Adorning girls

[HotI]

I like my kids to look clean and dressed nicely when we go out. My DD is only 2, but many of her clothes came from the boys section at the shop because they were warmer and had funkier colours than what was available in the girls section. i like making them clothes, because i like more variety in colours and design than i get in mainstream shops. DD is often called he, mainly because she is not dressed in pink (i think).

i have tried getting her to wear hair clips to hold her back while it grows, but she isn't keen.

bbl

[~~Snoogans~~]

Nope!

Have no intentions on making my girls dress to *make them look pretty*...truth is, they are STUNNING as they are (hehehehehehe had to add that, you know, the whole proud mama thing!)

Miss H currently wears a lot of cargo pants and t-shirts. She will occasionally request to wear a dress...with tights underneath, and possibly sketchers to finish it off! if not her gumboots!

Miss Z wears cute lil clips in her hair, but that is because, even after a haircut, her fringe still gets in her eyes! So it's more of a necessity than an adornment!

I shudder at the thought that one day they may turn into lil * princesses* ! I have no idea how to deal with princesses! seriously...NFI!

[toomanyshoes]

I feel no pressure to dress DD "pretty" or DS "cool". I encourage them to define their own style, DD is quite at home wearing a dress as much as tracky daks and DS has a fondness for flennelet, as well as carrying my handbag for me.

I'm as open to DS wearing makeup as I am DD, when they are older.

I range from going all out with makeup and getting dressed to going out in "house" clothes and bare faced.

I don't feel pressure to dress any particular way I dress in what makes me happy, what puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step, don't care if it's "fashionable" acorrding to anyone else or not. And hopefully I can pass that on to my children.

[Jellyfish]

I enjoy fashion to an extent and do enjoy it through my girls but my girls often get called boys because my idea of fashion does not include pink and girly. For example I love sweater dresses at the moment but in navy and cream, grey or muted olive greens. It doesn't bother me what gender people think they are and I am happy for DD1 to dress herself which usually means she will wear blue with blue or yellow with yellow. I let her go to the park or the shops or speech therapy in costumes too and have to say, I think she does look adorable as 'Alice in Wonderland' but that doesn't mean I just focus on looks or anything! I think she is brave and helpful and intuitive too.

I don't wear makeup or anything but I do like wearing things that suit my figure and put a little thought into things. I actually went looking for my makeup today as we were going to lunch with some of DP's highschool friends and didn't want to drag him down too much, he told me not to bother and in the end I didn't because I couldn't find it haha... guess I don't even own makeup anymore.

I have personally never felt any pressure to make my girls look 'girly' or 'pretty'. I think comfort and practicality (toilet training, nappies, knee coverage for crawling etc) are the most important in the end for me. Availability comes next as we get most things second hand.

[chody47]

I very rarely dress DD in 'pretty' clothes. Yes, I try to make sure that she looks presentable when we go out (eg, make sure she is not covered in her most recent meal), but I would say that I tend to dress her in more practical clothes than pretty clothes. She has very rarely ever been put in a dress (although I did for her birthday) - the last time I put her in one it made crawling too hard so she was out of it quick smart.

I guess my frame of mind when I dress her (or buy clothes for her) is:
1. What's fairly cheap so I don't mind if it's ruined by being stained or getting holes in it by crawling around our backyard
2. What is going to be comfortable and not restrict movement

I know this is a slightly different topic, but I sometimes feel sorry for little girls who are dressed in clothes and shoes that they can't run around in (when they are in a situation that's appropriate to do that). In my humble opinion I feel it doesn't help them develop their gross motor skills.

[Sagres]

I enjoy fashion to an extent and do enjoy it through my girls but my girls often get called boys because my idea of fashion does not include pink and girly. For example I love sweater dresses at the moment but in navy and cream, grey or muted olive greens. It doesn't bother me what gender people think they are and I am happy for DD1 to dress herself which usually means she will wear blue with blue or yellow with yellow.

