Adorning girls

[onthefly]

If you have a daughter, do you feel it necessary to make her look pretty?
If you have sons as well, do you do the same for them?

If so (or not), why?

I have almost zero interest in my appearance, as anyone who's ever met me can attest, and I think I will die if my daughter grows up interested in fashion and stuff like that. my god, what if she wants to wear makeup!!!?? What if my son wants to?
I felt no pressure to make DS look "good", but with DD I detect - so far subtle - pressure to ensure she is pretty. I hate that. I don't ever want my kids to feel defined by the way they look. I also just cannot be arsed with things like that.

I'm not alone in eschewing those girly headbands - so noone thinks your baby is a boy - and dressing my daughter in her brother's hand-me-downs (yep, she gets called he all the time) am I?

[Cranky Kitten]

Nah, not alone. I never put one of those silly headbands on my DD either, and often would dress her in whatever muck-around clothes I could lay hands on. At least until she was 2 and started expressing a preference for frilly dresses. Usually coupled with gumboots to jump in puddles and play in the mud though.

I do however like the boys stuff I've got for DS. Mostly because it's brightly coloured and practical. I really really don't like those soft pastel baby blues and pinks and rarely ever put them on my babies even when I've got them.

[Kazzo]

My girls can pick whatever they want to wear, I just sometimes have to add something or take something else with me depending on the weather. I don't care how their choice works. While I do like to have a certian neatness about myself, I don't put a lot of energy into it. I don't wear makeup and on the few occasions I have put a bit on, DD1 has not noticed or shown any interest.

[Phteven]

I love fashion. Not as in dressing in the same outfit as everyone else and trying to keep up with the latest 'style' but the costume aspect of it. Being able to be ghetto today and prissy princess tomorrow kinda thing.
So I love to dress my boys but as they get older they don't always play along and that's ok. DS2 likes to wear his wizard clothes to the shops and has been known to demand to wear a tie to school so I think he likes clothes too.

I like dressing DH too but thus far he has resisted my attempts to get him into a pale suit....

[Novella]

I love buying girly clothes for my girls, I enjoy it. Maybe it is superficial but meh I dont think Im hurting anyone, they need clothes and I like buying pretyy things when I get them clothes.

My girls have a mix of trackies and daggy cheapo tshirts and nice jeans/ tops/skirts that match. I will not buy my girls something that is pretty if I think it is going to be uncomfertable or that is going to limit what activities they can do (I dont get long dressesfor thid reason). Most days my girls pick their own clothes and while their idea of what goes well together generally does not match mine I let them go or it unless it is inappropriate to the weather. I also dont like them wearing their best clothes outside if they are painting or playing in the mud as they have plenty of other clothes to chose from.

I dont like kids wearing jewelery as I think a lot of the time therer are safety issues with necklaces etc getting caught or being a choking hazard but I do buy sparkly hair ties and my girls like these (possibly because I am setting an example of things that I Find nice)

I really dont spend much time on the girls hair though. I brush it and pull it back in a pony tail. I look at the hair styles on other children and I know there would be tears and tantrums from all of us if I tried to do anything like it!

[Trillian]

I"m with you on the headband front!! I can't stand them! I don't see babies and think "oh yuck" or anything like that, I just don't like them - they are a PITA and I just don't see the point in them? Or maybe I'm missing the point of them? But I would put their hair up as soon as it was long enough just so it would stay out of their eyes and face - my girls have really thin hair that always looked ratty and wispy so it was better if it was kept up.

Its never really been an issue for us though. The girls haven't even asked to get their ears done, but they have asked why I don't have mine done. I used to, in fact I used to have 4 in each ear but pulled 3 pairs out when I was 15 and I pulled the remaining pair out and let the holes close over a few years ago after a got a nasty infection that made the whole side of my face swell up.

