Not coping today and no idea how I'll cope with two

[sloane]

that 'me' time sounds perfect!! and probably a great chance for your DH & DS to work things out a bit

i've been out occasionally in the evenings until after bedtime & tbh for a while it was a case of DS just falling asleep on DP in front of the tv. i also worked for a couple of months on DP's day off & the same thing would happen (although often at the computer, listening to music). i used to feed DS to sleep then we moved on to me lying next to him & giving him cuddles but that didn't work for DP so they just found their own rythym. these days DP can do the same as i do for naps/bedtime but it did take quite a few times of them doing their own thing before it got to that stage (and it has coincided with DS becoming far easier to put to bed as well). either way, i think your DH & DS will figure things out & come up with something that works for them sometimes it's a good thing if dads don't do exactly the same as mum

i'm glad you had an epiphany (albeit an emotional one!), it sounds like it's really clarified in your mind the things you need/want to sort out before the baby comes & probably brought underlying concerns to the surface.

[Three Graces]

Hi there,

I can relate to how you're feeling, as I felt the same when going from one to two. Our firstborn had reflux, didn't sleep for more than 20 mins at a time during the day when he was a baby and we had to rock/pat him off to sleep for ages. I'd spent a week at sleep school, which was really good info for when number 2 came along. I found that the baby's needs came first, as the older one could wait a little longer and as soon as bubs was fed/asleep/happy, I could focus on the older one. There were days where I felt I was pinging like a pinball machine between their two bedrooms, trying to get them both off to sleep. Cue the circus music and juggling.

After the eldest turned 3, he refused day naps altogether and there was an adjustment period (feral afternoons) for awhile, as he needed the sleep but didn't go down for one. Don't forget that newborns do tend to sleep during the day a lot and you'll still have plenty of one-on-one time with your DS to do activities together. He may also drop his day nap this year, anyway, so you may not have to spend time helping him get to sleep (just dealing with a cranky kid). Afternoon bathtime helped reduce the crankiness and when the second one is a bit older, they could maybe enjoy a bath together (trust me, they'll end up splashing and having an absolute ball together before long).

All the other suggestions for getting DH to help with some new routines, sound great. It will be a juggle to start off with and there will be good and bad days (don't worry about 'coping', it's more like just getting through the day, tears and tanties and all). Wishing you all the best!

[Purple Penguin]