Oh, I feel for you.
With dd if she hasn't eaten her dinner (or at least half) within a certain time frame (say, half an hour) we just take it away. No muss, no fuss, the rest of the night time routine continues.
If the hair thing was a massive struggle I have to say I'd get it cut to a more manageable length.
The pool thing's a hard one unless you could get in to lead her out, but I would be warning dd in the car on the way to the pool the next time and again before you even walk through that gate, that if it happens again you will not be coming back
GL