- sounds like this mother has a bit much on her plate and has chosen that this is something she is willing to let slip for now while she gets herself back together.

As you say, you don't want to upset her, but you do need to deal with her children.
The other girls have said it was a bit of a problem before she lost the baby too, though not so serious. So it might be that she just doesn't have the same parenting expectations that the other of us do, itms.

Thats a really tough situation.

If it were me, I'd probably step in when there is bad behaviour from the kids and kindly but firmly address the behaviour AS its happening. There is nothing wrong with doing this in my opinion. It might even help the kids to be "told off" by someone else especially if Mum is struggling with grief.

On the baby loss thing - Grief is a very very funny thing she sounds like she has been through a real ordeal and she may well not have had "time"to properly grieve the loss of her baby. She may still be experiencing more "bad" days than good. I honestly don't know how I would have coped if I had DD before losing my first baby. She may not necessarily be depressed either everyone deals with things differently.

If you don't feel close enough to talk to her about the baby, maybe you can offer to look after her kids one afternoon to give her some down time and just say "if there is anything you need, or if you ever want to chat , I am here for you"

If the kids are in your care then you are able to monitor their behaviour respectfully AND give this poor woman some time.



its a hard situation, best of luck with it.

Nae x
We are all very aware of her children and where they are and who they're with. If we see they're with one of our children or someone elses, we will hover around and be close by to make sure things are ok.

Another issue which has been told to me, is that she will take advantage of people who are willing to care for her kids. Besides I actually honestly don't feel I could care for her children, as well as my own. I have my own issues and to take on hers too would be more than I am willing to do. I know that's terribly slefish, but I need to be ok too, and my family is priority for me. Sadly I am not sure she's getting alot of support from her hubby either. I really do feel for her. But I can't necessarily be terribly available to her.

I would worry that if you say something to her she might not come back. If she is struggling with depression, she may just find it all too hard. I think rather than saying something to her, maybe the other mums all need to pitch in and give her kids some attention and show them how to play with the other kids. I don't know that they need discipline as much as they just need someone to sit with them and show them how to play with other kids. If things are bad/sad at home too they might just be acting out. I don't think it is often that kids intend to do things that will upset other people, they often do them because there are other things going on. I think the kids need care just as much as the mum does.

I don't think you can turn a blind eye and you shouldn't have to because your kids have the right to feel safe and to have fun. But I think it might be an occassion to try and think outside the square a bit and see if there are some other things you can try to help out the kids and the mum.

I really don't know, but it does sound like a situation where a lot of caution is required. I do understand how incredibly frustrating it is for everyone else there though.
It is a big issue to me that she might feel picked on and not come back. To me it is more important that she feel part of the group right now, but I haven't been in the situation of her children hurting mine, nor have I felt I have been taken advantage of by her. I am seeing a mum in need, who has been dealt a terrible hand in life and who seems to be struggling. The other mums are seeing someone who is not dealing with behavioural issues shown by her children and her children picking on or bullying their children. They have also said the kids were misbehaved before she lost bub, so it's a longer term issue than I know about. Though I have tried to show the other mums things from the other side of the fence, that perhaps she has depression or something. I have suffered with PND and AND and it's not easy to parent well when in the fog of depression. If she is dealing with losing a baby at term too, well... I could totally understand why her kids are misbehaved. And I don't want to be the one, or part of being the one, who sends her over the edge. But on the other hand the other children in the group shouldn't feel or be bullied and hurt.

Goodness, I'm so torn! I have no idea what to do. Besides all of this, just how to you approach another parent and tell them their kids are bullies and feral???