I kind of know how you feel Mak. DP and I have had a bit of a rollercoaster over the last three years and if it wasn't for my age, I would have preferred to have stuff well and truly sorted out before having another baby.

As the others have said, what does make a REAL difference to us is spending time together. And asking for help. I used to be really atrocious at this. I didn't even ask him to take more leave when I was wheeling myself around the house on an office chair unable to walk with a newborn when each feed would take 1.5 hours and even just holding her hurt like crazy. I just got on with it because I thought that's what you did. It just didn't occur to me that's what partners are there for.

Now, the penny has finally dropped that asking for help is not whinging and DP is not a mind reader. Now I ask for help at the absolute drop of a hat and our relationship is much, much better for it.