Thanks Fiona and Ginger. Lots for me to mull over and research. And I agree Fiona - it's important for a parent to know what's going on, even if they don't want to hear it. For me, I'm cool with any diagnosis. I don't see it as labelling or putting a child in a box they'll always be in. This is about giving DS2 the help he needs to cope better with his frustrations/anger/day-to-day life. Regardless of what I'm told about DS2 the main thing is I need strategies and a game plan. The psychologist I saw last year "gave" me some coping skills (albeit I still find his behaviour extremely difficult to deal with/manage), and I feel I now need a child psychologist/paed - someone who will focus on DS2 - to take a good look at DS2 and help us help him.