I agree with the current stereotype that 'princess' = helpless and stuck-up, which is a very Disneyfied thing. Some tween shows on TV that seem to actively encourage young girls to act deliberately helpless to get the boy (because of course that's all a girl ever wants, right?) also make my super rageface, but that's a whole different thread.
I don't think it's a fair stereotype personally. I have been called a princess in my time but I seriously doubt any one of those who called me that meant in any way, shape or form that I'm helpless. Not willing to settle, perhaps, but not helpless, I'm pretty sure. :P
My DH's nickname for DD1 is princess and I have no problem with that. I never, ever buy them shirts, dresses or whatever that saying anything like "I'm a Princess" etc. My girls will wear their dress up princess dresses, shoes, wands etc while looking for the nearest tree to climb or pile of wood mulch to play in.
I think clothing is something that can shape a child's behaviour, but its the thought processes you encourage that make the most important impact. For instance, this morning driving the girls to school I was wretching the whole way (gotta love 8+ months of morning sickness!). DDs in the back very concerned and discussing between themselves how poor Mummy's sick again. DD1 told me I should have stayed home in bed and daddy could have taken them. I said that was very nice of her but daddy was staying home to fix the reticulation the dog had chewed. DD2 immediately said "but you could do that instead Mummy and you might feel better outside". I guess what I'm trying to say is I think while my attitude to clothes, accessories etc can be extremly influential for them, teaching my kids that an ability to think for themselves and be strong, self reliant individuals is by far the more important life skill, and no amount of pretty dresses is going to help them do that.
Instead of avoiding things, whether its Disney or Princess related stuff I use these instances as moments to educate and teach my children And not necessarily in a completely negative fear mongering kind of way but opening a healthy dialogue to enable her to learn and to speak freely about what she feels about these types of things.
I think it's interesting how many people say they give praise for being clever. I read a really interesting article about a month ago about how parents/schools/society praise girls for being and boys for doing. An example..... 2 children get similar marks for an exam. It is likely that the girl will be praised for being clever whereas the boy will be praised for trying his best.
I do sometimes praise for being clever but I do think that it is more constructive to make praise more specific and to praise for effort rather than results. I come from a family where clever is normal so I regard clever as being a bit like pretty in that to a large extent it is an accident of genetics that can be nurtured.
I do and will continue to avoid the 'princess' type of viewing for my children - it's not hard, they'd rather watch things on dinosaurs, marine life, insects, bears and even horse riding instructing DVDs than anything else...so why fight it Neither of them actively seek out the stuff that other kids are apparently naturally drawn to and they have a lifetime ahead of them to learn what society expects of them...and a lifetime of practicing how to tell society to shove it
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And not necessarily in a completely negative fear mongering kind of way but opening a healthy dialogue to enable her to learn and to speak freely about what she feels about these types of things.
Neither of them actively seek out the stuff that other kids are apparently naturally drawn to and they have a lifetime ahead of them to learn what society expects of them...and a lifetime of practicing how to tell society to shove it 
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