home as well and help with the workload we could have another but he also said it would have to come out as a 2 y old I do realise where he is coming from though. Once they get to about 6-8 months old there is a lot of work. I do enjoy it but I also get tired and know my limitations..

Ah well.. Grandkids and more neices and nephews it is for me Altho I thinkn it will be just grandkids for me.. and I honestly hope thats for well over 12-15 yrs away. Not that having kids at a young age is a problem it isn't what I want for my kids. I want them to travel and enjoy the workd kid free for a little while.. Then have kids and travel

[widdly]

yeah, thank goodness for my nephews, I get all my cluckiness out on them when ever I want

[~Saram~]

Thanks for starting this thread Maz! Jjust wanted to post and subscribe so I can find it later when I am in a better state of mind about the whole thing

[tiggerandpooh]

it makes me feel so much better to know that there are other women out there that feel the same way as I do. I physically ache to have another child. When I'm around babies, I let down. I have a brand new nephew, born on the day my youngest turned 3, 29/11. When I held him, i had tears streaming down my face...

I will just have to live vicariously through my S-I-L as she has her family, this was their first. and my friends who go on to have their 2nd, and thirds... sigh

[Rach75]

I
Ah well.. Grandkids and more neices and nephews it is for me

well ya better tell Sonja to get a crack on she's ya only hope now

well I am peeved at my body 2nd cycle in a row and I have definatly O'd grrrr when we were TTC I rarely O'd and well definalty happening here, so have told jase to stay away from me unless he wantsa oops baby

[sazzafrazz]

I'm joining the club too.

Only this time last year we were excitedly planning our return to IVF and thinking our future full of possibilities.

What a difference a year makes. We've exhausted all our IVF/AC resources: embryos, money, emotional strength and having used no contraception since early 1997 with no accidents it is almost certain that we will never have an oopsie baby.

I've talked on here during the last few months about this topic but the response was so different to this thread. It's so comforting to hear others feeling the same way as me. Stuff it with having to feel content with what we already have: I still wish I had more! I can't help it. I feel certain I was meant to be a Mum, and I am, but to just one child and I always wanted 3. Yes there are other wonderful things in my life and I certainly don't take them for granted but I feel like this part of my life will always be incomplete whereas those parts are still a work in progress.

I'm at a tricky stage where a lot of friends are having their second or more baby and that's where I feel I should be (and would be if our bub had stuck around). I'm hoping that when the rounds of second and third babies eases, and DD is a little older, that I will feel like I am past this stage more. Hoping!

As for Grandchildren I have wondered if our chances are slim but as others have said you can't tell by how many kids you have as to if you will have grandchildren. For me that seems an eternity away.