Welcome to the bad mother club!

[*LittleMissSummer*]

My sister fractured her wrist when she was 4 and she hid it from my mum for about 3 weeks. Iv had a fractured wrist along with a compound fracture and a dislocated elbow but the wrist was the sorest, they must be tough kiddies to hide it i was a huge sook about mine lol

[Inanna]

Well I think my love you are just a human being. We all have times when we don't do what we are proud of. You have the insight to work through what happened, reflect and move on. Don't spend time with guilt - guilt is not productive. Just rack this up to a learning experience...

This does not make you part of any bad mummy club. This makes you a fallible human. I hope your day pans out better & your little ones head isn't too sore.

He has learnt the consequence of throwing toys. You have learnt to look a little closer. Story done... Now have a cuppa and put this one up to experience...

[tan32]

I am here to join you. Just last week my 6 yr old was running around like crazy. I told him to stop before he got hurt but of course he didn't and yes he ran straigt into a sliding door frame at my dds dance studio.
The first thing i did was tell him off for running, he was hiding his face and not crying. I made him sit down and told him to stay there, it wasn't till he looked up at me that i saw the great big egg on his head that i knew he was hurt.
I got ice onto his head basically straight away as this had all happened in a matter of a minute but man i felt like a bad Mum for telling him off..........and a side note he managed to give himself concusion in the process..

Big Hugs to you.

[skybie]

aw hun, dont worry yourself too much, he wont remember when mummy didnt give him a hug the day the train smackered him in the head!
i think we've all been there, its a part of being a parent. you'd have to be some sort of super powered parent to not have had one of these experiences!
Big big hugs
xxx

[BellyBelly]

No-one is taught how to parent, and the un-community based style of living we have doesn't help either. Unfortunately the two types of parenting we do just doesn't work - you end up feeling crappy, guilty and like a bad mother at times. But it doesn't have to be this way - and this is from someone who thought there would never be another way and I was a clueless mother also. Check out THIS thread. There is a way to reduce outbursts, strengthen the parent-child bond and leave both of you feeling happier after an incident so you can move on right away, and not let it ruin your day/night, because I know it would make me miserable sometimes all day or more if something went bad. Can be MUCH easier and simple. No rewards, punishments, time out or confiscation required - all which create undesired emotions.

[misskate]

:hugs: hope you are feeling a bit better now.... stuff like this happens, its ok, i dont think your a bad mummy.... but i think he learnt from it so maybe thats the main thing... you started teaching him how to trust you! xxxx

[Phteven]

Please note that this thread is now in the Parenting De-Briefing Forum. If you feel that you can't respond with tact and kindness please don't bother to post.

[helle]

im not here to make others feel better.

and here I was thinking that's what BB was all about oO;;

I'm not a mummy yet, but I do have a furbaby.... who I forgot to pick up from Mums house yesterday on my way to work, and didn't realise til I was half way through making dinner... oops

[~clover~]

Geez...I won't start a list. We'd be here all day!
Accidents happen. Simple as that.
My sad bit for today is probably being to stuffed to clean the lounge room & kitchen again, coz silly me stayed up til midnight doing it last night, knowing I was sleep deprived as it was!
Oh & I kicked DD1 out the door 15 minutes before bus time coz she was driving me insane!!
Nothing too sinister, but there are plenty of parenting moments I'm not proud of.

[kirsty_lee]

[QUOTE=Teagz;2032060]and here I was thinking that's what BB was all about oO;;/QUOTE]

:yeahthat:

[Mum2SweetCs]

Huge all-boys. I understand how you feel as I feel like i belong to the bad mother's club everyday. Seems like I am yelling at DD daily and calling her a brat when all she is is normal.

I also agree with you that BB is great for support.

Im an L plater mum here so BB is great to learn from other parents as well.

Hey we arent superhumans here, sure to make mistakes!!!!