I am like this, I am interested in me and my girls looking 'stylish' I suppose you would say (can't think of a better word), but that style does not really include 'pretty' or 'girly' as such. On the contrary I tend to avoid the styles that are overly frilly or featuring embroidered flowers etc. for no other reason than my own style is a bit more classic, clean lines, simple, elegant and not very decorated IYKWIM. Maybe that is just my thing, or maybe subconsciously I am avoiding being too stereotypically 'girly'? Not sure...

So no, I don't feel any pressure to dress them to look pretty. DD1 gets called a boy every now and then, it doesn't bother me. I think you are going to get that what ever you do, LOL DH was changing DD1's nappy once and had to answer the door (we were expecting some one) and the person called DD1 a boy even though she was butt naked! Does't get much more obvious!

I should say that mostly applies for going out to special events/special occasions/restaurants/visiting relatives etc. but for day to day it is much more about practicality: keeping warm, able to get off quickly for toilet trips, things that don't show up mess too easily, able to climb things at kindergym etc. but with the underlying tone of our 'style'.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

If you have a daughter, do you feel it necessary to make her look pretty?

I don't think it is necessary to make my girls look pretty, when in public i try to make sure they look presentable (clean clothes, face, hands etc).
DD1 has always been quite independant and likes to choose her own clothes, she has more fashion sense than i do - she likes to match her tops with her pants or her shoes, she like lipgloss and hair clips and 'pretty' sunglasses but i never make a big deal about them looking pretty,

When we go to parties etc they generally get to wear a nice dress or jeans with a nice jacket and sometimes they match their hairclips etc.
This was mainly duie to the fact DD1 had longish hair as a toddler and it was more manageable with hairclips and she liked different ones.

That said around the house my girls wear tracksuit pants, boys clothes, gumboots, paint or mud stained clothes and on some occasions wont even brush their hair, they wear bandana's under their motorbike helmets and go and slide in the mud.
If we go to a party and they get dirty i don't care either, clothes are clothes & kids are kids.

Most of our stuff comes from K-mart or target when they have sales, the girls have some GORGEOUS clothes family have bought them form places like PP but they don't wear them all the time.

Anyone from BB who's met me knows i am a big tomboy, i care very little about 'fashion' i NEVER wear make up and i couldn't care less if someone wore $500 shoes or $5 shoes, as long as they look presentable, thats all that matters to me.

[Charlotte91]

I make sure DD is presentable. Some of the outfits she wears at home are scary, just whatevers on the top of the pile.
If we go out I make sure whatever she's wearing isn't too stained. It depends where we're going. Up the street, whatever she's in. Be that filthy or clean.
Going to town for appointments, something a bit nicer. "Nicer" meaning "less stained".

She has her hair clipped/tied back because it gets in her eyes and they go red.

I may not always have her face clean, but DD is a cutie to me and I love her. I don't care what other people think of her.

[Rouge]

I don't feel any pressure at all. Hell no. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't buy things based on cute factor. I like to look good, and I like my kids to look good. DD has her own style, always has even at 2. When she was a baby I think I dressed her a lot daggier than she does herself now LOL. She's a bit of a fashionista. And I allow for stages... even when she went through the pink stage *shudder*. I will NEVER push my kids to dress the same as me. That doesn't mean that they don't imitate, I'm sure they do. But I grew up in a household where I was forced to wear certain things, and as a result I resented my wardrobe most of my life. And my mother was far from girly. And my father would have been happy if I was wearing a sack most of the time. I will always allow my children the freedom of choice, provided it's appropriate clothing.

[TaRhLi.]

I also like to make my kids look nice when going out in public, although that being said they do have hanging around the house clothes which they wear most of the time and are starting to look a little worse for wear.

