Advice... getting some structure and some sanity with my 1 year old??

[Amber4]

Thanks to all of you for your ideas and encouragement. It means a lot

Sarah, the water suggestion is great. I hadn’t thought of that as an activity but feel pretty stupid now that I think about it because she sets it up herself by playing with water from her cup all the time! We do have a push walker but she still walks on her toes most of the time and I don’t think she’s stable enough for it yet (maybe I’m just being overprotective although our floors are mostly tiled so there is less bump protection).

Pandora, Black Rose and Tuesday’s Child - thanks for the suggestions re the night routine, especially keeping it consistent and the quiet time idea. We have fallen into letting her play again after her bottle (more so DH could have more time with her and so I could sneak off and get dinner made), but I think we’ve made a rod for our own backs. As for playgroups, I haven’t looked into them yet as DD is always so unsettled when we go to mother’s group. I suspect it’s because all of the other kids are very mobile and she tends to sit there and get aggro when they come and take toys off her and she can’t follow them! It makes for a fairly stressful time for both of us. I’d like to join a playgroup but might leave it for about 6 months.

Yeddi, what awesome ideas! Thank you so much.

Sloane and Miss E, your outing ideas are great and it helps to know what works for you with your evening routines.

Taurean, wow, I’m so grateful for all the info you’ve shared. Re the bottles/ milk feeds... I dropped her down to 2 recently because she’s a bit of a chubby bub (not huge, but 11.8kg with roly-poly thighs!) I wasn’t worried about her weight but so many people have said her weight is probably why she hasn’t walked/crawled yet so I felt as though I should reduce it. Don’t even get me started on MCHNs I stopped going to the clinic when she was 6 months old because they suggested that I put her on a diet. Yes with food restriction and all. I have always felt strongly about offering her as much varied food as she wants to eat and letting her decide how much she has.. except with the bottles as I was beginning to worry I guess and took everyone’s comments to heart. She has about 240ml milk twice a day now.. but sometimes cries when the bottle is finished, especially at night. This sounds ridiculous but I haven’t offered more and am now thinking I should. Same as your DD I’ve found she pushed the bottle away at other times when she’s had enough so there’s no reason for me to think I would overfeed her I guess, and she probably is thirsty with the heat we've been getting lately. I’m in the process of converting over to cows milk from formula now. Is that what you give your DD? I don't know if nutritionally it makes much difference... I just remember reading it somewhere.

[Taurean]

Oh you poor thing!! A diet for a baby, seriously! She definitely doesn't sound that big to me - just healthy

We started giving DD cows milk (must be full cream, they need the fat) about a week after her first birthday. There is no need to continue with formula, cows milk and other dairy has everything they need. If your DD hasn't shown any adverse reactions to dairy then try switching her. We ran out of formula on holiday and I didn't want to buy another tin of formula so we went straight to cows milk full time and DD has never looked back. She loved it immediately and still does.

I would definitely try some more milk in the evening, especially if you're happy to continue not giving her milk in the middle of the day. One of the girls in my MG often has close to 500ml in the evening - it's just what she needs! Our DD usually has 200ml but sometimes it's less and sometimes it's more. If she finishes her bottle and is unsettled then she gets more. And like I said, she tells us very clearly when she's done

I forgot to mention in my other posts that on really hot days or wet days, we go to indoor playcentres. The toddler areas are usually great fun

[sloane]

a diet for a baby? that's horrible.

i reckon don't worry about having made a rod for your backs with the post-bottle playtime in the evenings. it's important for your DD to have the time with your DH - maybe they can incorporate some very calming play/stories? not that it works like that here - playtime with dad is noisy & lots of fun she'll change soon enough anyway (don't they always just when you get used to something?!!) & then it won't matter

if your instinct tells you to offer her more milk at night, then do it. i really do think for the most part they know when they've had enough