I know it doesn't help but I was baffled at the fact your mum pulled you up in front of your kids. Thats just as bad IMO. I don't think I'd be happy with another person telling my daughter to do things that don't follow with our family traditions. And I would give Paris the ammo to say "Mum has told me I am allowed to do xyz"

I hate to say it but your mother sounds very controlling, and perhaps its best to allow your daughter to show strength (politely obviously, but it doesn't sound as though she's being impolite) around people like. There is a difference between respect and submission and I would rather teach my children to respect, but not to be submissive iykwim?

I don't mean to sound rude or horrible but whilst I agree its not good to put down others in front of your children, I wouldn't be allowing another adult to treat my daughter that way and I would be giving her the tools to deal with that situation in the best way.

Maybe I'm a bad person I dunno LOL!

*hugs*
Cailin