I agree on it all being too ****ing hard. I'm not dreading having girls that are into that type of thing, but just that doing all this stuf can be so hard to maintain. Heck, I don't even shave anything anymore because I don't think I should *have* to fit in and look a certain way just because I'm a woman.

[onthefly]

Grah! Woman power Trill!

I don't mean to say there's anything particularly wrong with being nicely presented, btw. I can appreciate the art behind the perfectly presented person - though I tend to just think "wow, that must take a long time."

[Trillian]

Grah! Woman power Trill!

I don't mean to say there's anything particularly wrong with being nicely presented, btw. I can appreciate the art behind the perfectly presented person - though I tend to just think "wow, that must take a long time."

Yeah, I think there is a difference between making them look nice and presentable and going way OTT on the body maintenance. My girls have loads of those curly ribbon hairbands and clips and I think they look nice - they have school colour ones and ones in our footy club colours that they wear when they play netball and it does look nice, but that's as far as it goes - their hair is only ever pulled back into a ponytail or plait, not blowdried and straightened like some of the girls do. It's like they take it that one step further - it's not enough just to pull your air back in a ponytail, it has to be dead straight or styled a certain way. And the boys don't care - I keep their hair cut short enough that they don't even need to comb it LOL.

[MummaBee]

MMMMM interesting thread
I guess I do feel the need to brush my sons hair in the morning and wash his face after he brushes his teeth in the morning and honestly I had never thought it was to make him look pretty but I suppose some people might look at it that way.
Every day I myself was taught to do my hair/makeup and wash my face so I guess it was something I was passed down, and now I am doing it hehehe.
but in saying that I'm not super uptight or anything he's welcome to play in the mud and get messy
As for my little girl she has no hair so nothing going on there but when she does I cant wait to do it, and will try to most days as I had done for myself as a child

I guess I feel I am defined as a person by the way I look as i put on makeup and dye my regrowth often, but I dont feel I judge anyone who doesn't do those things I just feel more confident when I do those things in myself.

[beansbeans!]

i dont dress my girls so they look pretty but I dress them so they are comfortable.

When DD1 was a baby, I remember having a conversation with one of dh's friends who had 2 girls. He said that he loved that he had 2 'high maintance' girls because it meant that when they got to the dating age, the boy or man who falls for them wil be in love for real....
That comment has stayed with me. But not only do I want them to be comfortable in their own bodies I want them to use their brains and demand the best for themselves. And now that Ive lost my train of thought Ill have to come back later.
Yes I do feel pressure to dress them pretty, to make them fit in...

btw,, I can assure that Im similar to you in the interest in looks and makeup thing,

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I can tell you right now, any daughter of mine is going to be wearing bright colours which may or may not contain sparkles or glitter, and headbands with big flowers on them until they are old enough to tell me NO!

That is my choice however, based on what I dress myself in. I draw the line at matchy-matchy though

[Olive]

My girls pretty much refuse pants and will not wear trackies lol!
They own lots of nice clothes because that's all I buy, when DD1 was litte I was too worried about wreaking her good clothes that she never wore then, such a waste so they wear 'nice' stuff every day.
I like them to look nice for their self confidence but don't make them pretty so to speak ( they are rather cute though lol)

ETA sangie DD1hasnt worn jeans in almost 2years, I just got her into 3/4 jean shorts recently, DD2 is the same.
Winters for us are dresses/skirts with leggings/thights

[fionas]

No, I don't feel any pressure to make our DDs look pretty but they've inherited very fine hair from me which is a complete disaster as it gets matted really easily.

I'll just follow their lead. DD1 is a tomboy who's not particularly interested in clothes but she has become completely obsessed with a particular pinafore dress she has. I think it's because it has no arms and is super comfortable and she can climb trees in it just as easily as she can in pants.

DD2, I think, will be a different kettle of fish. She grabs hats and shoes at any opportunity and is generally more girly than DD1.