DD has never been a headband girl, and even now if I put one on to keep the hair out of her eyes she will take it of anyway and even though I will brush DD's hair and put it up out of her face it will be a mess again within 10 minutes anyway and by the end of the day will be all knotted and will generally have some food stuck in there somewhere as well. DD does have some really pretty dresses but she rarely wears them (to parties mainly) and will generally live in leggings or trackies as they are more practical, although saying that she does wear lots of pink and purple - but she prefers those colours anyway.

The boys are always dressed similarly, not completely matching but generally the same pants or shorts and a different top and normally in colours which distinguish who is who (especially if we are going out as even though they aren't identical it makes it easier for people to identify a child with a certain colour ie: "Rhys is the one wearing blue and Liam is the one wearing red" also when you see a child out of the corner of your eye the colour immediately tells me who it is).

I must admit though that it is nice to hear when we are out how people comment that my life must be busy but my children all look well cared for and tidy (not saying that unless your child is dressed up and looking tidy they aren't cared for - no offence to anyone.)

[Shanti]

I will post more when I get to the computer.... Just wanted to say my PET hate is when at the shops or somewhere & DD1 is wearing a dress that's quite pretty, she will get comments from old ladies saying "oooooh look at your pretty dress aren't you beautiful!!" yet ifshes just wearing shorts and top no one comments.

This must send the message to my 3yr old that "I only get noticed when I'm wearing a dress. " ****es me off!!!!

[Smoke Jaguar]

I provide a good example, IMO, of dressing nicely and neatly and in a co-ordinated way for my kids. My DS loves to 'match' and co-ordinate, and so does DD.
Neither of them have been much exposed to influences that send messages about what's prescribed for girls, so my DD doesn't 'naturally' choose 'girly' things in the shops. I limit the amount of Wiggles watching, even, because the pinkness ascribed for girls that is taken as a 'given' is not what I want her to think is in any way natural. She hangs out with heaps of boys - younger, older and her own age, - which gently challenges them in their assumptions they may be accustomed to, and also keeps her out of direct line of sight to girls who are already conditioned to 'pretty' themselves up.
It's going to be hard enough to keep her sense of perspective about her place in the world when everyone we meet instantly mentions her looks before anything else about her, and she has plenty to offer apart from her looks. She has plenty of time to realise that her looks will have currency at some stage, so now is the time, at age 2.5yo to hone in on the skills and attributes that will last a lot longer and cut through the superficial layers.
My kids see me do things I love that I get better and better at, that have nothing to do with how I look. I don't play on my looks or play them up to be something they're not. I work on what I leave behind when my time is up. All of this is relevant to how I raise my kids, including how I show them how to dress. Girls need more than looks to get them through their 20s, if they manage to coast their teens on their looks and dress!
No headbands here, no earrings, no princess dress ups, no princess-type movies for either of them. No way I want my son to think girls need rescuing or need to invest in their looks to be worthy of attention. He finds the oddest looking girls to be attractive, and I concede that I need them 'odd' due to my upbringing and being told what's beautiful and important about a girl's foray into the world! I love that about DS, and what he teaches me about beauty.
And with no TV reception, it's a lot easier to filter out those messages from the conventional world

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Princess is a nickname for both my girls... ie. "what are you doing Princess" - it's nothing to do with her looks or anything it's just something i've always said... the girls are princesses to me and i don't think it has anything to do with stereotyping them.
I don't have boys but i say "hello handsome/gorgeous/cute boy" to friends DS's or my nephew, i compliment on how clever they are, how quick, how silly etc etc.

My girls would love to ride motorbikes in sparkly pink dresses and glitter hairclips - i HATE that there are not more color options available for little girls but the minute i find red, blue, green etc i tend to buy it but my girls choose what they wear and point at clothes in the shops, if they want pink overload then good for them, if they want a boys smurf or ben10 t-shirt then even better.

[sushee]

Personally I don't see that dressing well, or in a 'girly' way, necessarily takes away from the girl or woman's ability to be independent, smart, professional, sporty etc. I think relegating the 'look' of a girl to the negative things associated with being a girl is a disservice to women.

