ADVICE- Behavioural issues with children in mothers group.

[Cherished]

I tend to feel for the mother, can you imagine the pain of loosing a baby like that That aside you said you live in a remote community, again can you imagine how lonely you would feel if you knew that your mums group didn't really want you there or had major issues with your kids I'm in 2 minds, personally I left my mums group before the kids were even old enough to start nasty behaviour, looking at the mums it didn't take much to figure out that some of the kids would be very naughty and not too kind iykwim. So I tend to sit back and look at 'life' and what your kids are going to deal with through out it. For one thing there will always be nasty people around, you can either remove yourself and your kids from their company or you can teach your kids how to deal with the nasty people and get along with them. For me I've removed myself and my ds from people that don't support us or the loving caring environment that we are raising him in, that includes adults and kids. When he's older there will always be kids that aren't so lovely around but by then hopefully ds will have coping skills to deal with them. So yeah I don't know, you're the boss of your life and your kids. What I have done is see the 1 mum from that group pretty much every week or so for play dates with ds and her ds and I have other mums that see too. The notion that a random group of woman can be put together into one mothers group and all get along is an insane one when you think about it parenting is such a passionate thing to so many people with often many different ideas and if it's not a passion to some then they can also get your goat up by being blase things that you care about.

[Kazzo]

Just wondering, has anyone actually reached out to this women? You say that she was pregnant and then not and that she has not said anything and you and the other mums wonder what happened. Could you ask her if she is okay, offer an ear if she needs it. Sometimes even someone you don't know all that well can be someone you can open up to. She may really be detactched from everything even her own kids and using MG to not have to deal with her kids for a short time. If offering a hand to her helps her open up it can be a bridge to trying to help with her kids too.

[surprised]

If I come across a "difficult" child, I try really hard to make friends with them by playing with them, showing an interest in them etc. I then find they are much more willing to do as I ask - just little requests like "can you help me put this away" or "let's not touch people with our shoes".

You could also do a more broad set of "behaviour guidelines" for the whole group to outline expectations etc. But this would still have to be done really carefully so it wasn't obviously all about this woman's children.

Someone also could quiety ask her what she would like them to do if her kids are doing the wrong thing.

Good luck - really tricky situation. xo