Either way, that's fine by me. They'll never hear me talking about my looks, body shape etc. etc. just as I never heard my mum talking about those things. Hopefully, that will go some way to shielding them from the amount of rubbish that's out there about how girls/women should look.

[grub17]

i like to dress my dd pretty but don't feel pressure too. (today she lived in a nappy and little pair of pants to stop her pulling said nappy off! lol) I like both my kids to look 'nice' when going out.
I tuck DS's shirt into his shirts, hike his shorts all the way up, put his sandals on and comb his hair to the side - love that look. Know he'll be showing off his jocks and mohawk soon enough!
With DD, we do hippy days, french days, yellow, purple, orange days, dress days, headband days etc and then we do 'oops left you in your pjs all day' days
I like the kids to look "nice'' when going out and their shorts/shirt/dress/undies match.
BUT I also like to hang my clothes out using matching pegs.... Dh thinks i'm nuts about my pegs and kids' clothes

[Calluna]

I have no desire to make DS look "pretty" or "good", but he is always presentable. Starts the day looking tidy (doesn't last long though LOL).
I love looking at all the little girly clothes though, so if we ever have a little girl things may be different.

I'm in no way "girly", but I try to look presentable and make sure my clothes match and my hair is brushed before leaving the house.

Eta: someone mentioned comfort- that is the #1 reason I pick things. Quality is next, then looks.
I don't feel any pressure at all. Never really cared what people think about my appearance so I guess that has transferred to DS too.

[briggsy's girl]

i don't dress all girly girly, but i do take care to make sure i'm wearing "nice" clothes. i guess being a larger lady, i tend to think i can either dress nicely, or i can get the "walmart" label. we do come from a low socioeconomic area, and i guess i don't like to be "one of those" people that lives in trackies and jumper, with moccies, going down the street

as a result of my own expectations of myself, that i dress nicely to go out, i do the same with DD. She has her home clothes that can, and do, get trashed - and she has her "good" clothes. her good clothes may only be a pair of jeans and a nice jumper (hand knitted etc) as opposed to the trackies she kicks around in at home - and a nice clean(er) pair of shoes. she has her hair brushed and tied up rather than a curly ratty mess when we go out

when she was little, i'd dress her in her "pretty" clothes to go out, so that she actually got to wear them and show them off - people bought them as gifts and i'd hate to think she never used them! now, she gets the choice of her clothes (as long as her choice is weather/outing appropriate), how she wants her hair done, and whether she wants clips etc. we have clear hair ties - any extra adornment is her choice. she has jewellery that she has been given as gifts (two bracelets) and she only gets them on if she asks. she used to wear one all the time cos it was a gift for her first birthday, but it got broken. she generally asks to wear them if i am wearing mine.

i don't "do" make up very often, but sometimes i do (i think i have three times this year lol) - and if she asks to wear some, i put a light bit of eye shadow and clear lipgloss on her (cos that's all i wear lol).

[HotI]

I like my kids to look clean and dressed nicely when we go out. My DD is only 2, but many of her clothes came from the boys section at the shop because they were warmer and had funkier colours than what was available in the girls section. i like making them clothes, because i like more variety in colours and design than i get in mainstream shops. DD is often called he, mainly because she is not dressed in pink (i think).

i have tried getting her to wear hair clips to hold her back while it grows, but she isn't keen.

bbl

[~~Snoogans~~]

Nope!

Have no intentions on making my girls dress to *make them look pretty*...truth is, they are STUNNING as they are (hehehehehehe had to add that, you know, the whole proud mama thing!)

Miss H currently wears a lot of cargo pants and t-shirts. She will occasionally request to wear a dress...with tights underneath, and possibly sketchers to finish it off! if not her gumboots!

Miss Z wears cute lil clips in her hair, but that is because, even after a haircut, her fringe still gets in her eyes! So it's more of a necessity than an adornment!

I shudder at the thought that one day they may turn into lil * princesses* ! I have no idea how to deal with princesses! seriously...NFI!