I am happy to wear skyscraper heels, frilly dresses, petticoats, make-up whatever, so that I look as 'pretty' (for want of a better word) as I can be. That does not for one minute detract from my abilities outside of the way I look, and I believe that those are substantial. I think that that's the example I wish to provide to my kids - you are defined by everything you are, no, not just how you look, but that's part of it too. And, you know what? You can have it all if you want it. I'm not going to not call a girl a princess if I think she is one, any less than I would call a boy a prince.

My DP recently bought me (and Rouge's daughter) matching t-shirts that say 'self-rescuing princess'. I think that's pretty apt for both of us, actually!

[~ Mylitta ~]

I enjoy dressing the kids in nice clothes. I found that I would buy some nice "going out" clothes that would get worn a few times for outings, and then they would grow out of them. So now, rather than "waste" the good clothes I just let them wear them whenever. My almost 3 year old son is often in his lovely shirts and gorgeous tops running around the backyard, and my 14 month old daughter can often be found sitting in the garden picking up dirt and making piles of it on her lovely designer dresses haha! I always make sure they are comfortable though (they are both quick to tell me if they are not) and dresses weather appropriate.

Although I often give them a choice of what to wear, neither of them are interested in making their own choices yet. My son may sometimes say no to something but generally he just wants me to choose something for him. I'm happy with that arrangement for now, hehe.

As for my newest little one, well being 4 weeks old she doesn't have much to say about what I dress her in hehe. I have noticed that rather than dress her in many of the little girl outfits that I had for my first daughter, I am tending to keep her in baby jumpsuits most days. I think it's because I want to keep her a baby as long as I can and her wearing baby jumpsuits makes it feel like she'll just stay a baby forever. Right?

Oh, and my 14 month old's hair has just gotten long enough for little pigtails or a pony tail and I think it's gorgeous when I tie it up. I can't wait until it gets longer and I can do more with it. I was never a girly girl growing up, but one girly memory I have was sitting on the floor between my Mum's legs while she brushed my hair. It's a lovely memory and one I hope my girls will love as well

[forshelby]

For me, I feel like clothes can be an expression of personality. I dress DS according to the vibe I'm getting for the day. If he's cranky, he's often wearing something 'grungy' lol. If he's all sweetness and loveliness, well we can take the time to spruce him up a bit. Eg- brush his hair into a bit of a style, put on a cute hat, maybe try to keep shoes on longer than 10 seconds lol.

It's kind of the same when it comes to the way I dress. I feel like my clothes are an expression of how I feel on any given day. If you see me wearing my pencil-dress (does that make sense.. lol! It's like a pencil skirt) and heels to work, you know I'm feeling pretty good that day. If my hair is straightened and I'm wearing lipstick, you know I'm feeling AWESOME that day. That's how I see it anyway. If I rock up in my flats, business pants and a cardigan, with a braid in my hair, you know I've had a rough night with DS haha.

I don't feel compelled to always look amazing, but I enjoy using clothes and accessories as a way to bring the inside out to be seen. I felt more pressure to look fantastic all the time pre-baby. Motherhood has dulled the sense of judgement if my hair isn't immaculate one day, or I didn't bother to put on a full face of makeup. I know DS doesn't care how I look, that's for sure.......... and if DP is missing the old 'polished' me at all, well, he can use his long-term memory for that one lol. I think once you've been with someone for a few years you don't have to be gorgeous/handsome every second of every day. They remember why they fell in love with you- they know how hot you really are whether you're wearing the 'suit of armour', as I lovingly call it- or just trackie dacks and a hair scrunchie

[Maruschke]

I don't do fancy clothes or make up or jewelery and I think DD1 has picked up on it. I do look clean and presentable, but I go no further with either myself or DD1. She does get to play dress ups at home and I pay attention to what style she chooses. None of it is pink dresses, lol. But likewise, if "pretty" was her choice, I'd go with that too. As for headbands, I personally can't stand them!