Don't beat yourself up

[Daytona's Mummy]

I also could make a massive list with all the mistakes I have made over the years, but at the risk of dribbling on as I'm known to do, I wont!
There is no way your a bad mum, but if you want to start a club, I'm sure there are plenty of us elligable to join.
Life is all about learning by your mistakes and it sounds as though unfortunately both of you learnt by this one.

My DS often asks me why I'm so @nal & protective/hard on him & all I can say is: Because you tought me to be this way!
We all learn to be mothers each and every day, we never stop learning, Right from the moment they are conceived, we learn to care for them and nurture them, Feel guilty we made that mistake of having that drink last night only to find out the next day we're pregnant (for example), then the guilt comes back time and time again, each time learning from the next experience... We all make mistakes, it's whether we learn form them that determines whether we're good perents or not!!

Oh and it's a shame when certain others can't learn from their mistakes and learn to bite their tongue! It's time to have a long hard look in the mirror sweetheart, hopefully you'll get enough of a wake-up call and see no-one is perfect, not even you!
It's a shame rep points can't be taken away aswell as added to!

[Jennifer13]

Well, at the risk of over-simplifying, this is the first time I've ever parented a three year old and I'm doing the best I can with the good-and-bad lessons in parenting I got from my own upbringing.

I spent years studying for what I do as a living and I still make the occasional mistake there. I'd be hard-put not to make more frequent mistakes in a much more challenging role (mothering) for which I've had NO training!

So yeah, like everyone else, there's not enough time in my day to list all of the stoopid mistakes I've ever made... Thank goodness our kids love us so much! We must be doing something right.

[~*lilla*~]

Well I think my love you are just a human being. We all have times when we don't do what we are proud of. You have the insight to work through what happened, reflect and move on. Don't spend time with guilt - guilt is not productive. Just rack this up to a learning experience...

I totally agree with this. You are human, and humans make mistakes. You have acknowledged you could of done it differently, you have insight into the situation. To me that makes you a good mum that doesn't do everything perfect. A bad mum is one that continues down the same path.

Chin up. If it makes you feel better, a few months ago my clingy DS became ultra clingy and whingy (which isn't anything new). He had a cold so I thought it was that. Low and behold he had a massive ear infection to the point of a perferation I felt like the world's worst mum - until other women (and the nurse) told me it's common with littlies to not know until things are bad because they can't tell you.

[~breeze~]

I can definately join your club

EVERYBODY makes mistakes, we just have to learn from them.

Don't feel too bad & please dont let others try to make you feel worse, as you can see from this thread, the majority of people have moments like you (ok, everyone does, just the majority of people have admitted to it )

[Bathsheba]

I think it was an excellent idea to move this to a more supportive Parenting De-Briefing area of the forum

[TeniBear]

...Feel guilty we made that mistake of having that drink last night only to find out the next day we're pregnant (for example)...

Oh yes, this! Even though I know now everything's okay so far in there, I'm still beating myself up about my Hen's night... I was about a week pregnant (so with pregnancy maths, 3 weeks) and got the drunkest I have ever been in my entire life. I don't drink, normally, but I intentionally got drunk that night. To the point of throwing up, not remembering how I got home, and having a two-day-long hangover. Not to mention other embarrassing things that I won't go into here. (Just to be clear, I didn't mean to get that drunk. I forgot that it takes a while for alcohol to seep in for me, so I kept drinking til I could feel it)

Cut to 11 days later, and I find out I'm pregnant. Mind starts clicking away and i realise that I must have been pregnant throughout all of this... I still worry about the effects on my poor baby

Isn't there actually something called the Bad Mothers Club? I'm sure I've read something. I think it's for women whose parenting styles are looked down upon by others as unhealthy or whatever (you know, like feeding their kids fast food because they just can't be bothered.)

[briggsy's girl]

Teni - fwiw - if you were only 7dpo (days post ovulation), you may not have even implanted yet - an embryo generally hasn't developed to the point that it can implant into the lining until at least 8dpo - and doesn't share a blood supply with mum for longer than that as well - so any alcohol you had at your hen's night wouldn't have impacted your bubba.